I have been suffering with intrusive thoughts and whisperings for a while now and recently during my prayers, and its getting to the point where my chest feels burned up in anxiety when Salah time comes because I am scared of the thoughts that will come to my mind when prostrating before Allah, astaghhfullilah.
I make the intention before the prayer and feel happy, then I will be bowing and a terrible thought will cross my mind and I am so scared that Allah hu akbar will punish me for it I remain in that state of fear trying to shut the thoughts out, and obviously the harder I try the more insistent the thought is until I just cry or panic completely thinking I am doomed and have commited an unforgiveable sin.
I feel bad after every prayer now, and am in a constant state of anxiety and doubt about my worship. I try to think its all in my mind, but I doubt even that. I am so scared of Allah's punishment, and I hate feeling like this when I used to enjoy salah so much.
My question is, am I still in the folds of Islam having never made any intention but to follow Allah and the din and love Him, even with these terrible thoughts (which I really am not going to divulge as they are abominable and I pray for Allahs forgiveness for them). How can I make repentance, and how can I make the thoughts stop?
Alhamdulliah, and jazakallah if anyone can help me.
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