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Aviation Humour

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    brotherubaid's Avatar Full Member
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    Aviation Humour

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    I just posted a thread about conditions of permissible humor and joking.

    So brothers and sisters here is an example , it is true and i find it funny , those who know a bit about aviation might enjoy it a little more , but nevertheless its pretty funny.



    After every flight Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet", which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
    The mechanics fix the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
    pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
    Here are some of the actual complaints submitted by Qantas pilots (marked P)
    and the solutions recorded (marked S) by maintenance engineers.

    By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

    P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on the ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    And the best one for last. ( I love this one)

    P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. sounds like a midget pounding on something with hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.


    So this was all true and funny as well , InshahAllah we shoudl all try to post humour n joks that are actually true rather than making them up as the Prophet Has warned against lying to make people laugh witha sever warning

    Assalam O Alikum
    Last edited by brotherubaid; 12-22-2009 at 12:13 PM.
    Aviation Humour

    079186 1 - Aviation Humour
    How perfect You are O Allaah, and I praise You. I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped except You. I seek Your forgiveness and turn to You in repentance
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    Insaanah's Avatar Super Moderator
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    Re: Aviation Humour



    Oh, I like these! I was trying to pick a favourite..but it's hard, they're all funny!

    Jazaakallah for sharing.

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    Misz_Muslimah's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Aviation Humour


    Jazaakalahu khayran
    Aviation Humour

    There is a blessing in trials...
    ...they are a means of purifying you, so you can go to the most purest place:

    Jannah



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    AlHoda's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Aviation Humour


    Jazakalluhughair.
    Aviation Humour

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    Know that Allah hears you.
    Wherever you are.
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    Re: Aviation Humour

    P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. sounds like a midget pounding on something with hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.
    Love this one.
    Aviation Humour

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    We have suffered too much for too long. We will not accept apartheid masked as peace. We will settle for no less than our freedom.



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