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Thread: Certain death?

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    Certain death? (OP)


    So mother insists on me marrying a girl in local area or western area. My mother says she suffered alot and had to go to school because my father lost his job and she eneded up getting a job. She said the whole ordeal was not good for her and very hard and we were mistreated when young. However I on the other hand want to marry a girl who is simple not caring if she is educated or rich but just religious and beautiful. However she says when you will die, what will your wife do or what will your kids do? They will be on streets and you are selfish because you want to marry a woman who is poor. This she emphasizes on the fact I have heart issues. She keeps saying this as if it is certain I'm going to die soon. She also said that if you want to screw your life and be selfish and **** your life then go ahead.

    I'm thinking from an Islamic perspective and I am hoping Allah wouldn't destroy me and my family like that for me to die and my family on streets. I don't want to marry girls from here because they are unchaste, racist, promiscuous, and materialistic. If I marry a simple girl from back home she will appreciate every single thing I do for her.

    I also had no parents had home to teach me islam or anything. I was at the mercy of society as I had no parents at home. I was upset and lonely. I do not want my child to go through that. That's why im going to school passes my admission exam. But why am I even going to school if im supposed to marry an educated woman or why should I even get married if im certain to die early??

    No one knows when they will die but they way my family speak about it, its like they are certain im going to die soon. Its stressful and demoralizing.

    Im sick of this nonsense. Im following islam, yet every where there are fake people, money minded people, staying away from zina, why am I following islam when Allah doesn't acknowledge me? Or show me any sign of me being loved? I have to constantly fight to get married.
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    Re: Certain death?

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    Last edited by Yrvhere?; 4 Weeks Ago at 06:08 AM.
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    Re: Certain death?

    Quote Originally Posted by Revert alYunani View Post
    There are sisters in this forum who are from western countries and they are very religious,why didnt you try here too? Make a thread,talk about yourself,maybe one is interested or know other people who might be interested..
    I was told it was not allowed. And I'm pretty sure the sisters wouldn't be interested.
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    Re: Certain death?

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    But how do these things work please? We just put our info and hope for smn to contact us? Lol i doubt a girl would contact a man without knowing anything about him except a few words, unless i write im rich and all.... How do they work pls? I wanna know if its worth making an insta for this...do we see their faces or not?
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    Re: Certain death?

    Quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed View Post
    I was told it was not allowed. And I'm pretty sure the sisters wouldn't be interested.
    How do you know?.Try and if nobody is interested then at least you tried.But if you dont try.
    Who told you its not allowed? Dont we have marriage section?
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    Re: Certain death?

    Quote Originally Posted by Revert alYunani View Post
    But how do these things work please? We just put our info and hope for smn to contact us? Lol i doubt a girl would contact a man without knowing anything about him except a few words, unless i write im rich and all.... How do they work pls? I wanna know if its worth making an insta for this...do we see their faces or not?

    I dont exactly know this cuz i havent used it. I just found out that people use the online sites a lot especially from west. In the subcontinent, it isnt used by the muslims but mostly by the non muslims. In west, it is difficult to find a pious woman cuz most women are non muslims and those that are muslims, they are influenced by feminism so there are like very "few" who are actually pious Alhamdulillah. So it becomes difficult to find that. This is why i shared otherwise i am of the opinion that the person should be met offline. This is why i first suggested the brother to seek offline means.
    From what i saw, they just ask for ur profile data and some of them ask for pictures , some dont. And woman doesnt contact, her wali does. In west , there is less population of muslims as compared to kuffar so it becomes one of the reasons for delay in marriage. But where are u from? If u live in west, i guess u should try it.
    Last edited by Yrvhere?; 4 Weeks Ago at 06:43 AM.
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    Re: Certain death?

    I had someone message them on my behalf. We will see where it goes. I did try offline...no luck

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Revert alYunani View Post
    How do you know?.Try and if nobody is interested then at least you tried.But if you dont try.
    Who told you its not allowed? Dont we have marriage section?
    Do we have a marriage sections? I would like to see the sister's face though. Even though they have good personalities. I still would like some attraction to be there. How can we do that on a forum ???
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    Re: Certain death?

    Quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed View Post
    I had someone message them on my behalf. We will see where it goes. I did try offline...no luck

    - - - Updated - - -



    Do we have a marriage sections? I would like to see the sister's face though. Even though they have good personalities. I still would like some attraction to be there. How can we do that on a forum ???
    No sister face on forum lol.. No sane sister would put her pic on a forum

    Well if it was me i would make a thread and see who is interested then pm them but ok in shaa Allah this for the best
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    Re: Certain death?

    No I know the picture thing, but I was saying how would it work? I do not feel comfortable DM either because I don't want to sin

    - - - Updated - - -

    Ur making fun of me aren't you?
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    Re: Certain death?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yrvhere? View Post
    I dont exactly know this cuz i havent used it. I just found out that people use the online sites a lot especially from west. In the subcontinent, it isnt used by the muslims but mostly by the non muslims. In west, it is difficult to find a pious woman cuz most women are non muslims and those that are muslims, they are influenced by feminism so there are like very "few" who are actually pious Alhamdulillah. So it becomes difficult to find that. This is why i shared otherwise i am of the opinion that the person should be met offline. This is why i first suggested the brother to seek offline means.
    From what i saw, they just ask for ur profile data and some of them ask for pictures , some dont. And woman doesnt contact, her wali does. In west , there is less population of muslims as compared to kuffar so it becomes one of the reasons for delay in marriage. But where are u from? If u live in west, i guess u should try it.
    Im in germany and yeah i have nobody to propose to cuz of the same reasons you mentioned.. I dont mind if she is in usa or uk or whatever i can go to her i dont mind.She wouldnt feel comfortable here.
    Ill see in shaa Allah maybe i use it

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed View Post
    No I know the picture thing, but I was saying how would it work? I do not feel comfortable DM either because I don't want to sin

    - - - Updated - - -

    Ur making fun of me aren't you?
    Relax im not making fun of you. I am saying what i would do., but if you are interested in a particular one and pm them through another then in shaa Allah its for the best thats what i am saying
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    Re: Certain death?

    Have u tried your own advice? Lol
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    Re: Certain death?

    Quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed View Post
    Have u tried your own advice? Lol
    I tried twice and it didnt work because we didnt fit when it comes to religion. She was quranist and the other was very rich and wanted a very rich guy, got dissapointed that i am not a dubaian sheyk.So i wanna know smn very good before i do it again.But you try, who knows, as long as the niyah is good
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    Re: Certain death?

    Was it on here or ummah forums? Quranists are the people who follow the Quran only right? We're you able to see how they looked?

    As for the girl who wanted a Dubai sheik and is running after money. She is a foolish. Pious men are more valuable than silly things like money
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    Re: Certain death?

    Quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed View Post
    Was it on here or ummah forums? Quranists are the people who follow the Quran only right? We're you able to see how they looked?

    As for the girl who wanted a Dubai sheik and is running after money. She is a foolish. Pious men are more valuable than silly things like money
    Yeah i dont care.She can be nur al ayn coming from. Jannah i wont marry a quranist. Quranist dont accept any hadith only Quran they are out of the question for me.

    The dubaian one is the one who kinda agree then started oh well i want a dubaian oh i want one from here oh this oh that. Waste of time bro, here sisters are really nice from what i see, so if you want a pious muslim you have here
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    Re: Certain death?

    Okay Jazakallah Khayran for your advice bro. Il think on it
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    Re: Certain death?

    Quote Originally Posted by Revert alYunani View Post
    No sister face on forum lol.. No sane sister would put her pic on a forum

    Well if it was me i would make a thread and see who is interested then pm them but ok in shaa Allah this for the best
    Lol I remember the last time someone did that, the thread ended up turning into gender wars
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    Re: Certain death?

    Assalamu alaykum, I think the reason why you may be having an extra hard time finding a spouse is because of the pandemic. I can't remember if I asked this already, have you tried genuine muslim matrimonial sites? There are a good few I know of that could help. How long have you been searching for

    But there's also this subreddit I've noticed. It's called Muslimmarriages, people search on there and there are good muslims on there. You can also go to the brothers section subreddit and make a post about your troubles and ask for connections. If you meet a girl online you can ask her to dm you a picture after a bit and promise to delete after viewing it and you can show her your picture as well. You can also video chat with her and another one of her family members around if you two are long distance if she doesn't trust to send a pic

    Quranists are the people who follow the Quran only right? We're you able to see how they looked?
    And please stay away from marrying one because their belief system will end up corrupting yours
    Last edited by Islami.Mu'mina; 4 Weeks Ago at 01:21 AM.
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    Re: Certain death?

    Walkum Salaam Sister. I have tried matching sites, the imam, even family. Nothing has been of avail. Allah knows best. Which subreddit is it? Is it on islamicboard? No of course yea I understand what you mean about the DM part.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Il have to ask...problem is people may not feel comfortable doing it. I have asked in my community but they give excuses and avoid it. One person said I was too young...but im in 20s? Thank you again for your advice. May Allah bless and reward you! Ameen
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    Re: Certain death?

    Quote Originally Posted by Islami.Mu'mina View Post
    You can also video chat with her and another one of her family members around if you two are long distance if she doesn't trust to send a pi
    or they can enter in telegram,there is an option to send a pic for a few seconds,and you cant save it nor record it.If you do screen record you can capture a video call.I mean ofc no normal muslim would be such a maniac but in case they wanna be super sure.
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