family woes

[lynn4now]

Assalamu AlakumWa Rahmatulah Wa Barakatuh,

Todayis a not so good day. I played verbal chess with my sister of which I livewith, (parents pasted way when I was younger) about beliefs. Our core values differingas of right now. Even before my study of Islam I believed there is only one Godand you should worship him in a shape form or fashion, and that a part of life’sjourney is finding the proper way to worship wither you are born into a religionto find it yourself God should be worshiped, everything else is semantics. Alasmy sister accepts my notion but does not accept my pursuit of Islam. Afterattending Jumah on Friday my soul was happy. It had the love that is found in religionwithout all the bells and whistles I describe that particular Mosques as differentyet the same like face in crowd that looked like a friend you once knew andlong to see again.(I know that all mosque are different). She basically saidtactfully that I cannot practice Islam under her roof. She feels I am spirituallyweak to be susceptible to Islam to turn away from death, burial and resurrectionwhile I feel I have evolved in my belief in Allah. There is a lot I don’t knowabout Islam but I’m happy learning. My life has had its trial some more thanother yet less than some but I have always been rooted in my faith in God. I don’tknow how to explain that in studying Islam I found what it is I felt I wasmissing in being Baptist. I enjoy the structure and that everything is facevalue no ones being for building fund or guilt tripping you to give or worship.No choir whipping you into an emotional tizzy or unknowledgeable preachers. Iam sure there are some negative because we are human practicing a religion but Ihave same joy I had then now praising Allah whole heartily. At the end of the dayI believe Ashadu anlla ilaaha illallah.

well it time for Dhuhr in my part of Texas, feel free to recommend a Dua for strength clarity or whatever else you think I might fit this situation.
P.s. when do you say dua during prayer?

[Qurratul Ayn]

My heart goes out to you little one after I read about the dilemma with your sister, but be steadfast in your belief of Allaah and keep doing what you are doing, it's good that you are going to the Masjid and learning about Islam. We are all learning still, knowledge is never-ending


Sooo, my dear, are you a Muslim now??? Yay if yay, OK if nay.

Make the Du'a at the end of Salaah. Hold your hands up to The Almighty & make Du'a sincerely with your mind and heart.

[lynn4now]

I'm I Muslim...there is a saying if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...I have been looking very water fowel-ish. I gonna say nay for now I am still learning and growing.

[Qurratul Ayn]

OK, but don't be deterred!!!

Keep on exploring and learning Islaam, and look through this forum too, there are wonderful thread and posts throughout the sections, so just explore them all!!!

[YusufNoor]

I'm I Muslim...there is a saying if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...I have been looking very water fowel-ish. I gonna say nay for now I am still learning and growing.

wow, Texas. there are some awesome Muslims in Texas, Nouman Ali Khan and Kamal El-Mekki. find their stuff, oh maybe here:

http://www.kalamullah.com/kamal-el-mekki.html

http://www.kalamullah.com/nouman-alikhan.html

though maybe not Br Nouman, check his stuff out anyway. just hearing him talk about the Qur'an can give you inspiration for like a week!

and my fav, Mufti Ismail Menk. his stuff is done in such a common sense fashion that you'll be able to use it to defend yourself and explain things so that even Americans can understand:







here's a start page for him on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/results?searc....1.m4adwprhbO8

She basically saidtactfully that I cannot practice Islam under her roof. She feels I am spirituallyweak to be susceptible to Islam to turn away from death, burial and resurrectionwhile I feel I have evolved in my belief in Allah.

uh, you haven't given up on death, burial and resurrection! not by a long shot. in fact, who could feel more secure on the Day of Resurrection than someone who has worshiped Allah alone, and has rid themselves of all polytheistic beliefs??? from An Nawai's 40 Hadeeth:

On the authority of Anas, who said: I heard the messenger of Allah say:

Allah the Almighty has said: "O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as its."

related by Al-Tirmithi, who said that it was a good and sound Hadith.

sounds like a fool-proof plan to me!

ma Salaama

[lynn4now]

Alll this has been encouraging and I have not been deterred I my Hijab upsets her but I will not take it off It is my supplication and a my Imaan worn proudly. I am not confused or weak but devoted to Allah.

[Jslayton]

sister, there are many people whom do not understand Islam, and will try to deter you away from Allah, must of it is because they only believe that what the media shows, or newspapers print about terrorism being Islamic. Which we all know is not true. However lots of americans have it in thier heads that its bad, they dont understand. you may lose part of the family you have now, but you will gain a bigger family, through your community of local muslims I wish I had more to say, But I too am new to Islam, but I found my peace in my heart since reverting, I hope you find yours too.

[shere0901]

Allah gives straight line those people, whose are chosen by Allah. So, Media,newspaper and other thinks is not factor. The root cause is we do not reach the verse of Allah to people whose are not yet Muslims. So, we should do it.

[lynn4now]

The family is undoubtibly livid, thats fine, I'm not upset and refused to be shamed or have my faith belittled. i try to present the peaceful aspect but I would be lying if I said I havent aviod my extended family..one battle at a time.

[YusufNoor]

do you live with your sister? what "brand" of Christian is she?

i would learn the fundamentals of Tawheed and challenge her on her belief in a trinity. after all, if she is going to be mad anyway, you could use it to your advantage.
if you watched Mufti Menk, who's videos i posted give you great examples on how to clarify Islamic practices and beliefs, you are ready for Dr Bilal Philips, Foundations of Islamic Studies. it's 21 parts, about 18 hours long and it gives you a great grasp of the basics (just work your way through the menu at the left:



another amazing set of lectures is Sh Jamal Zarabozo's Al Fatihah An In-Depth Study. it's 28 parts of audio taken from a course that he taught. i found it very helpful in that you can get a great idea of the meaning of the Arabic words used in the prayer. disc 4 is my favorite, it explains Alhamdulillah:

http://www.kalamullah.com/al-fatihah.html

here's a breakdown on the cds:

Al Fatihah An In-Depth Study by Jamal Zarabozo

01 Introduction and Place of Al-Fatihah
02 In The Name of Allah: Bismillah
03 Allah, Full of Mercy, Ever Merciful: Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim
04 Praise Be To Allah: Alhamdulillah
05 Lord of the Worlds: Raabil Alamin
06 Full of Mercy, Ever Merciful: Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim
07 Master of the Day of Judgment part 1: Maliki Yawmid Din
08 Master of the Day of Judgment part 2: Maliki Yawmid Din
09 You Alone Do We Worship part 1: Iyyaka Na’budu
10 You Alone Do We Worship part 2: Iyyaka Na’budu
11 We Worship and Seek Help In: cont and Iyyaka Nesta’eem
12 In You Alone Do We Seek Help: Iyyaka Nesta’eem
13 Trust and Reliance part 1
14 Trust and Reliance part 2
15 You Alone Do We Worship and seek Help From
16 Guide Us part 1
17 Guide Us part 2
18 The Straight Path
19 The Straight Path and The Du’aa
20 Those Blessed part 1
21 Those Blessed part 2
22 Those Blessed part 3
23 Wrath part 1
24 Wrath part 2
25 Those Astray
26 Place of Knowledge
27 Avoiding The Errant Path
28 Final Points

and if you just want some sweet recital, Haafiz Haroon Baqai:

http://www.kalamullah.com/haroon-baqai.html

the more that you learn, the easier it is to a) feel secure in you beliefs and b) explain those beliefs to someone else, in shaa Allah.

May Allah make it easy on you.

ma Salaama

[lynn4now]

alast my sister is baptist .....I am not one for arguments it is one of the uglist form of communication nor am I for religon bashing so it is not my strong suit. So I am at a lost what to do..No one should lose family over beliefs...

[cOsMiCiNtUiTiOn]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NO NO!!

Do not challenge your sister, good grief what kind of advice is that??

Sister Lynn, focus on the common ground you have with her, just because you chose Islam does not mean you butt heads you know? My family is catholic, so I'm familiar with living with different beliefs around. Islam is not all or nothing or us against them, it is the most beautiful religion I have witnessed. It is people who can make it ugly. The last thing you want to do is be in rivalry with ur family and the people around you.Be and let be, lead by example and just show love, ur best character and keep focus on teh things Islam and Christianity have in common, regardless of the "brand".

- cOsMiC

['Abd-al Latif]

do you live with your sister? what "brand" of Christian is she?

i would learn the fundamentals of Tawheed and challenge her on her belief in a trinity. after all, if she is going to be mad anyway, you could use it to your advantage.

[YusufNoor]

alast my sister is baptist .....I am not one for arguments it is one of the uglist form of communication nor am I for religon bashing so it is not my strong suit. So I am at a lost what to do..No one should lose family over beliefs...

i reckon i used a poor word sequence in that sentence. i'm not talking about arguing, nor religion bashing.

let me retry that:

your sister told you that cannot "practice Islam" under her roof. let me use this quote:

(Islam) is the most beautiful religion

what exactly does your sister mean? she probably doesn't mean, "don't be nice to her. don't be kind to her. don't be charitable. start stealing and using bad language. don't be respectful. don't be good to your neighbors. don't be modest." or just do those things outside? it would be pretty silly. but she doesn't understand that.

using those as examples, question her beliefs about your Din. you're challenging her [mis]concepts about Islam, and not her personally. other than the outward sign of a hijab, she probably knows ZERO about it. and yes, explaining Tawhid, is crucial. many Christians think we worship the moon god and a black box. because of their teachings, they think Islam is the religion of the antichrist. how are you going to get along if you don't challenge, or rather, explain those misconceptions away.

she may even think you have gone nuts. you have the proof that you haven't. if you don't, at least, try to explain it, how can you possibly change her mind?

and despite what anyone might think, trinity IS NOT in the Bible. you COULD make a case for 2 gods if you accept the Gospel of John, but not 3. the word wasn't even coined until the end of the 2nd Century. and it took many centuries after that for the "holy spirit" to be declared fully one third god or part of the trinity on an equal standing with the other 2. that is just simple, basic history. the majority of scholars agree that John wasn't written until about 95 CE.

you start with simple explanations of beautiful concepts, but eventually you will need to explain Tawhid. give her the right to know what she is mad about. and she's a Baptist? do you realize how close wusl is to baptism? a statement of faith and a cleansing? repeated at least weekly. we jst make our repentance to God directly.

take out the trinitarian/crucifiction concepts about Jesus, and our faiths are pretty similar. does she even know that we are awaiting the return of Jesus the Messiah? i doubt it. this is why her beliefs need to be challenged/explained correctly. the more that you know and understand, the easier it is to explain those in a non-confrontational manner.

explaining it is actually your job. even if she still doesn't like it or "get it", you get the reward and the piece of mind knowing that you did explain it.

my mom's Catholic [whole family, actually], but she knows the stuff i tell her makes sense. i always take the time to explain things to her. it is almost funny at times. i'll take 20 minutes explaining Tawhid. she'll claim that she understands. then, because i'm really sick, she'll say, "oh, you should pray to this saint or that saint" i'll be like, "mom! didn't you hear me explain why we don't pray to people?" she always says it, so i always make i explain we only pray to God(before hand, cuz i know it's coming). ten minutes later, she does it again! she's actually trying to be helpful, she just forgets.

your sister doesn't know she is wrong. it doesn't sound like you have the luxury of ignoring it. AND she's already angry. what could make more sense than clearing up her misconceptions?

is this clearer?

ma Salaama

[Sumaiya54]

The most important thing to do is show her through actions that you are a better person. Ex: do nice things, make sure she can see you are happier, ect., insha'Allah she will see that Islam has changed you into a better person. The most important thing to do is make Dua'a.

[Hulk]

The most important thing to do is show her through actions that you are a better person. Ex: do nice things, make sure she can see you are happier, ect., insha'Allah she will see that Islam has changed you into a better person. The most important thing to do is make Dua'a.

Indeed it could be through our strive to be better muslims that they see the beauty of Islam.