Marriage: muslim girl, non-muslim guy

[sevgi]

I ask this question humbly. I really know nothing on the topic.

What is the basis behind the ruling that a muslim woman cannot marry a non-muslim guy. Is it in the Quran or hadeeth? Is it due to practical reasons or faith based ones?

I have a senario:

Theres a non-muslim guy who is very open minded. He loves Islam so much that he wouldn't have an issue converting if it werent for his extremely non-islam family, ie, they believe that if a muslim enters the kitchen, all the food turns poisonous. He has faith, that is, he believes in all 6 pillars of iman. He practices some of the islamic practices etc...but he cannot convert and doesnt feel the need to convert as he feels in tune with islam as it is. He says that he wouldnt have an issue living like a muslim.

Could a muslim woman marry him? What bad could he be to her or their kids?

My humble salams.

 

[nebula]

Walaykumasalaam ukht, i found this fatwa that answers ur question i think,


Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men in the hope that they may become Muslim

What is the ruling on a Muslim woman marrying a non-Muslim man, especially when she hopes that he will become Muslim after marriage? Many Muslim women claim that they cannot find suitable Muslim men, and that they are faced with the threat of having to commit sin or live in extremely straitened circumstances.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is forbidden for Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men, according to the Qur’aan, the Sunnah and the consensus of the scholars (ijmaa’) (see question # 689) . If such a marriage takes place, it is invalid, it does not have any impact upon inheritances according to sharee’ah, and any children born from this union are illegitimate. Hoping that the husband may become Muslim does not alter this ruling in the slightest.

source islam-qa.com

 

[yusuf18]

this is absulutly HARAM end of

 

[S_87]

I ask this question humbly. I really know nothing on the topic.

What is the basis behind the ruling that a muslim woman cannot marry a non-muslim guy. Is it in the Quran or hadeeth? Is it due to practical reasons or faith based ones?

I have a senario:

Theres a non-muslim guy who is very open minded. He loves Islam so much that he wouldn't have an issue converting if it werent for his extremely non-islam family, ie, they believe that if a muslim enters the kitchen, all the food turns poisonous. He has faith, that is, he believes in all 6 pillars of iman. He practices some of the islamic practices etc...but he cannot convert and doesnt feel the need to convert as he feels in tune with islam as it is. He says that he wouldnt have an issue living like a muslim.

Could a muslim woman marry him? What bad could he be to her or their kids?

My humble salams.

if he is living like a muslim and he believes in islam in his heart, but the only thing stopping him is his parents then why couldnt he revert to islam without telling them and tell them later?

No she cannot marry him, but as for him he should meet with some brothers so that they can give him encouragement or the support he may need for reverting (not for her or marriage to her, but for himself)

 

[nebula]

He would have to become a muslim in order for a sister to marry him, even if hes acting like a muslim and belives he has to say the shahada, otherwise the nikah wouldn't be valid.

The person can become muslim by saying the shahada in private right, i don't think he has to tell his parents untill hes ready.

 

[Banu_Hashim]

According to sharia' I don't think that would be permissible. But as said ^, if he were to convert before telling his family and then marry...

Allahu Alim.

 

[crayon]

Salam sis

I had the same question a while ago, and I remember this video made sense at the time. Can only remember the gist of it now, but inshaAllah it will help.

link

 

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

http://tafsir.com/default.asp?sid=2&tid=5845

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam

Could a muslim woman marry him? What bad could he be to her or their kids?

this isnt an Islamic perspective or anything, but just how i see things
1)if they do get married whilst he still is a non-Muslim, out of love for her husband, what makes her so sure that she wont convert to his faith?

2) what effect will it have on the kids: what religion will the kids end up following, cos kids love their dads as well so what guarantees that out of their love for him also, that they will follow his faith...and also yeah we can say that they can choose their own religion, but seriously, kids have trouble choosing what to wear/eat

 

[ragdollcat1982]

I understand why a Muslim woman is forbidden to marry a muslim man. But what is the rational around Muslim being allowed to marry a Jewish or Chrisitan woman? From what I know of marriage customs in Islam it seems from my prespective that a Muslim man would only be able to approach the parents of a Muslim woman. I guess this concept has puzzeled me and I dont mean to sound obsessive over it. In college a Kuwait friend of mine asked me if I would consider marrying him so he could get his green card to stay in the USA. Where would a Muslim man meet a non Muslim woman for marriage other than in forbidden sitatuions and why would he desire to marry her in the first place? If anyone could answer this I would be most obliged.

 

[Muhaba]

I ask this question humbly. I really know nothing on the topic.

What is the basis behind the ruling that a muslim woman cannot marry a non-muslim guy. Is it in the Quran or hadeeth? Is it due to practical reasons or faith based ones?

I have a senario:

Theres a non-muslim guy who is very open minded. He loves Islam so much that he wouldn't have an issue converting if it werent for his extremely non-islam family, ie, they believe that if a muslim enters the kitchen, all the food turns poisonous. He has faith, that is, he believes in all 6 pillars of iman. He practices some of the islamic practices etc...but he cannot convert and doesnt feel the need to convert as he feels in tune with islam as it is. He says that he wouldnt have an issue living like a muslim.

Could a muslim woman marry him? What bad could he be to her or their kids?

My humble salams.

It is in the Quraan:

O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them, Allah knows best as to their Faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them. ... (Surah 60 Al- Mumtahinah, verse 10).


This verse shows that Muslim women are not lawful for non-muslim men.
note that the word used in the verse is kufaar (disbelievers) and not mushrikeen (idolators). That is because marriage with mushrikeen is haraam for both muslim men and women, according to the following verse of the Quraan:

And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress, etc.), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikun) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember. (Surah 2 Al-Baqarah, verse 221)


Also, if this man's family is so anti-islamic, how can you expect that they will be tolerant to the muslim woman? how can you expect that they will let her follow Islam and allow the children to be raised as muslims?

 

[doorster]

I understand why a Muslim woman is forbidden to marry a (non)muslim man. But what is the rational around Muslim being allowed to marry a Jewish or Christian woman? From what I know of marriage customs in Islam it seems from my perspective that a Muslim man would only be able to approach the parents of a Muslim woman. I guess this concept has puzzeled me and I dont mean to sound obsessive over it. In college a Kuwait friend of mine asked me if I would consider marrying him so he could get his green card to stay in the USA. Where would a Muslim man meet a non Muslim woman for marriage other than in forbidden sitatuions and why would he desire to marry her in the first place? If anyone could answer this I would be most obliged.

me and you both are puzzled by it (regarding haramness of situation where this "Muslim" male meets with, flirts with and proposes to a non-Muslim lady_ and what about those Christian ladies who are rather fond of their dietary freedoms? e.g. eating of swine?

anyway

But what is the rationale behind Muslim male being allowed to marry a Jewish or Chrisitan woman?

she can remain on her religion (according to Islam they are ahl al kitab) and their children should be raised as Muslims

But what is the rationale behind Muslim female being not allowed to marry a Jewish or Chrisitan man?

according to them we are infidels (so muslimah will have to convert) and there is zero chance of children being raised Muslim

in my circles it is highly discouraged for a Muslim male to marry a non-Muslim lady too

The Holy Qur’an has placed no restriction if a Muslim man wants to marry a Christian lady. It, however, has commanded the believers not to marry anyone who associates other partners with God (Mushriks) as He is one and alone nor should the believers marry any practitioner of adultery. Apart from these two restrictions, the Shari‘ah has placed no restriction on marriage contracts of the believers.

However, this does not mean that we should not use our commonsense and reason to choose the person we intend to marry. Indeed, there are many things involved that must be considered before a couple decides to get married. The foremost factor is that there should be harmony between both in terms of their financial status and religious set up. Religion is not a trivial matter to be ignored while choosing your prospective husband. Marriage means that two persons are going to live together for the rest of their lives. Do you think that there would be no conflict on religious issues? What about the children that God will bless you with? What religion would they be taught? You may think that such matters are of less importance to modern minds. But I assure you that these matters will be of concern to you both once the honeymoon is over.

Does the Qur'an say that the Christian women have to convert to Islam and gain knowledge about it to marry the Muslim men?

I would like to tell you that the Holy Qur’an does not hold religion as a petty matter. Why would Qur’an ask a lady to renounce her religion for some mortal man? Religion is something very personal in nature. It is a deep relationship — a connection more strong than the one which is established between a man and his wife. It is about God and His servants; it is about God and you. There is no man between you and Him. You accept Him on a very personal basis; you surrender before Him of your own accord. Did you know that Islam gives so much respect to Christians because of the fact that they believe in one God? The bitterest thing is however that they have devised ‘Three’ for the One that is alone and without any partner whatsoever. He is One and is the Creator and Master of all humans. Islam calls all the Christians to accept the fact that was also propagated by Jesus (sws) as the Lord is One. What I wish to say is that religion is something that should be chosen with a serious mind and after appreciating the value of the specific teachings that this religion promotes. Islam does not force people to convert. It is the truth that every willing person is welcome to embrace.

A marital arrangement is very simple. Islam requires that elders from both sides be involved in this matter. Marriages that are contracted without involving the families from both sides often end up in failure. Therefore, I very humbly advise to bring the matter to the attention of your family. Marriage is indeed a public announcement that this couple, from now on, would live as a wedded husband and wife—an arrangement which needs to be registered with the relevant government body as well.

Islam does not like that any intimate relationship should be created between a lady and a gentlemen before marriage. We—the servants of God are to live a pure and good life in order to attain inner purification. Islam repels the very idea of having an intimate relationship before marriage because it divests you of your purity of heart. We must know that this life is transitory in nature. It is a prelude to that life which is eternal and lasting. We must be well conscious of what we do in this life. Anything which is against morality will strictly be dealt with in the Hereafter. The only thing we need to keep in mind is that while marriage is a sacred bond, extramarital relationship is filth, which is abhorrent and intolerable.

^^ author/website does not exist any more so demand no references/names (I am thinking of making it my own by revising and editing at a future date)

(2:221) Do not marry mushrik women unless they believe; a slave woman who believes is better than a free woman who does not believe, even though the latter may appear very attractive to you. (Likewise) do not wed your women to mushrik men unless they believe; a slave man who believes is better than a free man who does not, even though he may be very pleasing to you.
These mushrik people invite you to the Fire *237 while Allah by His grace invites you to the Garden and His pardon, and He makes His revelations plain to the people so that they should learn a lesson and follow the admonition.

*237. This is the reason for, and the wisdom underlying the injunction mentioned above prohibiting marriage links with polytheists. Marriage does not consist merely of carnal relations between a man and a woman. It is a relationship which has deep social, moral and emotional implications.

If established between a believer and a polytheist, this kind of relationship has many possible outcomes. On the one hand, it is possible that because of the influence of the believing spouse, the other partner, the family and the future generations may become receptive to Islamic beliefs and to the Islamic way of life.

On the other hand, it is also possible that the spouse who is a polytheist may influence the thinking and mode of living of the believing spouse, the family and the future generations. Moreover this relationship may promote in that family a hotch-potch of Islam, downright atheism, and polytheism which, however welcome to non-Muslims, is in no way acceptable to Islam.

No true believer can run the risk that either the ideas and life-styles which are organically related to atheism and polytheism may flourish among the members of his family, or that some aspect of his own life may bear the impress of atheism or polytheism.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

It's better to say there is a very rare chance the kids would be Muslim if the woman married a non muslim man...and I say this because I know of a brother whos dad is Christian but mom is a Muslim. Him, his sister and now his mom are practising...but his dad is still aorund...poor guy he's planning on taking his mom and sister somewhere else with him cuz he knows its haraam.

I'll never understand the whole thing of a muslim guy being able to marry a non muslim woman...seeing as u still have situations where the wife never becomes muslim and kids are raised other than Muslim..although I know the opposite takes place as well. And also it bothers me that even a really good Christian woman will still do shirk...and when they dont, eventually they become Muslim...sorry it just doesnt sit in my mind...so i dont even bother with it and say Allahu Alam rather than causing Allah anger if I say anything wrong.

Also this ayaat that was posted...it refers to what Im talking about

And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress, etc.), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikun) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember. (Surah 2 Al-Baqarah, verse 221)

it says right there about not marrying those who do shirk(even the women) until they believe meaning in Islam...

So if anyone is willing to take the liberty of breaking it down to me lol...

 

[doorster]

.....

And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress, etc.), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikun) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember. (Surah 2 Al-Baqarah, verse 221)

it says right there about not marrying those who do shirk(even the women) until they believe meaning in Islam...

So if anyone is willing to take the liberty of breaking it down to me lol...

(2:221) Do not marry mushrik women unless they believe; a slave woman who believes is better than a free woman who does not believe, even though the latter may appear very attractive to you. (Likewise) do not wed your women to mushrik men unless they believe; a slave man who believes is better than a free man who does not, even though he may be very pleasing to you.
These mushrik people invite you to the Fire *237 while Allah by His grace invites you to the Garden and His pardon, and He makes His revelations plain to the people so that they should learn a lesson and follow the admonition.

*237. This is the reason for, and the wisdom underlying the injunction mentioned above prohibiting marriage links with polytheists. Marriage does not consist merely of carnal relations between a man and a woman. It is a relationship which has deep social, moral and emotional implications.

If established between a believer and a polytheist, this kind of relationship has many possible outcomes. On the one hand, it is possible that because of the influence of the believing spouse, the other partner, the family and the future generations may become receptive to Islamic beliefs and to the Islamic way of life.

On the other hand, it is also possible that the spouse who is a polytheist may influence the thinking and mode of living of the believing spouse, the family and the future generations. Moreover this relationship may promote in that family a hotch-potch of Islam, downright atheism, and polytheism which, however welcome to non-Muslims, is in no way acceptable to Islam.

No true believer can run the risk that either the ideas and life-styles which are organically related to atheism and polytheism may flourish among the members of his family, or that some aspect of his own life may bear the impress of atheism or polytheism.

 

[ausaf]

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[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^^Wrong thread for that bro...

 

[alcurad]

the sister asked a question which this thread seems not to be answering at all as of the last posts, what has some people's personal view, that muslim men may not marry women of all other faiths, which moreover goes against Islam to do with it?

on topic: if the only thing stopping him from becoming muslim is his parents and so on, and you're absolutely sure he won't remain as he is, then you may marry him since he is praying, believes in the pillars etc, for a certain period of time, and see what happens then, otherwise don't go down that road, it' not like he's the only man there is.

NB; a muslim brother who just converted would-presumably-not know much about the religion at first, however that doesn't prevent a muslim woman from marrying him, I'm basing my suggestion on that. on the other hand, if he doesn't embrace Islam 'fully' after some time had passed, then it-religiously speaking-would be a null marriage.

 

[Sampharo]

on topic: if the only thing stopping him from becoming muslim is his parents and so on, and you're absolutely sure he won't remain as he is, then you may marry him since he is praying, believes in the pillars etc, for a certain period of time, and see what happens then, otherwise don't go down that road, it' not like he's the only man there is.

I agree on bringing it back to topic too. Just to clarify, he needs to make Shahada and declaration and become muslim BEFORE concluding the marriage, and simply delay telling his parents.

 

[ragdollcat1982]

http://www.halaltube.com/contemporary-issues-marriage-to-non-muslim

A good presentation on this topic by Bilal Phillips. However when is explaining that a non Muslim man may ask his Muslim wives to do certain things such as immodest dress and physical contact with other men like kissing them socially can endanger their relgion. I would like to not that a decent Christian man would not ask his wife to do such things and would have similar expectations as a Muslim husband.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Unfortunately no explanation seems to be enough for me, when I look at that verse in my previous post..