Wife beating?

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Re: Wife beating is not allowed in Islam in any case!

ultimate truth said:
nice car, needs some wheels on it, i just thinks thats really unfair if a man is given permission in any way to hit his wife
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yet you overlook the fact that wives are slapped and beaten all over and islam condemns these things greatly. We are allowed to gently hit her wiv a tiny toothbrush like object just to make her understand we're not happy and even this islam doesnt like, we shouldnt do it. infact theirs hadith in which the prophet saws said a good man would stay away from this as much as he can.
 
Re: Wife beating is not allowed in Islam in any case!

but whether its a tooth brush or not, this does mean a man has authority over the women? a man doesnt need to resort to violence to educate his wife. where does it say about the prophet saying a good man would stay away from this as much as he can?
 
Re: Wife beating is not allowed in Islam in any case!

I think if you have a wife who is so bad to the extent you should smack her, you are better off divorcing her, before having to hit her...
 
Re: Wife beating is not allowed in Islam in any case!

Allah - Muslim, state - citizen, mother/parent - child, husband - wife, these aren't equal relationships.
 
Re: Wife beating is not allowed in Islam in any case!

if a man was to punch a wife and extract blood i would understand you that you called it violence. You might as well call tapping someone to get attention violence if you call a gentle hit with a toothbrush violence !!

Sahih Bukhari
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 68:
Narrated 'Abdullah bin Zam'a:

The Prophet forbade laughing at a person who passes wind, and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?" And Hisham said, "As he beats his slave"

Abu Dawud
Book 11, Number 2138:
Narrated Mu'awiyah ibn Haydah:

I said: Apostle of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.



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and if any wife is unhappy with her husband islam gives such right that she may leave him:


Abu Dawud
Book 12, Number 2220:
Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin:

Habibah daughter of Sahl was the wife of Thabit ibn Qays Shimmas He beat her and broke some of her part. So she came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) after morning, and complained to him against her husband. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) called on Thabit ibn Qays and said (to him): Take a part of her property and separate yourself from her. He asked: Is that right, Apostle of Allah? He said: Yes. He said: I have given her two gardens of mine as a dower, and they are already in her possession. The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: Take them and separate yourself from her.
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I hope the matter is clear now
 
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Re: Wife beating is not allowed in Islam in any case!

soulsociety said:
I think if you have a wife who is so bad to the extent you should smack her, you are better off divorcing her, before having to hit her...
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no, just cause you've hit rock bottom doesnt mean you should divorce. Perhaps tempers might flare, i think divorce should be at the bak of the mind and used when its unavoidable. Audhubillah may Allah protect us from such a state.
 
I think Muslims need to explain things properly.

The view of a non-Muslim when they see hit/beat/smack/slap/ is something which is totally different to the way Muslims might be using this words, i.e. within the Islamic restrictions. Alot of non-Muslims might also then be thrown back at the way that some Muslims just throw the words around as if it's nothing.
 
^ examples bro, this is good dawah tips mashaALlah. jazakaAllah khair
 
Re: Wife beating is not allowed in Islam in any case!

ultimate truth said:
i dont wnt to read throught the whole topic, but from what iv read, duz this mean that its permitable for a husband to hit his wife in any way?
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I hate the use of the word beat because it brings terrible images to mind.

What is meant by the word 'beat' is that, as a last resort, the husband may hit the wife in a light manner without causing harm, or leaving any marks and not on the face. And only if she is in the wrong.
 
Salaam/peace to all :)



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Islam & Wife Beating
related links:

http://www.islamonline.net/English/In_Depth/IslamWifeBeating/index.shtml
Wife Beating in Islamic Perspective

Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi and Dr. Jamal Badawi point out that the Prophet Muhammad (p) never hit any female, and said that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives…

Bonds of Love and Mercy


In one of his sayings, the Prophet Muhammad (p) equated perfect belief with good treatment of one’s wife: “Among the Muslims, the most perfect as regards his faith is the one whose character is most excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well.”


http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...h-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503544256


Question Respected scholars! Does Islam allow wife beating? Some husbands are violent and they say that the Qur'an allows them to beat their wives. Is there any logical explanation given regarding men being allowed to beat their wives, as stated in surat An-Nisa', verse 34?


"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means.


Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly);


but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all). If you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other from hers. If they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation; for Allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things." (An-Nisa': 34-35)

It is important to read the section fully. One should not take part of the verse and use it to justify one's own misconduct. This verse neither permits violence nor condones it.



It guides us to ways to handle delicate family situation with care and wisdom. The word "beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean "physical abuse".



The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih" which means "a light tap that leaves no mark". He further said that face must be avoided. Some other scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak, or toothbrush.

Generally, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to discourage his followers from taking even this measure. He never hit any female, and he used to say that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives.
 
Re: Light Beatings?

I seek refuge in Allah (The One God) from the Satan (devil) the cursed, the rejected

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh (May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you)

Listen to the holy Quran---the Final Testament
Recitation of Sura Fathiha by Shiekh Saad Al-Ghamdhi of Saudi Arabia
http://www.islamworld.net/fathiha.au


&&&


youngsister said:
:sl: .....Sisters what would you do if your husband beated you(lightly)?
Brothers what do you think of it?:w:
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I know & heard of some women who are very hot tempered & prevent their husbands to do their duties to parent.

If the husband gives money to parents or a married sister comes to visit parent & stay at brother's res ( i.es res is father's but now brother is in charge of all financial matters ) , it creates a huge family problem. The wife objects that why her mother-in-law spends so much money for food to entertain dauhter & son-in-law ? It's her husband's money & mother must not spend so much . In that case , if the story is true , then what a husband should do ? Obey his wife or what ?


I m not saying that he should start beating his wife but when a wife starts quarrel with mother-in-law ....not once or twice but regularly , then we can't blame husband only if he can't control his temper. I know a woman who start shouting even before her husband can enter the res etc , etc. Yes , her husband has some faults but the wife must understand that it's not the proper way to correct him. At least , allow him to sit & take rest for 10 minutes.




Well, i guess i don't belong to any of the categories mentioned above ; so nope , my husband must not beat / hit/ push/tap me ... hehe:) .

Normally , we don't shout at a time or continue heated discussion for long. So, Insha Allah , we can manage continuing a healthy relationship.

We must fear Allah & ask His help always. ..rest will be easy , Insha Allah.


If any husband thinks it's ok to beat wife about any matter , of course it's wrong. He should follow the example of our role model ( the Last Prophet -pbuh ) & spends time at mosque :okay:
 
:sl:
this thread is beginning 2 go in circles too much:heated:
:w:
 
I have another question for Muslims - What do you think of the effectiveness of this ruling? What I mean is - Have you ever seen a wife behaving extremely out of line and then completely change these behaviors because her husband tapped her with a toothbrush?

Personally, if my (future) husband even so much as raised his hand to me I would leave. If he doesn't like my actions he has the right to leave the marriage. But he NEVER has the right to hit me.

I really fear for Muslim sisters just because domestic violence follows a very predictable pattern. In all cases, the relationship is characterized by a controlling, jealous, dominate male, who then begins to physically harm his wife. It seems to me that jealously and dominence of the husband are encouraged in Islam. When you add that to the fact that "beating" is permitted, it seems to me that you are walking a very fine line.

Sisters - I believe Islam gives you the right to your own money. My mother taught me to always keep some money in your name alone because you really never know what will happen. Its important to keep at least a little bit of money so that if you ever need to leave your house quickly you can.

Domestic violence is a HUGE problem in my country (the US). 1 out of 4 women will be a victim in her life, which is believed to underreported. Does anyone know anything about Muslim countries or Muslilm communities?
 
If the rate is 1 in 4 in a non-muslim country, why have you singled the muslims out as if their marriage styles are the only ones that create trouble? :?

How does smacking with a toothbrush as the last resort to disobedience equal an increased chance of domestic violence? ^o) Its a total ban of domestic violence!!

Those qualities you mentioned are good characterists, perhaps by your thinking they arent, but couple them with the fact that the husband also has to be kind to his wife and has a duty to please her, I dont see what the problem is?

If Muslim husband find a quality in his wife which he dislikes, he should overlook it because he will find other qualities that he does like, assuming that the quality is question isnt something sinful. If he dislieks that fact that she is sinning then of course it is his duty to disipline her, because its now a matter of paradise and hell.

Divorce is only ever the last resort in Islam.
 
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chris4336 said:
I have another question for Muslims - What do you think of the effectiveness of this ruling? What I mean is - Have you ever seen a wife behaving extremely out of line and then completely change these behaviors because her husband tapped her with a toothbrush?{/QUOTE]

The size of a toothbrush not a toothbrush itself. I think it does work, I have seen non-Muslims do things like this, this is something I was going to write about but, if the action will cause more probelms then the husband should not do it. But I think that in some places its understood and it can work on some people.

chris4336 said:
Personally, if my (future) husband even so much as raised his hand to me I would leave. If he doesn't like my actions he has the right to leave the marriage. But he NEVER has the right to hit me.
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Ok, well that's your opinion, but what does it mean to hit? I wonder if you will ever pull on your husband or hold your husband sometimes to kind of indicate your disproval at something. I wonder, I've seen many women do that.

chris4336 said:
I really fear for Muslim sisters just because domestic violence follows a very predictable pattern. In all cases, the relationship is characterized by a controlling, jealous, dominate male, who then begins to physically harm his wife. It seems to me that jealously and dominence of the husband are encouraged in Islam. When you add that to the fact that "beating" is permitted, it seems to me that you are walking a very fine line.
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When you add to that the fact that those who abuse their partners could not care less if beating was allowed or not then I see theres no problem. For example, let me show you, someone might say 'Domestic reletionship theres violence both are Muslim,,,Hmm Islam encouraged it'

Well I know a sister who has been abused by her husband, but did Islam encourage it? No, beacuse in most cases of domestic violence, the steps are not taken that Islam talks about,

in most cases the husband hits out of anger which is not allowed.

in most cases the husband hits to leave marks which is not allowed,

in most cases the husband hits the face again which is not allowed,

in most cases the wife has done NOTHING wrong,

in alot of cases alchol is involved which again is against Islam,

in most cases as I mentioned before it is done out of anger this again is against islam in the sense that the prophet told us not to be angry,

Also in alot of cases the fact that the Prophet told us to be kind to our wives is not taken into consideration by the partner.

Further more Allah told us that we might not like some parts but we have to overlook them, so in most cases this is disregarded.

The list goes on, just because Islam allowes a form of tapping does it mean that domestic violence and abuse is because of that, NO, because if it was from Islam the husband would have seen the rest of the teachings. But then again, I guess we shouldn't look at the 'good' aspects.
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That is why I asked about the rates, I don't know what its like in Muslim countries.

I know the law in this coutry is Do Not Hit period. Without exceptions. This is what is taught to men and women alike in school. We do not permit any sort of physical abuse and the rate is still extremely high. That is what is taught but people don't follow it, just like many Muslims do not follow their teachings. I am curious to see the rates in countries where it is permitted in some form.
 
chris4336 said:
That is why I asked about the rates, I don't know what its like in Muslim countries.

I know the law in this coutry is Do Not Hit period. Without exceptions. This is what is taught to men and women alike in school. We do not permit any sort of physical abuse and the rate is still extremely high. That is what is taught but people don't follow it, just like many Muslims do not follow their teachings. I am curious to see the rates in countries where it is permitted in some form.
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Where what is permitted?

I think in the USA a man or woman is allowed to grab their wife or husband? In school I was grabbed by my deputy head when I was a kid and that is in the uk, grabbed me by the arm, certainly got my attention and stopped me from being naughty.

Is that what is not allowed in the USA? A symbolic gesture, because if it does not leave bruising or marks nor should it be done in anger and at a moment of stress then what else is it?
 
Um Chris, well I dont think that will work because there will be billions of other factors, specifically cultural factors that will influence the rate.

You have to assume that both societies were identical and the only thing that differed between then was the teaching that hitting the wife is not allowed for the comparision to be of any value...
 
Eesa - I see your points but you have to understand that if this religion is from God I expect it to be better than "Good." I expect it to be perfect, to provide a better system of life than I could ever have imagined. There are many many many aspects of Islam that are great. I know I am very critical of Islam on these boards but I truly wouldn't be here if I thought it was all bad.

I just can't help but wonder if the benefit of allowing this "toothbrush" beating to save a marriage is worth the risk that it will be very easily misinterpreted and abused? And isn't that something the all-knowing creator would have taken into account when he made this ruling? Again like in polygamy it comes down to the faith in a higher power that knows us better than we know ourselves.
 
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