Re: Im so depressed 
I know you people will think i'm so crazy. I think being on my own is worse than being with someone who's not treating me right. I hate saying that because I don't want to think like that, but I feel so hopeless on my own, trying to do other things seems pointless, when I know at the end of the day, when I go home, I will end up thinking about him again, and I will cry on my pillow.
I've tried not to think about him, believe me i'm trying so hard, but I end up breaking again. He don't want me, I want to accept that and move on but it burns me inside. I know people say it's for the best, so why can't I accept that, i'm so angry
I don't want to like him, I don't want this need for him, but I can't control it, please believe me when I say that, I really do find it impossible to handle.
I have more important things that I should be concentrating on right now, but I feel like there is something else controlling me inside.
So many of u have replied and tried to help and advise me, and I know you must be thinking this girl will never listen, she's beyond help (and trust me I feel as though no one can help me) , believe me i'm trying and I appreciate everyones help, I wish I would listen and be strong, I don't know what's wrong with me. imsad
The worst thing is, when I feel like I have no control and I feel angry and frustrated, I start blaming Allah (swt) Allah forgive me. I know it's really bad, I promise you I try not to think like that but I get so angry I can't control my thinking, I start thinking he hates me so much, he wants tme to suffer, and I strongly believe I will never ever find happiness, whn people try to help and advise me, I just think they are only saying that because they are not as depressed as me, they at least have some happiness in their lives and that they are only saying it to make me feel better.
When I pray and read Qu'ran, and i'm still angry and nothing is making me happy, I think to myself why do I pray when Im still depressed, i've given it time trust me, I have been suffering for years, it's not just this break up thats hurting me so much, there's so many things. I have lost patience, whe I think of Allah (swt) I want to think positive and believe that things will get better, but believe me when I say this, I can't control my feelings, I start thinking very stupid things in my head, how can I stop thinking Allah (swt) hates me, please please I beg you, help me someone, anyone
imsad
Salam Sister (again!),
Don't despair! Read the article below, it WILL make you feel better I promise. I got it from another forum, but I don't want to post the actual link unless the moderators say it's okay... please read it. And open your heart and mind.
Sister, this article is your solution
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MODERATORS: CAN I POST THE LINK TO THE FORUM I GOT THE ARTICLE FROM?
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Bismillah wal Alhamdulillah wa salaata wa salaam 'ala rasulillah,
Assalaamu 'alaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,
Allah and His Messenger sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam have mentioned in many ayaat and ahadeeth the virtues of patiences.
" Certainly, We shall test you with fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits; but give glad tidings to the patient - those who, when afflicted with calamity say, "Truly to Allah we belong, and truly to Him shall we return." It is those who will be awarded blessings and mercy from their Lord; and it is those who are the guided ones." [ Soorah Baqarah (2):155-157 ]
O you who believe! Seek help in patience and prayer. Truly! Allah is with the patient. And say not of those who are killed in the Cause of Allah, They are dead. Nay, they are living, but you perceive not. [Soorah al-Baqarah (2):153-154]
" And we will reward them for what they patiently endured [with] a garden [in Paradise] and Silk [garments]." [Soorah al-Insan (76):12]
Abu Hurayrah (radiallaahu 'anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: " Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity." [ Bukharee and others ]
Anas (radiallaahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: " When Allah wills good for a servant of His, He expedites his punishment in this life; and when He wills retribution for a servant of His, He holds his sins for Him to judge him by them on the Day of Resurrection. " [ Tirmithee ]
As for us who are either deficient in our patience or are not patient at all, Allah said in the Quran describing this as a quality of the disbelievers, saying:
"Indeed, mankind was created anxious: When evil touches him, impatient, And when good touches him, withholding [of it], Except the observers of prayer- Those who are constant in their prayer." [Soorah al Ma'arij (70):19-23]
We should constantly remind each other the virtue of patiences and remind each other of the blessings that Allah bestows upon the one whom He has tried.
The Messenger (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) who said: " Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer ! They are all for his benefit; If he is granted ease of living he is thankful; and this is best for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres; and this is best or him." [ Muslim ]
Abu Hurayrah (radiallaahu 'anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wasallam) said: " Hardships continue to befall a believing man and woman's body, family, and property, until they meet Allah (swt) burdened with no sins." [ Tirmithee ]
Abu Sa'eed al-Khudree (radiallaahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: "A muslim is not afflicted by hardship, sickness, sadness, worry, harm, or depression - even if pricked by a thorn, but Allah expiates his sins because of that. " [ Bukharee and Muslim ]
'Aishah (radiallaahu anhu) narrated that once some pain afflicted the Prophrt (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) causing him to suffer and turn about in his bed. She said: "Had one of us done this, you would have blamed him." He (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) replied: " An ailment is intensified for the righteous. whenever a believer is afflicted by a hardship, whether it is a thorn or more, a sin is taken off from him because of it, and he is elevated by one rank ( in Jannah). " [ Ahmad ]
Imagine walking on the earth free of sin. And this is only the case with a believer. And it is from the signs of a Muslim that he or she is a Muhmin (a Believer) if they are patient when faced with a trial.
Another note that should cause a believer to rejoice even more is to the fact that a sign of Allah's love for a servant is that he puts them through a trial. And what can make a believer more content with Allahs decree than to know this is a sign that Allah loves Him! Not only do we get our sins expiated, not only is our rank elevated in Jannah, not only are we saved from having to be reconed in the day of Judgement, but we are also loved by Allah as well. The Prophet sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam said: Remember Allah during times of ease and He will remember you during times of hardship. [Reported by Ahmad]
It is so sad many of us look at our trials as bad times, as punishments, as a sign that Allah is displeased with us, or look at is as a curse. Some of us outwardly show hatred towards Allahs decree, or say and do things to show our disatisfaction of Allahs decree.
How does one remain firm in face of adversity?
a ) he remains firm in his heart and not feel dissatisfaction or carry ill feelings towards Allah's decree over him, such as asking himself 'why me?' or feeling upset or angery at what Allah willed of adversity for him. But rather, he should recognize this is a test from Allah and recognize that Allah only tests those whom He loves of His servants, and from there remain steadfast and patient throughout his adversity.
B ) he does not use his tongue in showing dissatisfaction with Allah's decree over him, such as complaining to others of his adveristy and speaking in discontentment about his adveristy, whether to himself or others. Rather, he should instead praise Allah and call upon him in dua' that Allah make his adveristy easy for him. He says just as Allah says in the Quran "give glad tidings to the patient - those who, when afflicted with calamity say, "Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un (Truly to Allah we belong, and truly to Him shall we return)"" [Soorah al-Baqarah (2):156]. And instead of saying 'if only i had done such and such..' he should say "QadrAllah wa Maashaa, fa'ala - Allahhas decreed and what He wills, He does" as the Prophet sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam taught us in an authentic hadeeth found in Muslim [4/2052]. Or say "hasbeeAllah wa ne'mail wakeel - Allah is sufficient for me, a how fine a trustee (He is)" [Abu Dawood]. And towards others, he should speak in content regarding his adversity and remain patient.
c ) he does not use his limbs in showing dissatisfaction with Allah's decree over him, such as breaking objects or hurting himself or banging on things. He should not go in rage or allow his anger to take over him. Rather, he should suppress his anger by saying ''authubillahi minashaytaan ir rajeem' [al-Bukhari and Muslim] and withhold his limbs from acting in a sign of rage, and only use them in what will please Allah. Others might show impatiences by not stoping from certian sin(s) and thereby use their actions in commiting that sin again. So also in this case, one should use his actions in what will signal patiences and withhold his actions from commiting that sin, and inshaaAllah with that, one will perservere over their adversity.
Sometimes a servant finds that after a trial has passed him, Allah decrees another trial to befall him with this trial being even more hard on the servant. Allah continues to increase the trial and the hardship, the depression, the sorrow, the pain, whatever it maybe, Allah will increase it just as Allah's love for him will increase, just as his status and rank infront of Allah will increase, and through all this, as the servant keeps on being patient, he will only continue to become closer to Allah. A true believer shows patiences because he or she knows this trial is only increased because Allah's Messenger sulAllahu 'alayhi wassalaam has said: "The most in their suffering among the people are the prophets, then the best (of the people after them), then the (next) best. One is afflicted in accordance with his deen (faith). If his deen is firm his affliction is hard, and if his deen is weak, his affliction is light. Indeed, one would be so much subjected to adversity until he walks among the people without any sins." [ Ahmad,Tirmithee ]
Anas (radiallaahu anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wasallam) said: " The amount of reward is in accordance with the amount of suffering. When Allah (swt) loves some people, He tries them (with afflictions). He who then is content (with Allah's decree) has achieved the acceptance (of Allah), and he who is dissatisfied (with Allah's decree) will attain the anger (of Allah)." [ Tirmithee ]
Allah only increases the trial because Allah knows his servant's deen is firm. But if his deen is weak, then his affliction will be light. The Pious Precessors (as Salaf as Saleh) used to be happy and pleased when a trial or adversity befell them, because they knew it was a sign that Allah loves them and that their sins would be expiated through it.
Infact, we should be scared, we should be wondering, when Allah is giving us easy lives and when Allah does not place any trials upon us for sometime, we should wonder why! We should check ourselves, and see maybe Allah does not love us. We should see if theres something wrong with our deen and our obedience. If a trial is a sign of Allah's love for us and is an expiation of our sins, then what about long time intervals in which Allah does not place trials upon us? Sometimes this is not a good sign. Sometimes it is a sign Allah wants distruction for us because of our disobediences and our neglecting Allah and not seeking His forgiveness and Pleasure, and what better way is there for Allah to destroy us than to lead us into love for the dunya, and to aquiring wealth and status not for the sake of Allah. And this is how Allah destroyed the people before us.
The noble Scholar from among the Salaf (pious predecessors) Shaikh ul-Islam Sufyan ath-Thawri said concerning the ayaat where Allah says in the Quran "We Shall gradually sieze them."[Soorah Al'Araaf (7):182] , Al-Khuraybee reported that Sufyan said in explaining the verse "We shower blessings upon them, but prevent them from giving thanks." [Found in the biography of Sufyan ath Thawri: Siyar A'laamin-Nubalaa of Adh-Dhahabee (7/229-279)]
May Allah protect us from being among the people Allah prevents from giving thanks.
Always look at your trials as a blessing from Allah, look at them as an opportunity given to you by Allah to prove yourselves as a true believer. Always remind yourself that the trial is a 'Nima (Favour) from Allah and it is not a curse or punishment from Allah. Keep constant in prayer and dua' when faced with your trials.
And REMEMBER, to TRUST IN Allah, when you in the worst times, when feelings of loosing hope strikes, or feelings that there is no help coming, destroy these feelings by REMEMBERING Allah IS THE MOST HIGH THE MOST ABLE, and EVERYTHING HAPPENS BY HIS WILL AND HIS KNOWLEDGE, AND BECAUSE Allah IS THE MOST ABLE, TRUST IN Allah THAT HE WILL INDEED FIND A WAY OUT FOR YOU AND GIVE YOU BETTER THAN WHAT YOU HAD.
subhanika lahumma wa bihamdik wa ash-hadu an laa ilaaha il Allah, wa astagfiruka wa atuubu ilayk.
wassalaamu 'alaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.
:smile: :shade:
