losing my religion

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soldierof44

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there was a time when i grew up being such a believer. i honestly - believed that there is a God and his name is Allah - and i still do believe that- honestly. but I have come to the point where im seriously wondering if God cares - now i am not questioning his existence - i believe he does. but i believe he is very unjust. at least to me.

i am in struggle. and i understand that we have to struggle in life, but does it really need to be this much? i been away from zinah, alcohol , gambling and all the vices all life long - and here i am - still nowhere.
i been working to try and build a career and been saving to have a good life - cause i never complain about materialistic stuff - i think im content with what i have ( alhamdulilah?) at least on career is where i stand.
but is it worth it?

but its the part which the soul wants most that i just cant seem to find - i been seeking to find a woman all my life. and it seems impossible for me to find love. i am burning. i have strong desires and yet none of them are being met. while other people find love early in life - some even at 16- here i am- never knew love at my late 20s.
so loookin up for guidance i come up with realities - i am above average in style - i have a fine face but my nose is too big cause i crashed my bike ( all these unfortunate things happen to me of course) , but i believe women are mostly avoiding me cause of my height - 170 cm. all the scientific data point this out.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/... average, women have a,8 inches (21cm) taller.

how could God put me in such disadvantage? why cant I be taller when it was so easy for him to just make me taller? why has he given height to so may wherei am from the average is over 180 cm, and i am so much smaller? what did i ever do to deserve this? height is 100 percent genetic so dont come at me blaming that its my fault cause its not.

what more does this person need to do to just have one woman? to marry and be loved and have kids? but i guess things just dont go this way. i feel completely betrayed by Allah itself, and its been a long time since i have left practicing or going to the mosque. the bare idea of being religious ( except for when i fast in ramadan) just makes me annoyed - when years ago i used to be very practicing.
after all , can u be practicing to a God you don't love and trust at all?

if you have anything to say - do that - if this thread doesnt turn me around - i promise you i am leaving. i cant take this anymore
 
i still havent done zinah tho. i dont watch porn. i still am clean as a person. im just very secular now. and i dont pray or anything like that.
 
all the work i put on- just to return to an empty house. f my life. i wish i could perish
 
soldierof44 said:
there was a time when i grew up being such a believer. i honestly - believed that there is a God and his name is Allah - and i still do believe that- honestly. but I have come to the point where im seriously wondering if God cares - now i am not questioning his existence - i believe he does. but i believe he is very unjust. at least to me.

i am in struggle. and i understand that we have to struggle in life, but does it really need to be this much? i been away from zinah, alcohol , gambling and all the vices all life long - and here i am - still nowhere.
i been working to try and build a career and been saving to have a good life - cause i never complain about materialistic stuff - i think im content with what i have ( alhamdulilah?) at least on career is where i stand.
but is it worth it?

but its the part which the soul wants most that i just cant seem to find - i been seeking to find a woman all my life. and it seems impossible for me to find love. i am burning. i have strong desires and yet none of them are being met. while other people find love early in life - some even at 16- here i am- never knew love at my late 20s.
so loookin up for guidance i come up with realities - i am above average in style - i have a fine face but my nose is too big cause i crashed my bike ( all these unfortunate things happen to me of course) , but i believe women are mostly avoiding me cause of my height - 170 cm. all the scientific data point this out.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/... average, women have a,8 inches (21cm) taller.

how could God put me in such disadvantage? why cant I be taller when it was so easy for him to just make me taller? why has he given height to so may wherei am from the average is over 180 cm, and i am so much smaller? what did i ever do to deserve this? height is 100 percent genetic so dont come at me blaming that its my fault cause its not.

what more does this person need to do to just have one woman? to marry and be loved and have kids? but i guess things just dont go this way. i feel completely betrayed by Allah itself, and its been a long time since i have left practicing or going to the mosque. the bare idea of being religious ( except for when i fast in ramadan) just makes me annoyed - when years ago i used to be very practicing.
after all , can u be practicing to a God you don't love and trust at all?

if you have anything to say - do that - if this thread doesnt turn me around - i promise you i am leaving. i cant take this anymore
Click to expand...

Do not despair brother. i feel the same way some times.

all i am saying to counteract the was was and negativity is :

i was born a muslim, will die a muslim believing in the 5 pillars and 6 articles of faith in islam
and i always prompt myself to remember the unfortunate to re-engage that feeling of gratefulness that my life could have been a lot worse.

i know its not a happy content life... but i feel we have no choice but to take each day as it comes, continue praying and trying to improve ourselves in knowledge / prepare ourselves for the afterlife
yes it is sad, im in a similar situation to you and i keep saying to myself, "don't give up" as we dont know what is around the corner..., people of similar age or later in life have emerged successfully in raising a family

it is sad and i feel a lot of pity, not just for myself but many others who are still not married or even divorced. Being divorced has its own set of traumas associated with it, it is difficult.

Keep praying bro. and dont give up

please remember me and my family in your duas. Jazak Allah Khair.
 
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If you knew this is a hormonal issue more than a faith issue, you wouldn't leave the guidance.

Your vitamin d and vitamin b complex levels are low. People with vitamin deficiencies have low serotonin (happy hormone) levels.

Don't leave your faith. Make Duas to Allah for what you want, then start a healthy diet filled with vegetables, fruits and proteins. Go to the gym. Build yourself to be the man you want to be and make Duas to Allah so He makes your progress quicker.

When you become that man with health and wealth, you will easily find the woman you want.
 
soldierof44 said:
there was a time when i grew up being such a believer. i honestly - believed that there is a God and his name is Allah - and i still do believe that- honestly. but I have come to the point where im seriously wondering if God cares - now i am not questioning his existence - i believe he does. but i believe he is very unjust. at least to me.

i am in struggle. and i understand that we have to struggle in life, but does it really need to be this much? i been away from zinah, alcohol , gambling and all the vices all life long - and here i am - still nowhere.
i been working to try and build a career and been saving to have a good life - cause i never complain about materialistic stuff - i think im content with what i have ( alhamdulilah?) at least on career is where i stand.
but is it worth it?

but its the part which the soul wants most that i just cant seem to find - i been seeking to find a woman all my life. and it seems impossible for me to find love. i am burning. i have strong desires and yet none of them are being met. while other people find love early in life - some even at 16- here i am- never knew love at my late 20s.
so loookin up for guidance i come up with realities - i am above average in style - i have a fine face but my nose is too big cause i crashed my bike ( all these unfortunate things happen to me of course) , but i believe women are mostly avoiding me cause of my height - 170 cm. all the scientific data point this out.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/... average, women have a,8 inches (21cm) taller.

how could God put me in such disadvantage? why cant I be taller when it was so easy for him to just make me taller? why has he given height to so may wherei am from the average is over 180 cm, and i am so much smaller? what did i ever do to deserve this? height is 100 percent genetic so dont come at me blaming that its my fault cause its not.

what more does this person need to do to just have one woman? to marry and be loved and have kids? but i guess things just dont go this way. i feel completely betrayed by Allah itself, and its been a long time since i have left practicing or going to the mosque. the bare idea of being religious ( except for when i fast in ramadan) just makes me annoyed - when years ago i used to be very practicing.
after all , can u be practicing to a God you don't love and trust at all?

if you have anything to say - do that - if this thread doesnt turn me around - i promise you i am leaving. i cant take this anymore
Click to expand...

Walaikumsalam

Brother, Allah has not made humans to make their life easier. He has made humans to test them in their love for Allah. He tests some by making life easy and some by making life difficult. Even the Prophets had to face the same tests. Prophet Suleman could control even jinns and he could control the birds and animals. Whereas Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) has to face a boycott for 3 years without food and water. And throughout his life Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) had hardly got to eat food. He used to be hungry for 2-3 days without food. Our job is to keep trust in Allah and move ahead brother, inshaAllah if not this life, our hear after will be better.

And just focus on building career. InshaAllah some girl will definitely find you. Try to change your approach to finding the girl. Try to approach different methods, meet new people. 170 cm is a reasonable height and inshaAllah its nothing to worry about.
 
yes i will be checking those mineralsd and vitamins but what i long more for is the female love. lets not cope around, justr like food and watyer the body needs seggsual activities to be in peace. and some people have it so easy yet i have many problems to reach love. im tired

- - - Updated - - -

yes bro but i notice for some people its so easy even if thnings are rough. and sometimes those peope dont even deserve it yet i see Allahs blessings on them. all i wisdhed for was to be 10 cm taller, was that too much for Allah to give me?
 
what kills me is that men with ill intentions got no problems with women. and women lust over them. meanwhile me, just cause of my height probably, am clueless when it comes to women at this age. this really sucks and u tellin me to be patient when theres nothing to be patient about.its over
 
soldierof44 said:
what kills me is that men with ill intentions got no problems with women. and women lust over them. meanwhile me, just cause of my height probably, am clueless when it comes to women at this age. this really sucks and u tellin me to be patient when theres nothing to be patient about.its over
Click to expand...

:salam:

Allah says in Quran.

Wicked women are for wicked men, and wicked men are for wicked women. And virtuous women are for virtuous men, and virtuous men are for virtuous women. The virtuous are innocent of what the wicked say. They will have forgiveness and an honourable provision.[SUP] (Quran 24:26)
[/SUP]
Click to expand...

Brother, don't be jealous seeing people with ill intentions. They will only get such women in return.

Between, what is your age. And I didn't ask you to be patient on marriage. I just asked to be patient on what Allah has given you. And height is never a problem, there are always women below your height, you will be satisfied with your height look for them,. If you don't find one in your country, you can find in another country. Today word has become so small, start exploring it. There are lot of opportunities.

You can message me directly for personal assistance. I can help you completely come out of this problem inshaAllah
 
I just ecovered from duhayma Alhamdulillah after its strike thats happening to majority of muslims struck with more trials


It's all very common -know many stories...such people have big rewards in hereafter- With this mentality,we can not afford to give up on imaan-

Allah can show dreans if Paradise,everyone...He can shpw our place un Jannah in a live view,not just a dream & send us beautiful spouses - all it takes to persevere & do good deeds.

Sin?Repent
Feeling overburdened?Take seklies,watch your fav tv show,spend time near nature or read your fav books etc.
Career is very important- Focusing on with duas & due effort brings wonders.

We need to try & try - This world was never meant for happiness ,fhose who have it all...don't look at them.Make your own goals,work on them,compete only with yourself,love yourself.You got all in you.Try to discover ...start praying - i have my low days but about qaza,i rush before it gets qaza.Not always but it happens

Actually i had a dream 2 weeks ago...seen a guy with a personality (quality guy from face)but short height.Later i understand that theres no deprivation for anyone,short,talller,white,brown,fat or slender.

Please ALLAH according to best of your capacity & He Ta'ala will please you!

I repent from being paranoid at times too but i believe He "understands"!

Take care- I'm 34 & my life is between highs & lows,woth a big transitional phase.


I'm trying to stay in Deen - didn't do it all in teens & 20's to go to hell...No,I'm resistabt & changed my focus & since my marriage is not working iut like many Muslim women out there,I'm focused on my career,a start up Consultancy & I'm so happy to be working whoch i never thought un my wildest thoughts!

Don't despair- We all are having our shares if tortures,pain,trials & feeling disliked.

DON'T forget to take a screenshot of this post! :-)
 
Last edited:
tried to send u a personal message but it aint working.
hello bro

first of all thanks for reaching out
but i dont think my problems can be fixed unless i become slightly taller.
bro i seepeople who are basic and have no problems with women just cause they taller. i swear i have seen it. what kills me is the injustice Allah has put on me by being short. people litterally see me as a child or a teenager..
he made women respect only tall guysa, and made me short. this isnt ok. a lot of injustcas has happened in my life. i been through a lot over something i cant control/
also lost my mom to cancer at asge 18, had a difficult childhoopd and teenage hood cause we werent rich. when everyone was having fun, i was hangiion out alone.

bro and the most brutal thing is that for Allah its easy to giv me 10 more cm but he just didnt want to, now im way away from puberty and am stuck like this forever. this is what caused me to leave practicing cause the God i pray to doesnt lkisten and already gives more to those who dont even care He exists. meanwhgile i put effort and pray and still limited and over. this is why i dont even feel like goin to jummah let alone be more practicing.
 
You said you were a believer -but I not sure what you believed. It didn't say anywhere in the Quran or the advice from Islam, that as long as you can get what you want, then you can be happy. The test is that regardless of what you don't have, you still accept Allah as he is above all that (your desires), how can you be a Servant of Allah, when you complain you don't get this and this?? Was there not a story of a Muslim in the past living his wife to go to war even if they didn't procreate etc.

What do you know of marriage and love?? Love in islam as per the Quran, is for believing Men and believing women -not for a little bit believing. Was there not a story of a trick played on a woman, who said to the Prophet Muhammed peace be upon him, that I ask Allah to save me from you, and so he didn't pursue the marriage. Frankly who do you think you are, to set the conditions to Allah when it is he who has already set those conditions?? Even an angel wouldn't care about you, let alone a woman, as accepting Allah, regardless of what we don't have, is important, if you can't do that, then your wasting everyone's time. Frankly you ain't worth it.

Nobody is going to say on the Day of Judgement to Allah, I wasn't loved and now pity me, Allah isn't going to be critical of anyone if they didn't love you, that is not your right. As long as people are not committing a crime, Allah is never going to take anyone to account for not liking you personally. You are weak and if it wasn't your height and it was something else, you'll be blaming that too. So your holding Allah to your own standards, when you can't even keep your own body functioning. He created you and now you wish to complain. It is no difference like some people who wish they had a different mother- so what they think of saying to Allah, that someone else should given birth to them?? How low does it get?? So your not going to be happy with Allah unless you get married - so here you're value of your relationship with Allah is poor. No Prophet would ever choose a woman over Allah and it isn't for any other religious person to do so.

There doesn't seem much fear of Allah, the Day of Judgement and also amazing of what is happening in the world today, with now the upcoming financial crisis-here you need to hold steadfast in Islam, as these countries will be no more and the coming of the Dajjal. As what are you going to do then?? Accept food from the Dajjal because Allah isn't giving you any at that time?? This is why we fast in the month of Ramadan to increase discipline. Yes, it is good that you actions have not been sinful, but your mind is already wrong for saying what you had said-and this is something that you will 100% disown on the Day of Judgement.
 
Edited:Typos

I just Recovered from duhayma Alhamdulillah after its strike thats happening to majority of muslims struck with more trials


It's all very common -know many stories...such people have big rewards in hereafter- With this mentality,we can not afford to give up on imaan-

Allah can show dreams ofParadise,everyone...He can show our place in Jannah in a live view,not just a dream & send us beautiful spouses - all it takes to persevere & do good deeds.

Sin?Repent
Feeling overburdened?Take seklies,watch your fav tv show,spend time near nature or read your fav books etc.
Career is very important- Focusing on with duas & due effort brings wonders.

We need to try & try - This world was never meant for happiness ,those who have it all...don't look at them.Make your own goals,work on them,compete only with yourself,love yourself.You got all in you.Try to discover ...start praying - i have my low days but about qaza,i rush before it gets qaza.Not always but it happens

Actually i had a dream 2 weeks ago...seen a guy with a personality (quality guy from face)but short height.Later i understand that theres no deprivation for anyone,short,taller,white,brown,fat or slender.

Please ALLAH according to best of your capacity & He Ta'ala will please you!

I repent from being paranoid at times too but i believe He "understands"!

I'm 34 & my life is between highs & lows,with a big transitional phase.


I'm trying to stay in Deen - didn't do it all in teens & 20's to go to hell...No,I'm resistant & changed my focus & since my marriage is not working like many Muslim women out there,I'm focused on my career,a start up Consultancy & I'm so happy to be working which i never thought in my wildest thoughts!

Don't despair- We all are having our shares of tortures,pain,trials & feeling disliked.

DON'T forget to take a screenshot of this post! :-)
 
Last edited:
soldierof44 said:
there was a time when i grew up being such a believer. i honestly - believed that there is a God and his name is Allah - and i still do believe that- honestly. but I have come to the point where im seriously wondering if God cares - now i am not questioning his existence - i believe he does. but i believe he is very unjust. at least to me.

i am in struggle. and i understand that we have to struggle in life, but does it really need to be this much? i been away from zinah, alcohol , gambling and all the vices all life long - and here i am - still nowhere.
i been working to try and build a career and been saving to have a good life - cause i never complain about materialistic stuff - i think im content with what i have ( alhamdulilah?) at least on career is where i stand.
but is it worth it?

but its the part which the soul wants most that i just cant seem to find - i been seeking to find a woman all my life. and it seems impossible for me to find love. i am burning. i have strong desires and yet none of them are being met. while other people find love early in life - some even at 16- here i am- never knew love at my late 20s.
so loookin up for guidance i come up with realities - i am above average in style - i have a fine face but my nose is too big cause i crashed my bike ( all these unfortunate things happen to me of course) , but i believe women are mostly avoiding me cause of my height - 170 cm. all the scientific data point this out.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/... average, women have a,8 inches (21cm) taller.

how could God put me in such disadvantage? why cant I be taller when it was so easy for him to just make me taller? why has he given height to so may wherei am from the average is over 180 cm, and i am so much smaller? what did i ever do to deserve this? height is 100 percent genetic so dont come at me blaming that its my fault cause its not.

what more does this person need to do to just have one woman? to marry and be loved and have kids? but i guess things just dont go this way. i feel completely betrayed by Allah itself, and its been a long time since i have left practicing or going to the mosque. the bare idea of being religious ( except for when i fast in ramadan) just makes me annoyed - when years ago i used to be very practicing.
after all , can u be practicing to a God you don't love and trust at all?
Click to expand...

If you find my post offensive please ignore it.
I highly doubt you are purely being rejected based on your height. Yes everyone wants good looks, height is criteria now a days.Suppose you are taller and you got a girl to marry but how logical is that someone has chosen you just because you are tall.Do you really think it will make your life happy in a long run. What about the other ctieteria? Marriage doesn't work out only on the basis of height.
Have you asked them why they rejected you ? Did any of them said you are too short.Overall personality matters and probably you haven't figure it out yet what is wrong with you.
Now coming to the point other got beutiful one and you didn't?
They look happy because they are content with whatever they have got.No one gets perfect everyone compromise in one way or other.
Look around there are people who are born with disabilities, they are struggling to survive on daily basis forget about marriage. Isn't your life is better than them?
Taller people struggle too to get a husband or wife.
I have a cousine she is around 5'8"_5'9 tall and she is a doctor.She had set high standard for herself and she deserve that.She wanted a guy of her height or taller and a doctor too.She rejected guy who is a dcotr but shorter than her.Soon she realized height doesn't matter so gave up height ctieteria.But people did rejected her for being too tall.Girl of her height would be consider very tall in my country.she would look odd one out in the crowd of women's section whenever we had wedding ceremony etc.

Eventually she gave up crieteria of doctor too.All she wanted guy who has a decent background and earning enough to support a family.yet she struggled mostly due to her height.Finally she got married and she got most of the thing which she wanted and she is happy whatever she got.
All her siblings are tall.Her elder sister got married and her husband is bit shorter than her she always wear flattest sleeper possible to avoid looking taller than her husband.
His brother is around 6'1"-6' 2" got married to girl who is just around 5'2".He has no issue with that.
Ask yourself if you would have been that tall would you marry a short girl ?

soldierof44 said:
if you have anything to say - do that - if this thread doesnt turn me around - i promise you i am leaving. i cant take this anymore
Click to expand...


You will have to deal with much bigger problem if you manage to get married.Marriage is not the end of the world.If you loose your iman over such lame thing I don't know how you are going to face problems in future.If you loose your iman over this you will be ultimate looser in both duniya as well aakhira.
 
soldierof44 said:
tried to send u a personal message but it aint working.
hello bro

first of all thanks for reaching out
but i dont think my problems can be fixed unless i become slightly taller.
bro i seepeople who are basic and have no problems with women just cause they taller. i swear i have seen it. what kills me is the injustice Allah has put on me by being short. people litterally see me as a child or a teenager..
he made women respect only tall guysa, and made me short. this isnt ok. a lot of injustcas has happened in my life. i been through a lot over something i cant control/
also lost my mom to cancer at asge 18, had a difficult childhoopd and teenage hood cause we werent rich. when everyone was having fun, i was hangiion out alone.

bro and the most brutal thing is that for Allah its easy to giv me 10 more cm but he just didnt want to, now im way away from puberty and am stuck like this forever. this is what caused me to leave practicing cause the God i pray to doesnt lkisten and already gives more to those who dont even care He exists. meanwhgile i put effort and pray and still limited and over. this is why i dont even feel like goin to jummah let alone be more practicing.
Click to expand...

:salam:

I think you need 25 posts to be able to send message.

Bro, I don't have parents as well. lost them both a few years ago. I was not married then. No relative spoke to me in a good way as they used to do previously when my parents were alive. As they thought, I would ask them for help with money and other things. As I was jobless. I was not having money to eat food for 1-2 days. I had to stay hungry like this for a few months until I overcame depression. Basically, I was rejected by my relatives and friends. I had to live for few months in isolation, alone, hungry and depressed. But alhamdulillah, never I felt it was a punishment for me. I just believed, its a test from Allah. Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) and his companions have seen much worst scenarios in their life.,

Once was when Khalid Bin Walid was traveling to Rome to fight in the path of Allah. People didn't have food to eat nor water to drink. They would see the desert and they would feel as though water is there and they would run after it. But their wont be any water. Few people died in this process. Imagine, when they did all this and still fought in the path of Allah. You are leaving Allah, just because your height is 10 cm less.
 
As salam alaikum

You need to do more zikr
Maybe 100 times la ilaha illallah

Do dua

Have patience in prayer

Never give up hope in Allah
Even if you do major sin

Think about the mercy of Allah

Make wudu then say dua after reciting zikr

Don't give up

You see have certain faith in God

He will help you

Wa laikum
 
Lol why are you coping so Hard?

I see people who dont believe at all, even communists, who get
Beautiful women jsut cause they have the right
Measurements.
Height natters in attraction and if we say it doesnt we are lying ourselves.
You cant force anyone to like you. Ibeen always trying my best
And all i get is rejection. Meanwhile i dont hold super high standards for
Women when it comes to height.

We keep ignoring the physical needs of our bodies, and the physical world
Attraction cant be forced on a woman and wharever ithey want
I dont seem to have it, even if i have the purest intentions.
And pls dont come st me with this threatning BS, if you wanna threaten
Someone go join isis my friend.
 
Well i wouldnt mind dating a woman shorter than me ,but even shorter women
Seem to prefer taller men. Its very shallow i know ,but can you bring
Logic what women are attracted to? They are attracted to it and its a fact.
Like i said to the guy above ,whatever women want i dont seem to have it.
I am a hardworking man who got rejected many times, and i put a lot of effort
Into my looks and hygiene. But i have failed so much i might even have given
Up on trying to find someone all together.
 
soldierof44 said:
Well i wouldnt mind dating a woman shorter than me ,but even shorter women
Seem to prefer taller men. Its very shallow i know ,but can you bring
Logic what women are attracted to? They are attracted to it and its a fact.
Like i said to the guy above ,whatever women want i dont seem to have it.
I am a hardworking man who got rejected many times, and i put a lot of effort
Into my looks and hygiene. But i have failed so much i might even have given
Up on trying to find someone all together.
Click to expand...

I mean to say very short women.There are so many women struggling to get married as they are very short. Would you marry such girl ? They are being rejected even though they have all good qualities but they are not very good looking or very short.


Not everyone is attracted to looks. Maybe when they are young they are attracted to looks and as they are getting older they start giving preference over other qualities. There are people who give preference to character nature etc.
 

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