format_quote Originally Posted by
Studentofdeed
assalmu Alaykum...im back. Im going to say things that may be displeasing. Please forgive me but im really struggling.
I'm trying hard to keep faith but I'm losing it. I honestly do not feel like I can go any further. I have been disappointed and hurt. People have harmed me, in retaliation I stay quiet simply to please Allah. Idk if this a test or punishment. I remember making dua for something that I wanted since I was a little boy. It was literally almost within my grasp. I thought my dua was finally going to come true. A dua that I made in front of the kabah. It was everything I wanted, only it was ripped before I even got a chance. I was so let down and shocked. I made this dua in front of the kabah, I thought it would have been accepted. Instead my hopes were and dreams were played. I'm trying not to be angry with Allah, but how he can play with my wishes and dreams. Why should I even bother making dua? So many times I stayed away from haram for the sake of him and he doesnt even care?? People told me be grateful that Allah gave you second chance in life, but ever since I got my "second chance" my life is been so crappy. Mocked and humialted at every turn. Why didn't he just let me die when I was dying? Why let me live only for me to suffer more?
My family call me a hypocrtie on a consecutive daily basis based on every mistake I do.i can no longer give them their rights or control my anger. I have no hope or mercy in Allah. I have severally lost faith and no longer have any hope in the future. The only thing I can look for is my death. If im a hypocrite, why should I even try then? Why not kill myself so I can go to hell if thats what Allah wants for me? Why does he torture me like this? I used to to think all of this was a test but honestly there is no more hope for anything..
format_quote Originally Posted by
Studentofdeed
It was a moment of weakness.
Salaam brother,
Firstly, I want you to read what YOU wrote down. Read it twice. It's important that this stays and you, as well as many others read it. Because many people, which includes yourself, are suffering through depression, a mental health issue. You are at the highest stage of depression, so close to suicide, and trying to die. Alhumdulillah, something stopped you from committing suicide.
Secondly, I wrote this on a former post you started. That you must seek professional help right away! You are at a severely high phase of depression. I asked you to see a therapist, counselor, someone skilled,, educated and knowledgeable about mental health issues to speak to. Tell me where you live, I will seek someone out for you! Because if you don't, this is what happens. Your emotions will come out hard, which has happened. You were vulnerable and almost lost your life.
And lastly, I ask you to first turn to Allah Subhanahuwatallah and pray for forgiveness. But also pray and make dua that you beat this depression that is causing you so much harm for the past few years of your life. Then please brother, seek professional help such as therapy, group therapy, and/or counselling. You need to sit down and talk to an expert right now! You were at the point of suicide, which is the most fatal. Please brother, seek help! Mental health issues need to be taken seriously and we need to combat the stigma around it. It's OKAY to seek help. Read below:
Medical treatment or seeking a cure is allowed, because of the report of Abu’l-Darda’ (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Allaah has sent down the disease and the cure, and has made for every disease the cure. So treat sickness, but do not use anything haraam’” (Reported by Abu Dawood, 3376),
“O Messenger of Allaah, should we not treat sickness?” He said: “Treat sickness, for Allaah has not created any disease except He has also created the cure, except for one disease.” They said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what is it?” He said: “Old age.”’” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi)
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