Muslim women at home

[Halima]

Please understand that there was never any suggestion of all Muslim women staying in their houses, just some.
I was told this by a health visitor, who's job it is to check mother's and children's health - often in clinics in the health centre.
I have no grounds to assume that she was lying to me - she has no reason to do so.

I understand, I'm not accusing you or the person who said that believes it. However, if I sounded like that I'm sorry, I was just trying to get my point across. I also understand she wouldnt lie to you, b/c she probably could've heard it from someone else I don't know Allahu Al'm.

I understand and respect the reasons you give.

Peace

I am impressed by the way how you brought out this topic most people would've directly accused muslim women staying in their homes as if we are already oppressed

 

[glo]

Peace Glo:

lol why does it sound scary? Of course you would be allowed. I guess I shouldn't speak for all Mosques, but the local one here was extremely wonderful and the people are so, so kind, mashallah

Try it :happy:

Peace,
Hana

Dear Hana

Thank you for your reply.

I would like to say something, and be very honest here. Perhaps it will be of help to some, and perhaps it will encourage some to search their hearts.

It is lovely that you paint such a positive picture of visiting a mosque.
The community I am meeting here ( in an anonymous cyber space), is nothing but warm and welcoming!

But it does not reflect how the Muslims in my community come across. Face to face in the street I experience neither warmth nor welcome. What I see is people who try to keep themselves to themselves, with as little contact with non-believers as possible.

I have tried for some time to understand and relate to my Muslim neighbours better (just ask Rabi'ya) - but I don't know how to break through into that stoney-faced community!
Women seem to speak very little English and seem to have little motivation to learn. They are also usually huddles together in small groups, speaking Urdu. Can you imagine how difficult it is to approach women like that?
Speaking to Muslim men seems to be a complete no-no.

I have been taught that to make friends you smile and greet the other person - somehow that only seems to meet with suspicion with my Muslim neighbours.

Can you see that it will be a loooooong way before I feel brave enough to do something like visit a mosque?!

Brothers and sisters, search your hearts with regards to your dealing with non-believers! I know you find us strange, and don't agree with our ways - but if we are to become friends and learn from each other, we will have to become apporachable to each other!

 

[glo]

I am impressed by the way how you brought out this topic most people would've directly accused muslim women staying in their homes as if we are already oppressed

Thank you for that comment, Hamila!

I don't think I can accuse people unless I have grounds for any accusation!I am just here to find out stuff.

I think most misunderstandings occur because we come from very different cultural backgrounds and interpret things differently.

 

[*Hana*]

It is lovely that you paint such a positive picture of visiting a mosque.
The community I am meeting here ( in an anonymous cyber space), is nothing but warm and welcoming!

But it does not reflect how the Muslims in my community come across. Face to face in the street I experience neither warmth nor welcome. What I see is people who try to keep themselves to themselves, with as little contact with non-believers as possible.

Peace Glo:

I'm really sorry to hear of your experiences. It is the complete opposite here. I guess each community is different. I'm sure you understand the difficulty of new immigrants and the feeling of being accepted and this probably plays a role in the "standoffish" (if that's a word lol) attitudes of some. Also, the nervousness felt by many regarding potential backlash because of the state of the world today probably plays a bigger role.

I have heard of others that shared your experiences, but they seem to be the exception and it's a real shame. My personal experience, both in a predominately Muslim country while I was Christian and my experiences in my own area have been wonderful. In Egypt, the women were very quick to approach me and try their best to communicate, (although, many could speak very good english), invited us for dinner and to visit. You can't imagine the kindness shown to us. In my area, the women are more shy in places like the malls, but friendly. However, at the Mosque, they all came over to welcome me and talk to me, gave me phone numbers, invited me to visit, etc.

You'll just have to come here and I'll take you to the Mosque. :happy:

Unfortunately I don't know your community so I can't really offer any real suggestions. It certainly seems that, for whatever reasons, there are barriers between the people in the community. Perhaps you can approach a known and respected Muslim in the community and suggest working on breaking these barriers by getting involved in a community event of some sort?

Growing up in the west and reverting is far different from someone immigrating from a predominately Muslim country and trying to make a new life here. Perhaps some of our bros and sis on the forum who have made that transition could offer a much better insight as to why this might happen or what these people might be feeling.

Peace,
Hana

 

[glo]

Peace Glo:
I'm sure you understand the difficulty of new immigrants and the feeling of being accepted and this probably plays a role in the "standoffish" (if that's a word lol) attitudes of some.

The people I am talking have lived in the UK for two generations, and are not new immigrants.

Also, the nervousness felt by many regarding potential backlash because of the state of the world today probably plays a bigger role.

I understand that. All the more reason to try and find common ground, don't you think?

I have heard of others that shared your experiences, but they seem to be the exception and it's a real shame. My personal experience, both in a predominately Muslim country while I was Christian and my experiences in my own area have been wonderful. In Egypt, the women were very quick to approach me and try their best to communicate, (although, many could speak very good english), invited us for dinner and to visit. You can't imagine the kindness shown to us. In my area, the women are more shy in places like the malls, but friendly. However, at the Mosque, they all came over to welcome me and talk to me, gave me phone numbers, invited me to visit, etc.

Cool!

Perhaps some of our bros and sis on the forum who have made that transition could offer a much better insight as to why this might happen or what these people might be feeling.

Peace,
Hana

I hope so. I'm waiting!

 

[*Hana*]

The people I am talking have lived in the UK for two generations, and are not new immigrants.

Ohh, I assumed new immigrants because the women were speaking in Urdu. If they've been there that long, I'm sure they can speak english as well.

I understand that. All the more reason to try and find common ground, don't you think?

Well, not necessarily. It depends on what side of the community you're on. You looking at Muslims from the outside in, can be far different from what the Muslim sees looking from the inside out, and vice versa. Probably, the best thing is to be up front and go ask directly, "why?"

As you've already said, you have a fear of approaching the mosque and it seems you feel somewhat intimidated based on your visual perception. Perhaps their feelings are no different.

Peace,
Hana

 

[Umm Yoosuf]

Visit the mosque???
That sounds a bit scary! Would I be allowed? oh:

glo

Hi

Like sister Hana said of course you're allowed

In my local mosque i see many non-muslims espically women inquiring about Islam. People there are very friendly and welcoming. They provide you with free literature as well.

 

[searchingsoul]

Sounds like some men allow their wives to leave the home and some do not. Is your husband supposed to approve the locations you may freely visit? I wasn't aware of this.

 

[...]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: If any of your women asks permission to go to the mosque, don't stop her from going.

Could u please give a reference to this hadith, i've looked for a hadith like this for ages.
thanx in advance. :thankyou:

 

[SirZubair]

As for women going to mosques,yes they are allowed.

Any man that stops his wife from going to the Mosque is taking away her god-given right,so he is sinning by stopping her from praying at the mosque.

 

[Umm Yoosuf]

Could u please give a reference to this hadith, i've looked for a hadith like this for ages.
thanx in advance. :thankyou:

Women's Right to Attend Mosques

Narrated Ibn Umar: The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, "Allow women to go to the Mosques at night." (Bukhari Volume 2, Book 13, Number 22)

Narrated Ibn Umar: One of the wives of Umar (bin Al-Khattab) used to offer the Fajr and the 'Isha' prayer in congregation in the Mosque. She was asked why she had come out for the prayer as she knew that Umar disliked it, and he has great ghaira (self-respect). She replied, "What prevents him from stopping me from this act?" The other replied, "The statement of Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) : 'Do not stop Allah's women-slave from going to Allah s Mosques' prevents him." (Bukhari Volume 2, Book 13, Number 23)

Ibn 'Umar reported: Grant permission to women for going to the mosque in the night. His son who was called Waqid said: Then they would make mischief. He (the narrator) said: He thumped his (son's) chest and said: I am narrating to you the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him), and you say: No! (Sahih Muslim Book 004, Number 0890)

Ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Do not deprive women of their share of the mosques, when they seek permission from you. Bilal said: By Allah, we would certainly prevent them. 'Abdullah said: I say that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said it and you say: We would certainly prevent them! (Sahih Muslim Book 004, Number 0891)

Yahya related to me from Malik from Yahya ibn Said that Atika bint Zayd ibn Amr ibn Nufayl, the wife of Umar ibn al-Khattab, used to ask Umar ibn al-Khattab for permission to go to the mosque. He would keep silent, so she would say, "By Allah, I will go out, unless you forbid me," and he would not forbid her. (Sunan Abu Dawud Book 14, Number 14.5.14)

http://www.islamfortoday.com/womens_rights_references.htm

 

[amirah_87]

Women's Right to Attend Mosques

Narrated Ibn Umar: The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, "Allow women to go to the Mosques at night." (Bukhari Volume 2, Book 13, Number 22)

Narrated Ibn Umar: One of the wives of Umar (bin Al-Khattab) used to offer the Fajr and the 'Isha' prayer in congregation in the Mosque. She was asked why she had come out for the prayer as she knew that Umar disliked it, and he has great ghaira (self-respect). She replied, "What prevents him from stopping me from this act?" The other replied, "The statement of Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) : 'Do not stop Allah's women-slave from going to Allah s Mosques' prevents him." (Bukhari Volume 2, Book 13, Number 23)

Ibn 'Umar reported: Grant permission to women for going to the mosque in the night. His son who was called Waqid said: Then they would make mischief. He (the narrator) said: He thumped his (son's) chest and said: I am narrating to you the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him), and you say: No! (Sahih Muslim Book 004, Number 0890)

Ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Do not deprive women of their share of the mosques, when they seek permission from you. Bilal said: By Allah, we would certainly prevent them. 'Abdullah said: I say that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said it and you say: We would certainly prevent them! (Sahih Muslim Book 004, Number 0891)

Yahya related to me from Malik from Yahya ibn Said that Atika bint Zayd ibn Amr ibn Nufayl, the wife of Umar ibn al-Khattab, used to ask Umar ibn al-Khattab for permission to go to the mosque. He would keep silent, so she would say, "By Allah, I will go out, unless you forbid me," and he would not forbid her. (Sunan Abu Dawud Book 14, Number 14.5.14)

http://www.islamfortoday.com/womens_rights_references.htm

salaams

i know some brothers who stop their wives from even going to the masjid !!!!:heated: :heated:

 

[Mawaddah]

^ yeah, even after they know these hadiths right, Well that's between them and Allah then.

I agree with most of the sisters on the forum, That sometimes the woman just doesn't leave her home because she prefers to stay there. Maybe she is a homey person and her husband is seeing to her education etc.
However, if a woman wishes to go out to seek knowledge then the husband should not forbid her from doing so, especially if He is not capable of teaching her this knowledge himself.
Unless of course the situations in which His wife will be in are un Islamic then that's a different matter.

 

[julie sarri]

i am a stay at home wife this doesent mean i am not aloud out i just like staying in i go out shopping and see my family and i will be visting the majid this weekend inshaallah my husband byes me all the books to read on islam so i teach my self with his help i also worked for 12 years but this lead to stress and ill health it was in a non muslim work place sooooooooooo much back bitting going on i couldent handel it so now i am not working but if a job came up to work for a muslim company then maybe i would go back to work

 

[...]

Jazakallah khair sis Al-Mu'minah.

 

[Umm Yoosuf]

But sometimes the problem is not the brothers but us (sisters). Firstly its not compulsory for the women to attend the masjid to pray. In fact its better for her to pray at home.

Once the wife of Abu Hamid Sa'adi pleaded with the Prophet to be allowed to attend his mosque (the Prophet's Mosque in Madina) as she was very fond of offering prayers behind him. He told her,


"What you say is right, but it is better for you to offer prayer in a closed room than in a courtyard. Your prayer in a courtyard is better than on a verandah, and your offering prayer in the mosque of your own locality is better than your coming to our mosque for it." Thereafter she appointed a room for offering prayers and continued offering prayers there till her death, never even once going to the mosque.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) encouraging women to offer their prayers inside their houses: "The best mosques for women are the inner parts of their houses."

http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/humanrelations/womeninislam/womeninsociety.html#mosque

And secondly look at how women dress when atteding the Masjid. They waer make-up, perfum and dress seductivly subhan Allah. Are sisters not aware of strictly observing the various restrictions imposed upon them by the Shari'ah?

This is what 'A'isha said regarding the women of her time

"Had the customs and manners which women have adopted since the Prophet's death been there in his lifetime, he too would have prevented them."


What about our time?! Seriously its beyond belief how women come to the Masjid these days! Espically during Eid, sisters all dressed in bright, red and yellow etc clothes, perfeum, make up. Astaghfirullah!

 

[searchingsoul]

i am a stay at home wife this doesent mean i am not aloud out i just like staying in i go out shopping and see my family and i will be visting the majid this weekend inshaallah my husband byes me all the books to read on islam so i teach my self with his help i also worked for 12 years but this lead to stress and ill health it was in a non muslim work place sooooooooooo much back bitting going on i couldent handel it so now i am not working but if a job came up to work for a muslim company then maybe i would go back to work

Do women like yourself have to ask their husbands if they can leave the house or is it just done out of respect?

 

[Mawaddah]

What about our time?! Seriously its beyond belief how women come to the Masjid these days! Espically during Eid, sisters all dressed in bright, red and yellow etc clothes, perfeum, make up. Astaghfirullah!

Precisely. See that's where the question comes in, Because the Hadeeth is there that the Prophet peace be upon him said not to forbid women from the masjid, does that mean that the Husband can just let them go in any condition? Of course not!

There is a hadeeth in which Rasululllah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said " Whichever woman has scented herself with Bakhuur (inscense) then she should not pray Isha in congregation with us "

And also, Another hadeeth in which Rasulullah said " If a woman wears sweet scents and leaves her house and her scent is smelt by a man, then it is as if she had fornicated "

So these women who are going to the masjid with all their perfumes and makeup and fancy flashy clothes are definitely going against Islamic rulings, and the Husband has all right to keep his wife at home and forbid her from going to the masjid if this is what she intends to do.

 

[amirah_87]

yeah true say maw' ..and have you seen the abaayah's these days , they're makin' them all fashionable n' flashy....when one of the conditions of the hijaab are for it not to be beautified in any way.

 

[Samira_01]

Women's Right to Attend Mosques

Narrated Ibn Umar: The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, "Allow women to go to the Mosques at night." (Bukhari Volume 2, Book 13, Number 22)

Narrated Ibn Umar: One of the wives of Umar (bin Al-Khattab) used to offer the Fajr and the 'Isha' prayer in congregation in the Mosque. She was asked why she had come out for the prayer as she knew that Umar disliked it, and he has great ghaira (self-respect). She replied, "What prevents him from stopping me from this act?" The other replied, "The statement of Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) : 'Do not stop Allah's women-slave from going to Allah s Mosques' prevents him." (Bukhari Volume 2, Book 13, Number 23)

Ibn 'Umar reported: Grant permission to women for going to the mosque in the night. His son who was called Waqid said: Then they would make mischief. He (the narrator) said: He thumped his (son's) chest and said: I am narrating to you the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him), and you say: No! (Sahih Muslim Book 004, Number 0890)

Ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Do not deprive women of their share of the mosques, when they seek permission from you. Bilal said: By Allah, we would certainly prevent them. 'Abdullah said: I say that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said it and you say: We would certainly prevent them! (Sahih Muslim Book 004, Number 0891)

Yahya related to me from Malik from Yahya ibn Said that Atika bint Zayd ibn Amr ibn Nufayl, the wife of Umar ibn al-Khattab, used to ask Umar ibn al-Khattab for permission to go to the mosque. He would keep silent, so she would say, "By Allah, I will go out, unless you forbid me," and he would not forbid her. (Sunan Abu Dawud Book 14, Number 14.5.14)

http://www.islamfortoday.com/womens_rights_references.htm

jazakallah sista