Frustrations in getting married

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Muhammad Aseem

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Assalam o alaikum all,

I've a question for all you single people out there who have been actively looking tget married

What's your biggest frustration / fear in getting married , the reason why you haven't gotten married so far?

I ask cuz I've been happily married for a few years and I love this - I just wonder why my friends (and some of my wife's friends) aren't able to get married.
 
They want me to kick my mum who raised me all her life, and move out into our own place. while my mum rotts away in a empty house :hmm: There's also the fact I don't have a lucrative job and a fancy car :hmm: not saying all women are like this but this has been my experience so far. Oh yeah I don't make enough to go on holiday every year also ;D

I've learnt some women go for wealth and social status when it comes to a marriage partner so I decided to give up until I have money like Bill Gates.:exhausted Oh I forgot to mention my beard reminds them of a "caveman" and they want me to shave it off for them, this is another reason.
 
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Wa Alikum Assalaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh

why not being married till this moment?

cause the time of the one whom Allah had written for me didn`t come yet or maybe there is none for me ...Allah knows...and I am happy no matter what Alhamdulilah , cause I believe that whatever Allah had written for me is the best and it will be the best forever...All Praise, Thanks and Glory be to Allah ...

May Allah grant all the Muslims in this world his/her perfect match and if not in this world then in Al Firdaws which I am beging Allah to have mercy on us and make us enter it without being reckoning...Ameeeeeeeeen
 
My older brothers aren't married, because they don't have a degree yet. They are unable to support a wife.
 
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Asiyah3 said:
My older brothers aren't married, because they don't have a degree yet. They are unable to support a wife.
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If your brothers can visit my home I will introduce them to my friend, Mr "S", a religious Muslim brother who was born in poor family, doesn't have degree, but now has becomes a rich businessman. He has married, of course.

Don't worry, if we have a good intention to get married, Allah will open the way for us.
 
Debts and lack of money for me

I want a small wedding, just need to find someone with same view.

Big 30 coming up aswell
 
Salaam,


Asiyah3 said:
My older brothers aren't married, because they don't have a degree yet. They are unable to support a wife.
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You don't need a degree to support a wife. What you need is a job.

Mr.President said:
I dont wanna get into family politics !
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Same here.

noorseeker said:
I want a small wedding, just need to find someone with same view.
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I hate big weddings. It's stupid IMO. I know couples that spent over £10,000 to get married and get a divorce after two years.

Salahudeen said:
I've learnt some women go for wealth and social status when it comes to a marriage partner so I decided to give up until I have money like Bill Gates.:exhausted
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These type of women are pathetic ugh.

Oh I forgot to mention my beard reminds them of a "caveman" and they want me to shave it off for them, this is another reason.
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Tell them Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H) used to keep a beard. That should keep them quiet.

I'm personally sick of my culture.
 
Well, I'm doing well as far as income is concerned, but money can go away anytime. Second, my life is not easy. So far I've not been able to find a person who I feel is right for me - a person with patience and who can have good relationship. In short a woman with taqwa and not just on the surface. Pray for me, I find the right one who is good for me for this life and afterlife.
 
Salahudeen said:
Oh I forgot to mention my beard reminds them of a "caveman" and they want me to shave it off for them, this is another reason.
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You could always clean/trim/groom to make it less... caveman-ish...
 
:sl:

I heard a funny story from a friend the other day. There was a brother that had some close friends who were married, while he was single. They were very close friends, so after sometime the Brother finally got married. About a week later, people saw him chasing his friends with a stick. Someone stopped him and asked; 'hold on, aren't these your dear friends?' He replied, "NO!! they are my enemies! They call themselves my friends, Why did they hide from me the Joys of marriage and allowed me to remain single for that long!" :D

May Allah(swt) make it easy for us what is Halal and Protect us from the Haraam! Ameen!
 
i'd say it's a physical necessity for some - regardless of love or match etc - just to keep away from fitnah - then again - not everyone's the same, but anyone can derail at any time - so i'd say: she's gonna eat food and wear clothes anyway and so are you, so why not get married and eat food and wear clothes - if it doesn't work out - divorce nad remarry like the prophet's companions did - it was normal,
it's better than becoming like the people of sodom, or like what we see now.
 
/\ I disagree with you 100% there, securing a career and getting a good job were never the pre-requisites of marriage, while marriage is a part of faith. even slaves got married, companions of the prophet (pbuh) got married on the day of battle, I'm sure you'd agree that's not a stable worldly career, but it was a requirement of faith to fight evil promptings and urges.

The prophet (pbuh) once saw a woman and felt different, so he quickly went to visit his wife zainab who was tanning a piece of leather, he then advised his companions to immediately visit their wives if they felt different after seeing strange women.
How would you do that if you're unmarried?
Would you write a cv and get a good job?
Then get married and then go to your wife to dispel those thoughts?
I think you'd be a few months late and many youngsters succumb to temptations simply because this Muslim tradition of marrying early has been abandoned
 
We are slaves to the dogma that we should have a good paying job before we can even think of getting married. lol so cant help, man. :p
 
Tyrion said:


You could always clean/trim/groom to make it less... caveman-ish...
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It's actually very clean since I wash it 5 times a day, and it is tidy and neat, but they see the whole concept of having a beard as caveman-ish regardless of how tidy and groomed it is.
 
abz2000 said:
/\ I disagree with you 100% there, securing a career and getting a good job were never the pre-requisites of marriage, while marriage is a part of faith. even slaves got married, companions of the prophet (pbuh) got married on the day of battle, I'm sure you'd agree that's not a stable worldly career, but it was a requirement of faith to fight evil promptings and urges.

The prophet (pbuh) once saw a woman and felt different, so he quickly went to visit his wife zainab who was tanning a piece of leather, he then advised his companions to immediately visit their wives if they felt different after seeing strange women.
How would you do that if you're unmarried?
Would you write a cv and get a good job?
Then get married and then go to your wife to dispel those thoughts?
I think you'd be a few months late and many youngsters succumb to temptations simply because this Muslim tradition of marrying early has been abandoned
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I think it's because the standard of living was not so high in that time that men could easily provide for their wife's, I remember hearing they would live off the two black things, dates and I can't remember the other thing, every man today could provide a simple life style like they lived in the time of the prophet (saw) but that's not sufficient any more for most women. So marriage has become harder due to people wanting luxurious life styles.
 
Dunno, mine doesn't feel cavemanish - but then again, I've number 2d it a couple of years back (zarkawi style) and it feels stylish, and Muslims still recognise it on the streets as it is almost unique to Muslim youth, and not like that of the Jews or Christians (their's is long now).
 

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