Question about Istikhar prayers and dreams

Salam Alaykum,

There was a non-Muslim lady who I crossed path about 5 months ago in my area who is going through hardship and life circumstances. She disappeared after 3 months. We’re both in our mid 30s.

I made duas and Tahajjud prayers to liberate her from her situation and to turn her life around. She gave me a reality of what real hardship is like but something really hit me emotionally about her for the first time later after she disappeared.

Looking back, I don’t talk to people outside of work due to terrible anciety and other mental issues but that one was sudden and I went out of character to look past her issues. I repeatedly asked Allah, why?

I made Istikhara prayers in the end pleading to give me a sign to move on or is she important then in the same night I had a “glimpse” of a dream about her with a Muslim female and a male showing up at my place to talk about marriage. I woke up for Fajr in disbelief and relayed this over and over.

Does anyone know if this is a sign that crossing path with each other was not an accident or is it just a dream?

Thanks

With Istikhara prayer, you leave it to Allah. If it is good and meant to happen, it will. You don’t need to pursue it. Since the lady is a non-Muslim, avoid falling into haram relationship. Regarding nonmuslims, a Muslim man can only marry a Christian or Jew woman (People of the Book), not atheist, agnostic, Buddhist, or other religion. You may also need to consider whether the woman is a monotheist. Speak to a scholar about the requirements for marrying a non-Muslim woman. Converting her to Islam is preferred because she will affect the religion and character of your children.

When making a marriage decision, You need to consider a lot of things such as their views on raising children, views on the trans and gender dysphoria issues (you don’t want her to turn your children into trans), religion, mixing with nonmahram men, etc. I believe only chaste women (muhsanat) from the People of the Book can get married to Muslim men.

Since she has disappeared, try to forget her and move on. Pursuing her or trying to find her can cause you to get into trouble as it may be regarded as stalking / harassment and there are strict laws against that.

If the situation changes and you see that you have reconnected by chance, do istikhara prayer again and proceed for marriage through your family / the Muslim community (imam, people in your masjid, etc).