wa aleykum salaam warahmatullahi wabaraakatuhu. Ramadan Mubarak, and warm greetings to our interfaith brothers and sisters in humanity who happen across this post.
Jazakallahu khairan kadhiran ya akhi 'Isa, wabaraakallahu feek.
I removed a rather large du'a out of embarrassment, almost a full page. I felt shy to post something so strong in front of such a knowledgeable audience. Something that plagues me a little, to be honest. I have a desire to connect with my bretheren, both in humanity and Islam, and yet, not in such a public manner. The emotions that Islam has nurtured, inspired and awakened are masha'allah very strong and I haven't quite yet learned how to temper them.
I want so much to share, and to learn, and then I realise how insignificant I am. My emotions have been magnified through Islam because it gave me something worth fighting for, as opposed to wielding an aimless opinion. [personally nothing but Islam makes sense, conceptually speaking - no offense to those of alternate opinions or faiths, no other concept withstood even a basic critical analysis. I pigeon-holed trinitarian beliefs in highschool. I love my Creator for His Uniqueness and the love the Perfection of His deen. Our Creator has His place, mankind has theirs...]
I'm struggling to find my place in the current Islamic world and I can't decisively say whether or not I'm being tested or I'm simply doing my own head in - a la waswaas. I've tried, or at least I hope I've tried, to contribute towards, learn and adapt all things Islam... and, astaghfirullah I've done such a good job of embarrassing myself in front of some, masha'allah, knowledgeable and respectable brothers [Not to mention what a donkey I've made of myself in the presence of the unseen - audhu billah].
I'm a baby Muslim... not even 2 years old... But I already have so much that I want to share, in spite of the fact that I have such an absurdly HUGE amount of knowledge available to learn from, alhamdulillah.
Perhaps I should convey my revert story... I've hesitate in posting anything, however. Lately the reason has developed into not being sure that it would be for the sake of my Creator. I don't want to do it to satiate any desire, audhu billah. And yet I still find myself wanting to connect and share. Astaghfirullah
In a nutshell, I'm perplexed and, given my current locale and predisposition, my brothers are few and far between. So basically I've been trying to get comfortable being alone with my Creator and not much else. It has been quite a psychological journey considering the number of distractions that I have eliminated...
Thank you for responding akhi 'Isa. May Allah subhano wa Ta'ala grant you Goodness in this life and the next. May our beloved Creator grant all Believing men women children and jinn with the same, and infinitely more to those who are suffering unjustly or at the hands of oppression. Amin ya Rabbil alamin.
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