You know its BURNING HOT outside when...

Well, summer is officially here and it is BURNING HOT outside...I found this and thought it was pretty funny, Enjoy!

You Know It's Hot Outside When...

• You've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man.

• When the beer gut and big butt don't keep you from wearing shorts.

• You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

• You burn your hand opening the car door.

• Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.

• People walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames.

• Your computer won't work unless it has it's own AC blowing on it.

• The politicians take their hands out of

your pockets to fan themselves.

• Airplanes can't land because the asphalt is too soft.

• You discover that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

• The swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy."

• Lawyers kill themselves because they know it's cooler in Hell.

• Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

• The strawberries are ripe and the cab drivers are riper.

• Your pool water starts to boil in the sun.

• The hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot.

• Pigs complain about sweating like fat humans.

• A scalding hot shower still cools you down.

• A $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants.

• You need a spatula to remove your clothing.

• You wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather.

• You ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible.

• It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.

• Sunscreen is sold at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go shopping.

• You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

• Your brother's braces make blisters on his lips.

• You are sitting inside reading these jokes.