My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started...
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So, I took her to a petrol pump
And then the fight started...
My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment.'
I replied, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'
And then the fight started...
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I've not been in a long time."
So I took her to the kitchen.
And then the fight started...
Dedicated to all married couples... But don't send to all
I sent to my friend. He sent to his wife and then the fight started!!
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
In a large supermarket, a man approaches a very beautiful woman with the words, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Please, could you spare a few minutes to talk to me?”
“Why?” she says.
“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”
A man visited the doctor's office. The man complained he had insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough medical check-up and found absolutely nothing wrong with him.
The doctor said, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you."
"I know," said the man, "but I can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
Wife entered bed room and found hubby asleep on his files, tired of work.
She Walked closer to him, played with his hair softly, sweetly and............ * PHATTTAKK* slapped his face... and said; "last seen on whatsapp 1 minute ago"
One year, I decided to buy wife a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
“Harry,” whined Mary, to her husband of 20 years. “What should I do?! I’m not ready for old age! I’m only 40 years old but I look and feel like I’m over 55! My face is all wrinkly, my back is bent over, and my hair is all thinned out.” “Well,” said Harry after looking her up and down, “There is one thing about you that still works as good as new.” “Oh Harry!” said Mary sitting down next to her husband, “you always know just what to say! What are you referring to?” “Never mind” said Harry looking down. “C’mon Harry, please tell me what you were referring to.” “Mary, please don’t make me.” “Harry I insist.” “Well I was going to remark about how your eyesight seems to be working just fine!”
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