My in laws have been abusive and controlling from the beginning of my marriage. I have a young 9 month old baby. My pregnancy resulted in severe anxiety and postnatal depression. I have received no support from my in laws. My mother in law ignores me like i don't exist, i call her but she doesn't answer or get back to me. The siblings even though they are younger have bullied me in the past and i feel ashamed to say i put up with it. I only put myself first when my mental health deteriorated drastically. After that i found out i was pregnant and lockdown happened. The distance has grown bigger and bigger. I stopped chasing them not intentionally but because i was suffering.
My husband and i are at the point of considering divorce because of this. He expects me to swallow their behaviour and allow them to ignore me but have a relationship with my baby, how can i do that? How can i let them throw toxic behaviour at me and still function with my own mental health problems. How can i be the best version of myself for my baby with that negativity in my life? I'm heartbroken he doesn't see it, he should be the one protecting us. He still attends every event with them regardless of no relationship to his wife and child. I'm a human being and don't deserve that do i?
May Allah make it easy for you. Is there someone you can talk to, someone whose opinion they will respect?
Like an imam, or a family counsellor. If you can't find a muslim counsellor, I think a non muslim can still be helpful, because toxic relationships happen regardless belief/religion.
You need someone who will listen and understand what you're going through and provide a way out,
or at least can show you how to heal yourself even if it means you have to remove yourself from the toxic environment, because being in such environment will make it difficult for the healing process.
Jabir bin 'Abdullah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (s.a.w) said:'A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him." (Jami 'at Tirmidhi)
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