Funny Quote

[Ansariyah]

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?”

Chris rock.

I cnt stand the guy, but that quote is jst funny lol.:X

 

[SixTen]

Yep, I think its very old though .

 

[Ansariyah]

Yep, I think its very old though .

I am very aware that its Old...I still like it. lol

 

[kwolney01]

ha ha....very funny...

its true though..

 

[x-strawberry-x]

lol..love it

 

[Sabbir_1]

lol funny

some more funny comedian quotes

When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

 

[x-strawberry-x]

lol that is funnyy!!!!

 

[Faith.]

Lol thats really funny:sunny:

 

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Hey sister, if you have some more funny quotes, feel free to post them here. I'll be thankful to you coz I love funny quotes.

Here's the one that I like very much.

I can't forgive my friends for dying; I don't find these vanishing acts of theirs at all amusing.

 

[Yasahra]

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.:

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.:hiding:

 

[Yasahra]

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

unknown

I love this one:bump1:

"Early in life I had learned that if you want something, you had better make some noise."

Malcolm X!

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

"Sure, I have friends, plenty of friends, and they all come around wantin' to borrow money. I've always been generous with my friends and family, with money, but selfish with the important stuff like love. "​

 

['Abdul Rahmaan]

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes.

 

[Olive]

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your successes.

Haha! I liiiike that one!

 

[Musaafirah]

Never make excuses,
your enemies won't believe you
and your friends don't need them.
(Can't remember who wrote that!)

 

[Umm Hurairah]

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,
​

"The road to success is always under construction."

"Cheer up, the worst is yet to come."

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"In California, they don't throw their garbage away -- they make it into television shows."

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

"I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out."

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."

"I intent to live forever. So far, so good."

"Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."

"When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me."

"When there is a will, I want to be in it."

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

"There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side, and the right side."

"Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else."

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limit."

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."

"A rich man's joke is always funny."

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't except it back."

​

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing."

​

​

 

['Abdul Rahmaan]

:thankyou:

 

[Ansariyah]

hey yasahra u forgot this one:

"How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than 60 years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?"
Logan Smith​

Reasspeect for our elders lol. Doesn't that humble u?

 

[Saimah Ali]

lol...nice one!

 

[Olive]

Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,
​

"The road to success is always under construction."

"Cheer up, the worst is yet to come."

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"In California, they don't throw their garbage away -- they make it into television shows."

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

"I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out."

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."

"I intent to live forever. So far, so good."

"Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."

"When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me."

"When there is a will, I want to be in it."

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

"There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side, and the right side."

"Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else."

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limit."

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."

"A rich man's joke is always funny."

"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't except it back."

​

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing."

​

​

Haha! Those are really good!