Smothering Me

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جوري

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I wrote this one in 2002... I think I have posted more than my share for one day but I didn't expect such a warm reception thank you... I know they are not religiousely themed but sometimes writing helps me unburden my soul

Smothering Me
Always outside my window
It stands proud and guard of its secrets
And the creatures of stone
In its core lascivious standing with wings perched
In defiance of man and God
Their eyes watching in all directions
Guarding a city of sinners
of which I stand a beginner
Its drunkards are in stupor
Its tombs stand still like my painful memories
And prayers or not I feel so empty
The rain is madness and fog is my breath
with each small step I feel unrest
I know of no home
I only speak of the darkness smothering me​
 
Deep....Masha'Allah.

Sorry to bump this but I wanted to ask, what was it outside your window? :o
 
sis did you have gargoyle statues outside your home? :ooh:

;D

I thought it was maybe a statue of an angel

But then 'guarding a city of sinners' reminds me of the angels protecting Makkah :-[
 
Oh God... I unsubscribed to this post eons ago.. were it not for my lovely sis giving me reps...
Jazaki Allah khyran

I wrote this when I was back in med school. I was living in the dorms (halls) which was right next to a grave yard.. and there were many odd imposing statues there.. so well this is partially about that..lol


I have written a million poems really.. well more arounf 160 something but.. they are all unhappy.. so I stopped sharing them :lol:
:w:
 
^ sis the more i read it, the more i can feel exactly what you felt at that moment.


the depth is really great!

mashaAllaah!
 
You guys are so nice to me.. I don't deserve all those kind word.. you make me feel like I am about to cry =(

I feel at home here

Jazakoum Allah khyran..

:w:
 
Awww sis, you deserved to have some of kind comments because we are owed you and you are amazing! :D:coolious:
 
Jazakoum Allah khyran..

sobahn Allah.. I was miserable back then.. these writings of mine are a reminder.. it was actually the time of my life I wrote the most..

here is another poem about that place..

Utter Darkness
Sometimes when I sleep I dream
Of those abandoned graves, of forgotten people
I know their names
And I feel their recluse
The stillness the fear that fills them
Sometimes there are worms and snakes
Gnawing at their helplessness
Or utter darkness and silent screams
That can't be made known to mortal ears
They are boxed in regret
In woe and sorrow
I climb up the dusty stairs
In the old house to escape
Their other worldly pleas
But they follow me
And I try to extricate myself
From my esoteric nightmares
I look for spring, new blooms, the sun
But I can't. I live for the cold the darkness!

after being there a while in my (blue period) my friend wanted to get an off campus home away from the grave yard.. which inspired me to write this

Not Knowing When
The old white taverns were accented
With mahogany wood
And even the stairs gave a hint
That no footsteps had ventured
where climbing trees made a permanent home
I whistled a Celtic tone from a CD
I had impulsively bought to end up liking
Just one song.
I thought it might stir a feeling of warmth
But unlike the antiquity of the place
The newness of my feelings made me uneasy
I couldn't make this place my own
There was such a desperation
In my roomate's voice, I had to cave in
An impossible feat and an impossible end
Now I am at the cross roads again
Not knowing when or how to make a stand.


after a while whenever I had any days off I just went home to my parents... because it was becoming too much for me...


Thank you for your interest :-[:)

:w:
 
whoah! speechless...there is too much meaning in it ,so much emotions in it

Darkness is your enemy but because your lonely it becomes your friend
in the deepest night there is a moment of silence ,
moonlight is shining in to your empty eyes...and it brings you hope..a hope thats enough to keep you alive ,
to keep you striving for a better place, a better time, a better life....


dont give attention at the above , its just a silly sleepy thought! :-[

JazakAllahu Khair sis!! :)

:w:
 
It's interesting.

By the way, what does Ephémérine mean? I've always wondered. In my French dictionary the closest I got was Ephémére, which translates into ephemeral, is that right? And what about the Skye at the beginning?
Sorry to derail this thread but I need to know, lol.
 
Jazakoum Allah khyran...

No thoughts are silly...
I have been writing since I was very young and sometimes when I see my work from teenage yrs I just want to incinerate it -- I almost nearely did once too.. but that would have been a shame... because you won't remember much of those days, save for what you put down on paper...

and now actually

this site poetry.com
will not only copyright your work for you for free... but you might actually end up winning something =)
I'd suggest anyone here who writes prose or poetry to save their work there insha'Allah....

:w:
 
It's interesting.

By the way, what does Ephémérine mean? I've always wondered. In my French dictionary the closest I got was Ephémére, which translates into ephemeral, is that right? And what about the Skye at the beginning?
Sorry to derail this thread but I need to know, lol.

yes it is.. but I think it is also some sort of flower... but I could be mistaken..

just denotes 'short lived' :D

:w:
 
nice, I never got how people write poetry though:)
whenever I saw one of my friends' lines, I was like no way you wrote this...

oh and do share more if you don't mind:)
 
thank you... ok if you insist :haha:

all of these poems listed here are related to that period --

Todesmeister.
I got used to the scent of formaldehyde
Severed bodies
Blood shot eyes
Souls lost in the brachial and sacral plexus
I contemplate the meaning of my solitary life
The sliver of a chance
That I could be next on top of the cold metal table
The horror of being sprawled out
To probers and onlookers
Of being placed in a jar
Frozen then sliced for display
I wonder what kind of people were they?
Someone's mother or uncle?
I think of my passed relatives
Who were committed to the ground
What it is like to be dead?!
Taking comfort in the idea of nonexistence
He calls my name to join
I grab my scalpel...​

To Not want
It is ok not to want a new dawn
To have seen but not long for green meadows
To walk the last foot steps in the faint light of the setting sun
To find a cool shade for just one
And lie beneath starry skies without a need for incandescence
To have had a full heart that didn't discriminate for happiness
& finally close one's eye and not seek beauty...

more on the grave yard

In Articulo Mortis
Strange land and alien ocean
Speak all my ceased emotions
Away from the moon's loving sight
At the end of an endless night
Alone in dreadful dreary
I watched the tombs in the cemetery
Its labyrinths were so empty
Save the head stones which were plenty
I listened to the hiss of death
Robbing the flowers of their bloom
They bowed their petals in shame
All is dark and somnolent here
In the foggy haze
Save the loud screams of the near by train​
 
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