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    Qweer's Avatar
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    How do one be sure that repentance is sincere?

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    How can one be sure that his repentance is sincere
    Like i know one must feel guilt and bad for doing it
    He must resolve never to do it
    Ask Allah for forgiveness and hope in his mercy
    But how do one know if we are guilty what if someone reads that something is shirk or if a person remembers that he had comitted shirk and then just casually say ya Allah forgive me he resolved not to do it and believes Allah will forgive him and he really wants forgiveness and paradise is this guilt that as they found out they went to ask forgiveness they do feel remorse for the shirk or anyother evil deed they afe like this was bad but when they make repentance they are not scared because they believe Allah will forgive them if they ask forgiveness is there no shirk in their repentance what about someone who wants to go to paradise and not to get punishment asks forgiveness so they don't get in trouble is there no guilt in it if i do something wrong i dont feel scared rather i ask forgiveness and belives Allah has forgiven me and i resolve to not do it again is there no guilt in it do i have to ask forgiveness for my sins again because it might not be accepted what about a person who believes to err is human so if they make mistake they simply just ask forgiveness and carry out thier life feeling nothing are they jsut doing formality and not taking things seriously what about someone who get waswasas like u did that once and they just ask Allah to forgive them and are like im forgiven cause i asked forgiveness is it asking forgiveness because of waswasas?

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    المدينه's Avatar
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    Re: How do one be sure that repentance is sincere?

    اسلام عليكم

    Hmmm..... if I understood this correctly, you are asking how to really be sure one is sincerely repenting for something they did.

    Now, I am not qualified to give you any kind of answer with a beautiful ayat or a wise hadith. I will leave that to the ones who are much wiser than I am. May Allah forgive me and let me learn from them

    What I can do is give my honest opinion

    I have been reading a lot of your posts. I read a lot of nervousness. Your thoughts seem to start spiraling and your posts seem to come from a very overwhelmed place. Forgive me if I am mistaken, this is just my impression.

    The feeling of sincere repentance is something very personal. I think everyone feels it differently but guilt, shame and the firm resolve to avoid that sin entirely with every effort to do so are all pretty unanimously agreed upon.

    Fear as a sign of reoentance? I guess it depends on what it is that we fear. Fear of being caught or being punished? Fear of our sins being known? Or fear that we'll never make amends? I personally never fared well with fear so I won't say too much about it. Allah knows best. He knows everything.

    To sin, say I'll be forgiven if I ask nicely and then to repeat that sin? That doesn't sound like repentance to me.

    It sounds more like the hand being caught in the cookie jar; and chocolate smudges in the face.

    At some point in time, we have all toed the line in some way: Hands up if you never, ever disobeyed or questioned or rebelled otherwise. *sees no hands*

    No one is free from sin. No one. But we have not only been given Allah's words and commands (not rules, not guidelines and nowhere did I ever read "Allah's Suggestions") ; we're given the capacity to learn and understand. And we are given teachers throughout our entire life here. Our brains aren't on that level to actually fully understand Allah. So we learn as we go, but trust, have faith and we follow the rules as best as we possibly can, right? We better ourselves with the lessons we learn and with the knowledge we gain. Allah spelled it all out for us very clearly. That's a blessing right there.

    So for the question of sincere repentance, I believe one must be aware that what they are doing is wrong. And when we do wrong, we will be punished. No pretty please with a cherry on top. Refrain from the sin we are repenting should go without being said. Human nature says we'll surely mess up some other way again. But we should do all we can to avoid stepping in the same mess twice.

    As for waswas...what helps me is to pray the obligatory five, pray the sunnah prayers, learn the duas in arabic, read the quran, learn it, study just a surah or a single ayat a day... focus on your intentions... When some thought creeps in, I say

    اعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
    I seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan the accursed

    And خلاص ... try to busy yourself with as much remembrance of Allah as possible. Try your best to give the space in your mind to your relationship with the Creator and not leave any for the devil to get in. With time, انشالله , it will get easier


    So many brothers and sisters here have posted some really really educational and inspiring links and tips. ابشالله you will find them and I pray you'll find peace in your mind to stop the carousel of thoughts.

    May allah bless you and guide you through the confusion. Its not a fun place to be. And if you want to, you can contact me anytime. I'll be here for you and will listen. You're in my duas.

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    Re: How do one be sure that repentance is sincere?

    Quote Originally Posted by المدينه View Post
    اسلام عليكم

    Hmmm..... if I understood this correctly, you are asking how to really be sure one is sincerely repenting for something they did.

    Now, I am not qualified to give you any kind of answer with a beautiful ayat or a wise hadith. I will leave that to the ones who are much wiser than I am. May Allah forgive me and let me learn from them

    What I can do is give my honest opinion

    I have been reading a lot of your posts. I read a lot of nervousness. Your thoughts seem to start spiraling and your posts seem to come from a very overwhelmed place. Forgive me if I am mistaken, this is just my impression.

    The feeling of sincere repentance is something very personal. I think everyone feels it differently but guilt, shame and the firm resolve to avoid that sin entirely with every effort to do so are all pretty unanimously agreed upon.

    Fear as a sign of reoentance? I guess it depends on what it is that we fear. Fear of being caught or being punished? Fear of our sins being known? Or fear that we'll never make amends? I personally never fared well with fear so I won't say too much about it. Allah knows best. He knows everything.

    To sin, say I'll be forgiven if I ask nicely and then to repeat that sin? That doesn't sound like repentance to me.

    It sounds more like the hand being caught in the cookie jar; and chocolate smudges in the face.

    At some point in time, we have all toed the line in some way: Hands up if you never, ever disobeyed or questioned or rebelled otherwise. *sees no hands*

    No one is free from sin. No one. But we have not only been given Allah's words and commands (not rules, not guidelines and nowhere did I ever read "Allah's Suggestions") ; we're given the capacity to learn and understand. And we are given teachers throughout our entire life here. Our brains aren't on that level to actually fully understand Allah. So we learn as we go, but trust, have faith and we follow the rules as best as we possibly can, right? We better ourselves with the lessons we learn and with the knowledge we gain. Allah spelled it all out for us very clearly. That's a blessing right there.

    So for the question of sincere repentance, I believe one must be aware that what they are doing is wrong. And when we do wrong, we will be punished. No pretty please with a cherry on top. Refrain from the sin we are repenting should go without being said. Human nature says we'll surely mess up some other way again. But we should do all we can to avoid stepping in the same mess twice.

    As for waswas...what helps me is to pray the obligatory five, pray the sunnah prayers, learn the duas in arabic, read the quran, learn it, study just a surah or a single ayat a day... focus on your intentions... When some thought creeps in, I say

    اعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
    I seek refuge in Allah from Shaitan the accursed

    And خلاص ... try to busy yourself with as much remembrance of Allah as possible. Try your best to give the space in your mind to your relationship with the Creator and not leave any for the devil to get in. With time, انشالله , it will get easier


    So many brothers and sisters here have posted some really really educational and inspiring links and tips. ابشالله you will find them and I pray you'll find peace in your mind to stop the carousel of thoughts.

    May allah bless you and guide you through the confusion. Its not a fun place to be. And if you want to, you can contact me anytime. I'll be here for you and will listen. You're in my duas.
    Did u went through therapy? Like to a psychiatrist?

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    Re: How do one be sure that repentance is sincere?

    Quote Originally Posted by Qweer View Post
    Did u went through therapy? Like to a psychiatrist?
    Psychiatrist? Let's say this much.... I think it's safe to say that everyone has their baggage and everyone has tried to get help in one way or another. So to answer you truthfully, I have seen a psychiatrist at one point in my life many, many years ago. However, due to my age at the time (I was six), it could only be classified as a "therapy" for the officials and the case it involved. But it wasn't what it was "supposed " to be.

    My therapy is in islam. My medicine is the quran and my doctor is allah. I am an extremely sensitive person by nature and I have always had a passion for psychology. So between that and a good portion of common sense to counter my emotional side, I am grateful to be blessed with this for my self. It sounds kind of far out there but it's the truth.

    Everyone has something going down. We have all been at what we felt was rock bottom. No denying that. And by the mercy and grace of our Lord and رب, we are still standing. You are too!

    Okay, no doubt, those waswas can drive a person mad. The constant fear, doubt and second guessing every move we make... its exhausting and is just no peaceful way to live.

    Peace is not around us in life. It's inside. But isn't Islam peace as well?

    You fear Allah, facts. Yet how much do you actually trust Allah? How much do you really rely on him? Are you really aware that there is nothing he cannot do for you? Have you completely grasped the fact that he is in control of everything? We were given free will but ultimate control is not with us. It's Allah's plan, not ours.

    Yes, you're tested with this OCD. But what are you learning from it? You are suffering, 100, but are you learning too?

    I hope you don't misunderstand my tone for being condescending. These are questions I personally asked myself and I continue to ask myself when I start to slip. Maybe they can help you too.

    Reading the Quran was the best decision I ever made. I just picked it up one day and started reading. And i read it over and over again.

    Islam was not made difficult. Islam is not oppressive, aggressive, or anything else like that. We people just make things more complicated than they are.

    When you are getting those waswas again, before you ask yourself if this is believed to be kufr or shirk or whatever, try asking what you yourself believe and ask Allah to protect you. Ask him to guide you and to help you learn what you need to learn. He will. He is always there and never does he not listen or turn us away.

    I pray for you to heal and that Allah will help you to silence the voices in your mind. I pray Allah can open your heart wide to the light that islam is and I pray you can find comfort in it; not just fear. We're here for you but Allah is there first
    | Likes Studentofdeed liked this post

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    Re: How do one be sure that repentance is sincere?

    Ameen

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    Re: How do one be sure that repentance is sincere?

    you don't! the onus of the result of the repentance is not up to you, lets leave the onus of the result to the one we are supplicating/repenting to

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    Re: How do one be sure that repentance is sincere?

    Quote Originally Posted by ashraf__ View Post
    you don't! the onus of the result of the repentance is not up to you, lets leave the onus of the result to the one we are supplicating/repenting to
    Forgive me please if I misunderstood something

    I perceived the question to be how a person is sure they are sincere in being repentant for their own sins. And I offered my opinion, as such a question doesn't have a fixed answer. At least none that I know of. Maybe someone wiser than I can say. Allah knows best though.

    What I understand here from your statement is that we don't ever know if we're forgiven for our sins, as that is up to Allah. This is something I agree with completely. We will know when we're called to judgement and our book is handed to us

    Again, perhaps I misunderstood the OP's question. If that is the case, I thank you kindly and stand corrected.

    May Allah bless you and forgive us all


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