assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
I do not know how to say this but recently I have been thinking about marriage again. The first time did not go so well and I was married to a really religious (son of an imam) muslim. I have been looking in my community but there mostly too young here. Then I was chatting on msn with an old friend and he remarked that it would be nice to meet me! The thing is I do not want to start a relationship with a nonmuslim...but then I have no other options and he has been really supportive to me (being recently divorced and a new mother). He is the only one around in my age group, and he actually seems to like me I would not meet him privately. he lives in a whole other city so I probably would not even meet him but I was thinking hypothetically...what is the chance I can convert him to Islam and then have a real muslim brother to marry?
assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
I do not know how to say this but recently I have been thinking about marriage again. The first time did not go so well and I was married to a really religious (son of an imam) muslim. I have been looking in my community but there mostly too young here. Then I was chatting on msn with an old friend and he remarked that it would be nice to meet me! The thing is I do not want to start a relationship with a nonmuslim...but then I have no other options and he has been really supportive to me (being recently divorced and a new mother). He is the only one around in my age group, and he actually seems to like me I would not meet him privately. he lives in a whole other city so I probably would not even meet him but I was thinking hypothetically...what is the chance I can convert him to Islam and then have a real muslim brother to marry?
dont take the easy way out
have you asked him if he would be willing to convert?
if he says no,then it completly unacceptable n haram
Verily, His Command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says to it, Be! and it is.
You mentioned in another thread that you have only recently divorced.
Given your recent life changes: divorce, birth, health problems and trying to get your baby back, perhaps it is too early to think about a new relationship - regardless if Muslim or non-Muslim??
Give yourself a little time, Layla! That's an awful lot of stress you are under ...
Do you have friends or people you can talk to?
You are in my thoughts and prayer.
Peace glo
Here I stand.
I can do no other.
May God help me.
Amen.
Come, let us worship and bow down •
and kneel before the Lord our Maker
[Psalm 95]
yea starting a new relationship so soon after your divorce and with a baby wont be the best thing in the world right now...just stay with your family if they are close by or friends and concentrate on being a mother and good muslimah...
you are all confused now with many changes happened in your life.....dont rush your decision my dear.....this is the worst time to take important decisions
Sis, you have been through so much recently, you probably feel lonely and looking for ways to overcome it, and having someone, especially a male companion seems comforting to you right now and thats why you are having these thoughts about marrying him. Thats a little too much and far thinking.
Right now you need to relax and get your life back to being normal. Concentrate on yourself and your baby. No need to jump into anything. Besides, marrying a non muslim isnt allowed and chatting with a man..muslim or non muslim isnt either. This is sinful and it will only make your life more complicated. So please sis, for your sake and your baby's..just leave these thoughts out for now.
There are so many good Muslim brothers out there, just be patient and never give up in making Dua.
does it matter if the guy is muslim or not and hes temptin you lol, surely you should be married before you get "tempted"
and if he was to become muslim, you need to make sure he is doin it because he genuine wants to be a muslim and not just for your sake sister
its a tricky situation, maybe you can find female friends for help and support, and also this guy if he is convertin for the right reason, then woo hoo
Jaa-Ro-Nee-Mo!!!
"they ask you when will the help of Allah (swt) come! Certainly Allah (Swt) help is always near"
Thanks for all your advice sisters. I guess a few of you were right and i should take time out for myself. I had an idea to start a youth group at the local masjid and maybe that is what I need to get out and meet new people.
assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
I do not know how to say this but recently I have been thinking about marriage again. The first time did not go so well and I was married to a really religious (son of an imam) muslim. I have been looking in my community but there mostly too young here. Then I was chatting on msn with an old friend and he remarked that it would be nice to meet me! The thing is I do not want to start a relationship with a nonmuslim...but then I have no other options and he has been really supportive to me (being recently divorced and a new mother). He is the only one around in my age group, and he actually seems to like me I would not meet him privately. he lives in a whole other city so I probably would not even meet him but I was thinking hypothetically...what is the chance I can convert him to Islam and then have a real muslim brother to marry?
Sister Layla... don't do it, if you continued to talk to him your love to him will increase till it reach a level that you wont be able to forget him even if he get married... think that he might be a reason for you to shake your faith..
Trust me don't do it, try to forget him, have you seen him before, has he? What if you met him and you both didn't like each other? Possible?
its not your responsibility to make dawa to him , if you know a trusted Imam or any trusted brother here you can give him his e-mail in order to make dawah to him , but you! No! Don't open the doors of fitnah.
another important thing is that normal sisters like their husbands Iman and faith to be higher than them, but your case is so strange, he is not a Muslim and you masha Allah is a good sister, I've read your reply in the (imam's wife thread) and it seems that your iman and knowledge is rising fast regarding that you are a revert masha Allah
Last edited by Makky; 10-01-2008 at 03:01 PM.
Atheists this is you situation now:
the Unbelievers say: "These are nothing but tales of the ancients." (25) Others they keep away from it and themselves they keep away; but they only destroy their own souls and they perceive it not. (26)(Translation of surat Al'anam)
Sis layla it is not worth it. At the end you will be drowning in a sea of confusion and questioning whether you have lost your faith. By the time you realize the mistake you have made all the temptations will vanish into thin air and you will certainly hate him for taking you further away from Allah and His Religion.
Trust me when I say end all connections until he reverts and make that clear to him. And if he doesn’t revert then you have made the right decisions by ending the relationship fast.
Allah knows best.
Again sis, please don’t get too involved. The consequences are far worse than anything you could imagine now.
70:28 Lo! the doom of their Lord is that before which none can feel secure
I think it is good that you made this thread and wondered about it, and consulted others. It is a good quality.
Would you feel comfortable knowing that you marry someone who didn't have the same belief as you, who would have different criteria from you, and many other reasons.
I know sister sometimes it can be so difficult to find good husbands, trust me I can understand how you feel, but don't let things get to you. Most likely things ill not be as smooth as they seem to be with this man, passion can seem real and then turn out to be false after a while.
What I would advise is try keep away gfrom men in general and spend time on yourself, take time for yourself and try cope with things between you and your Creator. In the meanwhile you can ask some reliable sisters to find a trustworthy man for ya, even if it takes years!
The path is long but I hope we meet,
After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.
A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.
jazak Allah Khayr everyone.
Wow people really have a lot of ideas from this post. I was really THAT into this guy to begin with...it was really more of a hypothetical question. Well, I took the initiative (wait for it) and asked a reliable muslim (who I have met in person and lives in my city) to help me find a brother in the community. It was a little embarrassing to do it but I used email to open the discussion which is not so bad as opening the topic face to face for the first time. InshaAllah maybe I will meet someone that way who is well suited for me. And if it takes years then at least I will have alot of alone time with my little one. Great times!
Last edited by layla is here; 10-02-2008 at 05:36 PM.
As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu to dear sister.
When giving da'wah, having taqwa is absolutely essential (along with sincerity (ikhlaas), and mercy (rahma), and knowledge (ilm)) because this is what happens. Shaytaan, the avowed enemy of every Muslim, will try anything he can to lead a person astray. Which means, he might even try to convince them to give da'wah... or rather, use the excuse of da'wah to lead them to a compromising situation. And this is why scholars rightly caution men and women both against giving personal da'wah to someone of the opposite sex. Because Shaytaan will use the opportunity very swiftly to lay a trap.
But if the person is someone whom you could marry, the better approach is to acquaint the seeker with another Muslim of their same sex, who you trust to convey the message of Islam.
As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu to dear sister.
When giving da'wah, having taqwa is absolutely essential (along with sincerity (ikhlaas), and mercy (rahma), and knowledge (ilm)) because this is what happens. Shaytaan, the avowed enemy of every Muslim, will try anything he can to lead a person astray. Which means, he might even try to convince them to give da'wah... or rather, use the excuse of da'wah to lead them to a compromising situation. And this is why scholars rightly caution men and women both against giving personal da'wah to someone of the opposite sex. Because Shaytaan will use the opportunity very swiftly to lay a trap.
But if the person is someone whom you could marry, the better approach is to acquaint the seeker with another Muslim of their same sex, who you trust to convey the message of Islam.
Well said sister. I could not agree more. This pushes me to delete the guy from my messenger and pray for him. allahu alim. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala send someone to guide him right. ameen.
I don't think you should try to convert him just because you want to marry him. A person should convert because they believe Islam is the true religion and nothing else. I think if a person converted just to marry someone it wouldn't be valid anyway. I think you should take some time for yourself and focus on your baby. Life after divorce can be hard just pray for strength. I wish you all the best.
Salaams
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assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhuI would not meet him privately. he lives in a whole other city so I probably would not even meet him but I was thinking hypothetically...what is the chance I can convert him to Islam and then have a real muslim brother to marry?
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