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  1. #1
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    The Art of Listening

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    The Art of Listening

    By: Sheikh Abdul Fattah Abu Ghudda | Islaam.com

    If a person starts telling you, whether in private or public, something that you already knew very well, you should pretend as if you do not know it. Do not rush to reveal your knowledge or to interfere with the speech.

    Instead, show your attention and concentration. The honorable tab'i Imam Ata ibn Abi Rabah said: "A young man would tell me something that I may have heard before he was born. Nevertheless, I would listen to him as if I had never heard it before."

    Khalid ibn Safwan al-Tamimi, who frequented the courts of two Khalifahs: Umar ibn Abdul Aziz and Hisham ibn Abdul Malik, said: "If a person tells you something you have heard before, or news that you already learned, do not interrupt him to exhibit your knowledge to those present. This is rude and ill mannered." The honorable Imam Abdullah ibn Wahab al-Qurashi al-Masri, a companion of Imam Malik, Al-Laith ibn Sad and Al-Thawri, said: "Sometimes a person would tell me a story that I have heard before his parents had wed. Yet, I listened as if I have never heard it before." Ibrahim ibn al-Junaid said: "A wise man said to his son: 'Learn the art of listening as you learn the art of speaking.'" Listening well means maintaining eye contact, allowing the speaker to finish the spech, and restraining your urge to interrupt his speech. Al-Hafiz al-Khatib al-Baghdadi said in a poem:

    Never interrupt a talk
    Though you know it inside out
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    In the Name of Allaah, the Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy. By the time! Verily mankind is at loss – except for those who believe and perform righteous deeds, and advise one another towards the truth and advise one another towards patience.
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    Re: !! The Art of Listening !!

    assalamu alaikum,

    aahhh, the art of listening..i should take heed to this..im hopeless!!!!
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    Re: !! The Art of Listening !!

    Salaam.

    I too could do with this reminder. Thanks.
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    Got a question, or got something in general to say or ask me, drop me a line. Peace out!

    - Z.
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    Re: !! The Art of Listening !!

    Jazaaki Allahu khairan sister
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    Re: The Art of Listening



    Threads merged.

    We already had two threads like this, therefore they have been combined into one.

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    Islamic manners..!!


    any articles about islamic manners can go here inshallah..
    here's the first one from me...

    by Shaykh Abdul-Fattaah Abu Ghuddah
    THE MANNERS OF CONVERSATION

    SELECTING SUITABLE TOPICS

    In Sura Al-Haj, Allah described the believers 'And they have been guided to the purest of speeches; and guided to the path of Him who is worthy of all praise.' When you talk during your visit, say only what fits the situation and be brief. If you are the youngest among those sitting, don't speak unless you are asked to, or unless you know that your speech and words will be well received and will please the host and other guests. Don't prolong your speech. Use a proper tone of voice. Anas reported that 'the Prophet's talk was clear and concise. Not too much nor too little. He disliked loquacity and ranting.' Bukhari narrated a Hadith in which Aisha said 'The Prophet's talk [was so little] that you can count his words'.
    If you hear the Azan you must listen and respond to the call of Allah. Many people, even those with Islamic knowledge continue talking while the Azan is being called. This is rude, since those hearing the Azan should listen to it and quit speech, study and even Quran recitation. Solemnly they should repeat the words of the Azan and reflect on the words of this highest call. We should listen to the Azan, whether we are at home, office, shop, or attending a lesson, even if it is a religious lesson. Imam Al-Kasani in Badaiu Al-Sanaei' said: 'Those hearing the Azan or Iqama should not talk. Even if reading Quran or doing other noble things, everything should be stopped to listen and respond to the Azan'.
    The Azan is the food of the soul nourishing it with faith and elevation. Do not forgo your share of it. Teach this to your children and friends. Al-Bukhari narrated a Hadith by Abu Saeed Al-Khudri that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said: 'If you heard the call say like what the Muezzin is saying.' In another Hadith reported by Jaber that the Prophet said 'He deserves my help on the day of judgment who said when hearing Azan: O' Allah, the Lord of this perfect call and imminent prayer, please award Mohammad the help, nobility, and the desired status you promised him.'
    Imam Abdul Razaq narrated in his Musanaf that Ibn Juraig said: 'I was told that people used to listen to Azan like they would listen to recitation of Quran. They would repeat after the Muezzin. If he said: come to prayer, they will say: with the help and power of Allah. If he said: come to the good deed, they will say: with the will of Allah.
    TALK IN A SUITABLE TONE
    If you speak to a guest or any other person, whether in a gathering or alone, make sure that your voice is pleasant, with a low, audible tone. Raising your voice is contrary to proper manners and indicates a lack of respect for the person to whom you are talking. This manner should be maintained with friends, peers, acquaintances, strangers, the young and the old. It is more important to adhere to this with one's parents or someone of their status, or with people for whom you have great respect. If appropriate, smile while talking to others. This will make them more receptive to what you have to say, and may dispel the impression that practicing Muslims are stern and humorless.
    The Quran tells us that the advice of Luqman the Wise to his son was, '...and lower your voice,' directing him to speak in a gentle manner, for speaking loudly is detested and ugly. Verses two and three of Surat Al-Hujurat read: 'Oh you who believe! Raise not your voices, above the voice of the Prophet, nor speak aloud to him as you speak aloud to one another, lest your deeds become vain and you perceive not. Those that lower their voices in the presence of Allah's apostle, Allah has tested their hearts for piety, for them there is forgiveness and a great reward.'
    Imam Al-Bukhari in his Sahih reported that 'Abdullah bin Al-Zubair said that after the revelation of this verse, whenever Omar bin Al-Khattab wanted to speak to the Prophet (PBUH), he would talk as if whispering. The Prophet would hardly hear him and he would inquire about some of what Omar said, since he did not hear him well.
    Your talk should be clear, concise and to the point. Do not talk and talk and talk. Bukhari and Muslim reported that Anas said 'The Prophet's talk was precise clear, and succinct without undue elaboration.' Al-Hafiz Al-Zahabi wrote in his biography of Imam Ibn Sireen, the great scholar and eminent follower of the companions, that: 'Whenever he was in his mother's presence, he would talk in such a low voice that you would think that he was ill.' In his biography of Abdullah bin Awn Al-Basri, a student of Imam Ibn Sireen and one of the famous scholars Al-Hafiz Al-Zahabi, noted: 'One time his mother called him and because he responded with a voice louder than hers, he was fearful and repentant and he freed two slaves.'
    'Asim bin Bahdelah Al-Koofi, the reciterof the Quran, said: 'I visited Omar bin 'Abdul Aziz, and a man spoke loudly, and Omar replied: 'Stop it. You need not talk loudly. Talk loud enough to make your listeners hear.'

    THE ART OF LISTENING
    If a person started telling you or your group something that you know very well, you should pretend as if you do not know it. Do not rush to reveal your knowledge or to interfere with the speech. Instead, show your attention and concentration. The honourable follower Imam 'Ata ibn Abi Rabah said: 'A young man would tell me something that I may have heard before he was born. Nevertheless, I listen to him as if I have never heard it before.'
    Khalid bin Safwan Al-Tamimi, who was with the two caliphs Omar bin Abdul Aziz; and Hisham bin Abdul Malik, said: 'If a person tells you something you have heard before, or news that you already learned, do not interrupt him or her to exhibit your knowledge to those present. This is a rude and an ill manner.' The honourable Imam 'Abdullah bin Wahab Al-Qurashi Al-Masri, a companion of Imam Malik, Al-Laith bin Sa'd and Al-Thawri, said: 'Sometimes a person would tell me a story that I have heard before his parents had wed. Yet I listen as if I have never heard it before.' Ibrahim bin Al-Junaid said: 'A wise man said to his son: 'learn the art of listening as you learn the art of speaking. Listening well means maintaining eye contact, allowing the speaker to finish the speech, and restraining yourself from interrupting his speech.'
    Al-Hafiz Al-Khatib Al-Baghdadi said in a poem:

    A talk never interrupt
    Though you know it in and out

    DISCUSSIONS AND DEBATES

    If you have trouble understanding some of what has been said in a meeting, restrain yourself until the speaker finishes. Gently, politely, and with proper introduction, ask for clarification. Do not interrupt a person's talk. This is contrary to the proper manner of listening, and stirs up contempt. However, this is not the rule if the meeting is for study and learning. In such a case, asking questions and initiating a discussion is desirable if conducted respectfully and tactfully and only after the speaker finishes. Caliph Al-Ma^mon said, 'Discussion entrenches knowledge more than mere following.'
    Al-Haitham bin Adi, a known scholar, and historian, and one of the entourage of the four Caliphs Abi Jafer Al-Mansour, Al-Mahdi, Al-Hadi, and Al-Rasheed, said: 'The men of wisdom said it is an ill manner to overwhelm someone while speaking and to interrupt them before they end their speech.'
    If a colleague did not understand a matter and asked a scholar or an elder to explain, you should listen to what is being said. From the repeated explanation you may gain additional benefits to what you already know. Never utter any word belittling your colleague, nor should your face betray any such emotion.
    When an elder or a scholar speaks, you should listen attentively to them. Never busy yourself with a talk or discussion with other colleagues. Do not let your mind wander somewhere else. Keep it focused on what is being said. If you did not understand something that was said, wait until the talk is finished. Then and only then, ask the speaker, with respect and politeness, to explain it. Never raise your voice with the question, or be blunt to draw attention to yourself. Never interrupt a speaker.
    Never rush to answer if you are not very confident of your answer. Never argue about something you do not know. Never argue for the sake of argument. Never show arrogance with your counterparts especially if they hold a different opinion. Do not switch the argument to belittle your opponent's views. If their mistaken understanding became evident, do not rebuke or scold them. Be modest and kind.
    A poet said,

    Who could get me a person
    When I offend him, his answer will reflect calmness
    Who would listen intently to what I have to say
    When he knows it better than I.

    SWEARING BY ALLAH

    To confirm a statement, many resort to swearing by the name of Allah (SWT) or one of His attribute. This is a bad habit that should be resisted. The name of Allah should not be used so lightly, and to swear by it is a very serious matter. Allah (SWT) in Sura Al-Nahil says 'And do not take your oath to practice deception between yourselves, with the result that someone's foot may slip after it was firmly planted' Always remember the hadith of the Prophet reported by Bukhari and Muslim ' Whoever believe in Allah and the Last Day should say something good or remain silent.'
    ANSWERING A QUESTION
    If a colleague was asked about something that you know, do not rush to answer. Instead, you ought not to say anything until you are asked. This is a better manner, and a nobler attitude. It generates interest in what you say, while enhancing your respect.
    The honourable follower Mujahid Ibn Jabr recalled that Luqman the Wise said to his son: 'If another person was asked a question, never hasten to give the answer, as if you are going to gain booty or to win a precious prize. By doing so, you will belittle the one who was asked and will offend the inquirer and you will bring the attention of the obnoxious people to your stupidity and ill-manner.'
    Sheikh Ibn Batta, a Hanbali scholar, said: 'I was with Abu 'Omar Al-Zahid Mohammed ibn 'Abdul Wahed Al-Baghdadi - the Imam and linguist known also as Ghulam Th'alab. He was asked about an issue. I rushed and answered the inquirer. He turned toward me and asked: 'Do you recognize an officious character?' He suggested that I was a nosy person and made me feel very embarrassed.'
    source:www.alinaam.org.za/
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    وإذا لم يكن منَ الموتِ بُدُّ فمِنَ العَجزِ أنْ تَكُونَ جَبَانا
    If death is something inescapable, then it is from weakness to be a coward-!

    Lahoo main bhegay dareeda Anchal
    Qasam hai tum ko bhula na daina...

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  9. #7
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    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"



    If a person starts telling you, whether in private or public, something that you already knew very well, you should pretend as if you do not know it. Do not rush to reveal your knowledge or to interfere with the speech. Instead, show your attention and concentration.

    The honorable tab'i Imam Ata ibn Abi Rabah said: "A young man would tell me something that I may have heard before he was born. Nevertheless, I would listen to him as if I had never heard it before."

    Khalid ibn Safwan al-Tamimi, who frequented the courts of two Khalifahs: Umar ibn Abdul Aziz and Hisham ibn Abdul Malik, said: "If a person tells you something you have heard before, or news that you already learned, do not interrupt him to exhibit your knowledge to those present. This is rude and ill mannered."

    The honorable Imam Abdullah ibn Wahab al-Qurashi al-Masri, a companion of Imam Malik, Al-Laith ibn Sad and Al-Thawri, said: "Sometimes a person would tell me a story that I have heard before his parents had wed. Yet, I listened as if I have never heard it before."

    Ibrahim ibn al-Junaid said: "A wise man said to his son: 'Learn the art of listening as you learn the art of speaking.'"

    Listening well means maintaining eye contact, allowing the speaker to finish the spech, and restraining your urge to interrupt his speech.

    Al-Hafiz al-Khatib al-Baghdadi said in a poem:
    Never interrupt a talk
    Though you know it inside out
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul, rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” - Dhul-Nun

    "It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." - Victor Frankl
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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    That is good advise, and it work's wonders.
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"



    I heard this before, but i dont really understand it. What if someone is about to tell you a story that takes ages to explain and you already know it, whats wrong with saying oh yeh I heard that before? Why waste those 5 min or something?
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    Quote Originally Posted by Malaikah View Post


    I heard this before, but i dont really understand it. What if someone is about to tell you a story that takes ages to explain and you already know it, whats wrong with saying oh yeh I heard that before? Why waste those 5 min or something?

    maybe its just to be polite to the other person.

    sometimes i'll get embarassed or offended when people say that to me...especially when i'm over excited about it.
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    heart 1 - "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    Quote Originally Posted by Malaikah View Post


    I heard this before, but i dont really understand it. What if someone is about to tell you a story that takes ages to explain and you already know it, whats wrong with saying oh yeh I heard that before? Why waste those 5 min or something?
    it depends on the situation i guess, but i think wats more being referred to is when someoen is advising you...

    but i guess if its just a casual conversation, it might b ok... and yeh i guess its worth taking syillias point into consideration... i guess it depends on the prsn u spk 2...



    ps: sis syilla dw, its normal happens 2 every1, they dont really mean 2 offend u... i guess if u want u can say "oh sorrryyyyy stepp bakkk you already knew it"
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    commenthere:



    ليس بعلم ما حواه القمطر، ماالعلم إلا ما وعاه الصدر
    animationPop 1 - "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"
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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"


    Excellent advice, mashaa'Allah!

    Quote Originally Posted by Malaikah View Post


    I heard this before, but i dont really understand it. What if someone is about to tell you a story that takes ages to explain and you already know it, whats wrong with saying oh yeh I heard that before? Why waste those 5 min or something?
    Usually before beginning they might ask, "You know the story of when such and such..." and then you can just say yes. Or if they don't you can nod your head and murmur in agreement, just don't cut them off or flaunt your knowledge, and don't embarass the other person.

    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
    "Surely I was sent to perfect the qualities of righteous character" [Musnad Ahmad, Muwatta Mâlik]


    Visit Ansâr Al-'Adl's personal page HERE.
    Excellent resources on Islam listed HERE.
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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    Quote Originally Posted by Malaikah View Post


    I heard this before, but i dont really understand it. What if someone is about to tell you a story that takes ages to explain and you already know it, whats wrong with saying oh yeh I heard that before? Why waste those 5 min or something?
    Wa Aleykum Salam,

    I love the advise of the Original Poster and I try to follow it sometimes it can be hard especially talking to someone when you try to get your point across.

    Sister, I have noticed one benefit at least that when people tell you the story you might hear something new or clarify something plus the person telling you will be learning and reminding themselves.
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    The path is long but I hope we meet,
    After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.

    A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
    If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.

    Your Bro. Abu Hurayra, al-Habeshi
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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"



    Excellent advise Lhappy: ...something a few of us need to learn

    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"


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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    AsalamuAlaykum Wrahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

    jazakhala


    hah ##
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"


    "Whoever lives amongst you will see much differing, so adhere to my Sunnah" Muhammad
    (صلّى الله عليه و سلم)

    Dhikhrul-lil-Aalamiin
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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"




    I've neva heard this before bro
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  21. #17
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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    Quote Originally Posted by syilla View Post
    maybe its just to be polite to the other person.

    sometimes i'll get embarassed or offended when people say that to me...especially when i'm over excited about it.
    actually, thats true. i know what u mean =|
    Jazak Allah for the advice
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    *Without Allah, without Islam, life would be meaningless. If I've ever learned patience, it's because of this. Alhamdulillah...*
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    Re: "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    yeah...nice reminder!
    "... As If I Have Never Heard It Before"

    "O Muslims! If anyone among you worshipped Ramadan, then know that Ramadan is dead. But those of you who worshipped Allah, then know that Allah lives and will never die. Indeed Allah created Ramadan and He also, in truth, created Shawaal, Dhul Qidah, Dhul Hijjah, and all the rest of the Months..."
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    If a person starts telling you, whether in private or public, something...

    If a person starts telling you, whether in private or public, something that you already knew very well, you should pretend as if you do not know it. Do not rush to reveal your knowledge or to interfere with the speech. Instead, show your attention and concentration. The honorable tab'i Imam Ata ibn Abi Rabah said: "A young man would tell me something that I may have heard before he was born. Nevertheless, I would listen to him as if I had never heard it before."

    Khalid ibn Safwan al-Tamimi, who frequented the courts of two Khalifahs: Umar ibn Abdul Aziz and Hisham ibn Abdul Malik, said: "If a person tells you something you have heard before, or news that you already learned, do not interrupt him to exhibit your knowledge to those present. This is rude and ill mannered." The honorable Imam Abdullah ibn Wahab al-Qurashi al-Masri, a companion of Imam Malik, Al-Laith ibn Sad and Al-Thawri, said: "Sometimes a person would tell me a story that I have heard before his parents had wed. Yet, I listened as if I have never heard it before." Ibrahim ibn al-Junaid said: "A wise man said to his son: 'Learn the art of listening as you learn the art of speaking.'" Listening well means maintaining eye contact, allowing the speaker to finish the spech, and restraining your urge to interrupt his speech. Al-Hafiz al-Khatib al-Baghdadi said in a poem:

    Never interrupt a talk

    Though you know it inside out

    REMINDER

    The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Fasting the day of `Ashura’ (is of great merits), I hope that Allah will accept it as an expiation for (the sins committed in) the previous year.” (Muslim)

    IF U ARE NOT ABLE TO DO SO AND WANT TO BE GRANTED THE REAWARD OF THIS DAY, FEED THE FASTING PERSON BY BRINGING DATES TO THE MOSQUE BEFORE DAN AL MAGHREB ,GIVE A DATE OR HALF TO U CLASS MATE , colleagues .If there is no date just mouthful of water or milk.
    Whoever feeds a fasting person will have a reward like that of his reward (i.e. the one fasting
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    Re: If a person starts telling you, whether in private or public, something that you

    That happens to me very often someone will start talking about something I know very well about or that I have heard a billion times before but I wait till he finishes to tell him I already know.
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