Attempted to pray again, today..

[blobcatmap]

I've already mentioned on here that in the past, I've prayed to Allah five times. All of which were very specifically answered. I've been looking more and more into to Islam, and as I do I feel really discouraged. I woke up in the middle of the night because of a very horrifying nightmare about a man possessed by a demon mocking me. Since I woke up so early, I decided that I would try to pray the fajir prayer. Little did I know, it's not easy AT ALL. It takes lots of practice/memorization. I felt so sad after doing some research on it, but decided that I would pray in my own way, with the knowledge I currently have. So, I made wudu, faced the qiblah, tried to recite a quran verse, and prayed to Allah. I'd say this specific prayer I did was better than my last ones because not only did I do more such as wudu, Quran recitation, ect, but when I asked God for guidance while praying, it was like he was right there with me while I was doing so, and I got answers (or insights) about my questions right on the spot! It felt like something was speaking to me. So bizarre. I still feel extremely discouraged because I know I only did the prayer maybe 53% correctly. For the record, I'm still not even Muslim, which sounds insane, I know. I feel like I should do more research. This religion seems to be a lot more hard than Christianity.

 

[anatolian]

What I can suggest you is to do more research if you really feel like you should do so as you said. Then you wont regret.

 

[azc]

I've already mentioned on here that in the past, I've prayed to Allah five times. All of which were very specifically answered. I've been looking more and more into to Islam, and as I do I feel really discouraged. I woke up in the middle of the night because of a very horrifying nightmare about a man possessed by a demon mocking me. Since I woke up so early, I decided that I would try to pray the fajir prayer. Little did I know, it's not easy AT ALL. It takes lots of practice/memorization. I felt so sad after doing some research on it, but decided that I would pray in my own way, with the knowledge I currently have. So, I made wudu, faced the qiblah, tried to recite a quran verse, and prayed to Allah. I'd say this specific prayer I did was better than my last ones because not only did I do more such as wudu, Quran recitation, ect, but when I asked God for guidance while praying, it was like he was right there with me while I was doing so, and I got answers (or insights) about my questions right on the spot! It felt like something was speaking to me. So bizarre. I still feel extremely discouraged because I know I only did the prayer maybe 53% correctly. For the record, I'm still not even Muslim, which sounds insane, I know. I feel like I should do more research. This religion seems to be a lot more hard than Christianity.

Besides doing research keep in touch with scholars as well.

May Allah swt bless you with iman. Ameen

 

[Ümit]

Besides doing research keep in touch with scholars as well.

May Allah swt bless you with iman. Ameen

No my friend. You did your prayer 100% correct. İt may be not exactly in the way as prescribed...but you are still learning...so that is OK. Maybe you can write it down and read it during your prayer...for you in the learning fase this is allowed. You took a huge step....and totally not weird. You are saying you are not even muslim yet. Only Allah knows of course...İ personally think that you are already a muslim.
The memorisation takes a lot effort that is true...the most important one is Al Fatiha...start with that one...v
Good luck my friend

 

[blobcatmap]

One thing that's holding me back is worrying so much about how others will think about me, but I just keep thinking on the day of judgement, I don't want to use that as an excuse. Only God matters.

 

[Redwan.T]

Asalamualakum brother/sister
I want to tell you that you should never make an excuse of salah and don t worry when you pray you dont have to tell anyone all you have to matter about is Allah. I will give you an advice, go to your local mosque or Islamic Center and talk to them about it. Remember this if you don't do you salah you are not a Muslim even if you say you are a Muslim if you don't do salah you are not a Muslim. Never be ashamed of your religion. I will tell you this I went to a Christian school and I was the only one that was a Muslim. And I was proud to say I was a Muslim and I knew Allah would be proud of me.

Make sure you get a scholar and talk to them about the issue

 

[Redwan.T]

And make sure you practice or you could write the words down on an piece of paper and read it as long as you have the intention that you are doing salah

 

[xboxisdead]

One thing that's holding me back is worrying so much about how others will think about me, but I just keep thinking on the day of judgement, I don't want to use that as an excuse. Only God matters.

You are doing exactly 100% like what the uncle of Prophet peace be upon him did. In his deathbed he knew 100% that he is the prophet and that Allah is the one and only true God and Islam is the one and only true religion and that Allah does not have a son, partner, mother, father, lineage or family. He knew that his people are wronged and he knew there is paradise and hellfire and he knew of the angels...but he is afraid of what people will say to him (even in his deathbed). The prophet peace be upon him came to his ear and said just whisper it to my ear and say shahada...but the uncle looked at them and he was more worried about what they think or feel about him that..that second he uttered anything else but shahada.

Well...the uncle is now in the grave been punished and when he will be resurrected he will be thrown in hellfire for eternity. Having to worry about how others think, believe or feel will not save him in the afterlife did it?

Don't do the same. Who cares what other people think or feel about you. They will not protect you from the punishment of hellfire nor will they be the one to take you to paradise. You should only fear Allah and do what pleases him and nothing else matters.