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Need advice!!

  1. #1
    AnonymousPoster's Avatar Full Member
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    Need advice!!

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    everyone. Hope all of u are well in health and imaan InshaAllah.

    Well I know u guys will say what I did isnt right in the first place, which I'm well aware of. But the thing is i really love this person. We met online...is where the problem lies. And he's ready to come down where I am and ask for my hand. He said he wont come unless my parents agree and he wont give up on me either way. He is ready to talk to them. Mashallah hes really a good person. Most of the time we talk about Islam whenever we do talk. And we agreed that i should tell my family soon before it goes totally haram and so we can make it halal. And its not right that im hiding it, which is true. I was plannin on tellin them this friday but im really scared. But also i dont want to lie or hide it from them. Plz brothers and sisters, i need your advice. JazakAllah Khair in advance.

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    Re: Need advice!!

    All the best.
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    Intisar's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Need advice!!

    Tell them ASAP and bring him with you, if your relationship is haraam even before you get married, then it's doomed from the start. Pray istikhara and ask Allaah for help - we seek guidance, refuge, and help from only Allaah Ta'ala. Tell your parents nicely, because Allaah Ta'ala has also told us to be good to your parents. Before he even comes over, why don't you talk to your parents about him? That way it will be easier and they won't just be surprised when they see him out of the blue.

    All the best, Allaah is the best of planners, keep that in mind. Fiamanillah.
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    *Acausal synchronicity*

    Please make du'a for my mom and Dad.
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    Re: Need advice!!

    sis. well we havent met and alhamdulillah havent done anything wrong, but we both know our feelings for each other are only getting stronger. He says im basically in charge right now because I'm not letting any wrong take place, even if we are chatting. And I can tell he is honest because he wont meet me until my parents talk to him or decide to meet him first. We've already agreed to this. He even said if my parents do agree, if they dont want me to get married yet, he has no problem with that as long as he knows he will in the future. I know my parents are thinkin bout marriage for me but they want me to finish my edu at least till my bachelors. I'm 2o right now and hes 26. I dunno what my parents will say about that, but myself, i dont care. We arent even in the same nationality, but that makes no difference to me, even my parents know that. Thanks for your advice sis.

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    Re: Need advice!!

    Age is nothing but a number, let's take our noble Prophet (SAWS) for example, when he married Khadija (RA) he was 25 and she was 15 years older than him. It's deen that matters, Allaah Ta'ala gave us partners so we can enjoy eachother, in a halal way of course, and not just for ''mating'' purposes. My advice is, talk to your parents ASAP and tell them what's up, it's your obligation to tell them and parents have the right to know. Tell him to be brave and to approach your wali if he's really interested in you. It may be hard, but Allaah Ta'ala makes it easy on those who seek his aid and he tests us all the time. This is your test of patience, and may Allaah Ta'ala grant you sabr (ameen). Be straight forward, trust me sis, it'll be less stress on your shoulders.
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    Re: Need advice!!

    Ameen. JazakAllah sis, wallah i just needed support as I'm very nervous. Please keep me in your du'as Inshallah. I trust that Allah(swt) will help me through this.

    FiAmanAllah
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    Re: Need advice!!

    Oh and as for him being ready...well he's more than ready actually Lol. He's just waiting on me to let my parents know about it.

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    Re: Need advice!!

    Wa iyyaki yaa ukhtii, no problem I'm here for all of my Muslimeen (brothers and sisters alike) so please don't ever hestitate to ask me for help.

    Make sure that you speak to your parents first and tell them that you really like this brother and you want to go about it in the most halal way possible, and that he wants to seek your hand in marriage. Then, the brother should actually go to your wali and ask for your hand in marriage. Inshaa Allaah all goes well ukhtii.
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    Re: Need advice!!

    Assalamu 'Alaikum,

    If i was to tell my dad i want to get married to someone i met online, i would have been in deep trouble!! If you know that the brother has good imaan, is knowledgeable in his deen, has a good character and will be able to take care of his family..then insha'Allah your parents won't refuse Anyways, best of luck ukhti!
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    Re: Need advice!!

    dont tell them how you met, just explain that he's a real good guy and that he's proposed 2 u. he is a friend though nothing more or yr parents will flip out. good luck sister let us know what happens.
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    Do we wink or act playfully with the opposite gender in in real life interaction? No (I hope). So behave modestly towards the opposite gender in your posts as well.
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