Jazak'Allah Khair For Scholars

I wish to become a scholar.

I am 43 years old and only reverted to Islam a few years ago. I am now at a point in my life, where I have been declared "disabled" and no longer fit for full time work, where I can actually devote all of my time and energy to this pursuit. (Actually I will be able to in a week, insha'Allah, as my time at my job ends on Friday.) I have already begun and am now taking the free online courses at IOU, with the intention of going straight through the Bachelor's degree program and through my Masters. Insha'Allah by the time I am through with my Masters they will have the Doctorate program in place.

Alhamduillah, THESE CLASSES ARE HARD!!!!!

Now granted, as I said, I did not grow up in a Muslim household. I have never been to a mosque (there are none near me) and I have never even had the opportunity to sit down and talk with another Muslim face to face; the closest I have gotten was a 5 minute phone call with Sheikh Yusuf Estes, mashallah. I am starting from scratch. I have to constantly look up the meanings of Arabic terms that are naturally assumed that are known in the classes. On top of that I am trying to learn Arabic, and I am having a terrible time of it. It's hard to wrap my head around the different forms of the letters depending on where they are placed in a word, so I often confuse one letter for another. Insha'Allah it will become easier with practice. Other classes (for example, I am taking a lesson on tawheed right now) it is amazing how such a simple concept can become so complex when analyzed and looked at from varying perspectives.

But what I really wanted to say was, I now have an extremely deep respect for scholars. Those who have gone through years and years of study, have faced the same difficulties I am facing now, and all that, thank you. Jazak'Allah khair. And thank you especially to those who have put together classes for those like me who wish to become scholars as well.