× Register Login What's New! Contact us
Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    fatoo.zakariaa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Location
    New Jersey
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1
    Threads
    1
    Reputation
    5
    Rep Power
    0
    Likes (Given)
    0
    Likes (Received)
    0

    i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help

    Report bad ads?

    assalamualikoum im going throught a dilemma right now. i met this guy seven months ago, fell in love with him and he feels the same. we decided to get married a few months back but got into a little misunderstanding and broke it off. we got back together and now it’s more serious than ever. we want to get married but our families are complicating things. the complication mostly comes from my side of the family. my father is a very strict, stubborn and uneasy man. and i am also very stubborn. because of that we always disagree on things and clash heads. we got into a small argument about his wife(who’s not my mother) and her kids so we haven’t been talking for about six months now. i apologized to him a few weeks ago but he refused to accept my apology and said since i think i’m so grown i can do whatever i want he doesn’t care. the man that wants to marry me contacted him and told him how much he loves me and wants to marry me...my dad did not reply. so i tried talking to my dad. my dad was like i think i’m old enough to do what i want so i shouldn’t ask him for nothing. he was like go to your mother and uncle to do your nikkah. so i was like okay no problem i’ll let my mom know. i told my mom everything and she was like the only person that can give me away is my dad unless he’s dead. so i did research online and found out that no one can give a girl away except her father or a male from her fathers side. so i contacted my uncle my dads brother. he knows how my dad is so he had no problem with doing my nikkah. all he cared about was of the guy was a good one. so the guys family didn’t have a problem with us getting married but now they do. in the beginning his mom was so excited her son decided to get married because she’s been bringing up the marriage topic for eight years and he always refused. he finally changed his mind so she was happy about that. the thing is me and him had alittle misunderstanding he got drunk and when his mom called she brought up the marriage thing again. so he agreed without thinking about the consequences. he was upset and drunk. his mom had a couple of girls in mind so in a matter of two days she picked someone out for him. when we talked on the phone he told me that his mother called and he was drunk so he told her he’ll marry whoever she wants. we talked for hours on the phone and made up. the next day he called his family and told them he doesn’t want to marry the girl they chose because he loves me. his mom freaked out and so did all his family. they told him it’s too late to change his because they already contacted the girls family and set a nikkah date. the guy told them he doesn’t care he doesn’t want the girl. his parents was like you will marry her whether you like it or not and your nikkah is on friday lol they hung up on him and he told me he’s going to cut them out his life from now on. the only family he got now is me. he said even if they do the nikkah he’ll divorce her later because he wants me. so we plan on going to get married in a mosque without any of their approval. i just wanna know if my uncle can be my wali?

  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    *charisma*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    I am a traveler, May Jannah be my home ameen
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    4,812
    Threads
    196
    Reputation
    50165
    Rep Power
    121
    Likes (Given)
    1250
    Likes (Received)
    2875

    Re: i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help

    Assalamu Alaikum,

    So basically, you have no relationship with your father, the man you want to marry drinks and gets drunk, and now he has created problems for his family by accepting to marry a girl that he does not want to marry, and is now willing to cut ties with his parents, the two people who come BEFORE you and AFTER allah?

    I wonder if this sounds as terrible to you as it sounds to me. This situation is not a good one to get married to. Please use your head and don't run after your emotions. This will not end well.
    | Likes Flawed liked this post
    i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

  4. #3
    Supernova's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    629
    Threads
    15
    Reputation
    2299
    Rep Power
    22
    Likes (Given)
    136
    Likes (Received)
    345

    Re: i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help

    So Basically, you want to marry a drunk but your greater concern here is the validity of a Wali ?
    i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help

    Dark Side Of The Moon

  5. #4
    Flawed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    34
    Threads
    6
    Reputation
    12
    Rep Power
    1
    Likes (Given)
    86
    Likes (Received)
    7

    Re: i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help

    Even though you are attached to him right now you won't see the dangers yet but honestly don't get married to someone who drinks alcohol that can cause an unhappy marriage. He should stop drinking before he even considers marriage.

  6. Report bad ads?
  7. #5
    Studentofdeed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    418
    Threads
    118
    Reputation
    1551
    Rep Power
    10
    Likes (Given)
    132
    Likes (Received)
    136

    Re: i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help

    Is this serious? Are you considering to marry someone who will divorce a woman just so he can marry you? How can you support that? A woman who is innocent and doesnt deserve this is divorced just so you guys can have ur wedding? How do you know if he wont do the same thing to you down the road?

  8. #6
    Studentofdeed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    418
    Threads
    118
    Reputation
    1551
    Rep Power
    10
    Likes (Given)
    132
    Likes (Received)
    136

    Re: i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help

    Please focus on yourself and cut off from this guy. This guys does not sound like a good guy for marriage. And please try to please your parents. They know what's best for you. May Allah make it easy for you

  9. #7
    MazharShafiq's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Pakistan
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    1,146
    Threads
    55
    Reputation
    1018
    Rep Power
    23
    Likes (Given)
    71
    Likes (Received)
    231

    Re: i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help

    Quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed View Post
    Please focus on yourself and cut off from this guy. This guys does not sound like a good guy for marriage. And please try to please your parents. They know what's best for you. May Allah make it easy for you
    Yes, parents never want to hurt anyone, so humans should rely on them and Allah more than themselves.
    i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help



  10. Hide
Hey there! i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. i’m going through a marriage dilemma please help
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-24-2018, 02:32 PM
  2. marriage dilemma
    By muslim1500 in forum Advice & Support
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-05-2015, 09:01 PM
  3. ***** Marriage Dilemma.... Need Advice Please
    By AlBawasel in forum Advice & Support
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-13-2012, 09:48 AM
  4. In a Dilemma..
    By Dimension in forum New Muslims
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 08-09-2012, 05:06 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create