when i have problems, i usually go to my friend and talk to her about them. but my mum is against me doing this: she wants me to see her about my problems lol. i dont have a problem with this myself, but with somethings i just feel so awkward to talk to my mum about, and fel better to tlak to my friend about.
i need to get these off my chest. they are weighing me down, big time.
i justt dunno what to do. i just feel so stuck
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Very true words from JUNIOR........However i do understand that it sometimes may be easier to talk to your friend rather than your mum about delicate "issues"....................
Just to be on the safe side don't disclose ANY personal issues with your friend as later on in life she may throw them back into your face....... whereas your mother will never do this.
Try to be friends with your mum i have a nearly 15 year old daughter and we are friends MashAllah, then mother and daughter.............
Your mum loves you regardless and will always be there your friend may not always be with you or have your best interests at heart....:thankyou:
format_quote Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
if your mother is calling her beloved child to come to her then you have to go to her
its simple
Ur mother will know how to give u the better advice in everything more than ur friend i can assure u on that
Just need to learn how to open up
mm i cant think of any embarrasing topics that i wouldnt be able to joke with my mum about so maybe give more details on that
Yes it's hard i agree because before i became a mum to my own daughter i also had the unease of discussing things with my mum. My sisters were older and both married away from home and me was on me own......... I didn't really even like to talk to my friends about some things just went through it myself, learnt by my own experiences and learnt from around me........
Hey but your mum was a girl the same age as you are now once too........ So approach her and become her friend. You will find no truer friend than Allah and then your mother.............. Allah loves you 70x more than your mother, but paradise lies at your mothers feet.............:thankyou:
Aaaw Alhamdulallah I find it extreamly releving to tell my mother my problems no matter how embarrising....
And im sure that your mother can definatly give you better advice than your freind__..and mabye your mother will be happy knowing you trust her enough to talk about your personal problems...
Talk to your mother.....Cz mothers give the best advice
ok this might sound dumb but how does ur mum know you are talking to your friends about problems? did you tell her that?
umm, cos she knows that i go vist her, so i guess she assumes that i talk to her about my issues
format_quote Originally Posted by maryam87
Ur mother will know how to give u the better advice in everything more than ur friend i can assure u on that
yh, i agree. i dont think my friend, altho shell understand me, will not give me near good advice as my mother
Just need to learn how to open up
thats my prob, i dont know how to. i mean one of the reasons i feel comfy talking to my friend, is becasue i dont live with her. I mean when u live with someone and you tell them your secrets and that, i dno it just feels so awkard to be around that person.
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thats my prob, i dont know how to. i mean one of the reasons i feel comfy talking to my friend, is becasue i dont live with her. I mean when u live with someone and you tell them your secrets and that, i dno it just feels so awkard to be around that person.
I suggest start talking to her bout minor things, see how that goes
then as time goes on and you develop a better relationship with her u will see in no given time she will be the first person u will run to when in need
when i have problems, i usually go to my friend and talk to her about them. but my mum is against me doing this: she wants me to see her about my problems lol. i dont have a problem with this myself, but with somethings i just feel so awkward to talk to my mum about, and feel better to talk to my friend about.
i need to get these off my chest. they are weighing me down, big time.
i just dunno what to do. i just feel so stuck
your Mother is giving you correct Islamic advice! you are obliged to try to obey her.
however, you can have your Mother meet your friend so that she can see that your friend will give you correct Islamic advice on those issues that you feel uncomfortable talking to your Mother about.
then you can work on expanding those issues that you CAN deal with your Mother. the older that you get, the easier it will be, In Sha'a Allah!
May Allah[swt] give your Mother Shifa and make her daughter[meaning you] the coolness of her eyes!
Ya Rabbi, grant them goodness in this life, goodness in the Ahira and save them from the punishment of the hellfire!
Had the non-believer known of all the Mercy which is in the Hands of Allah, he would not lose hope of entering Paradise, and had the believer known of all the punishment which is present with Allah, he would not consider himself safe from the Hell-Fire http://www.muftimenk.co.za/Downloads.html
I can not speak from a Mum's point of view as I have never been a Mum. However having been a son and who lost his Mum a long time ago, I can honestly say that the person who knew my feelings and problems best, was my Mum. She knew what was best for me, not what I wanted to hear. I had friends who I confided in and I loved their advice. But, as I grew older I learned that my friends gave me the advice I wanted to hear, not what I needed to hear.
I can not speak from a Mum's point of view as I have never been a Mum. However having been a son and who lost his Mum a long time ago, I can honestly say that the person who knew my feelings and problems best, was my Mum. She knew what was best for me, not what I wanted to hear. I had friends who I confided in and I loved their advice. But, as I grew older I learned that my friends gave me the advice I wanted to hear, not what I needed to hear.
Woodrow, I totally agree. Friends to be of the same view and state of mind we usually are in and their advice is based on that and is only twisted in a version that seems sweeter and easier to take on.
On the other hand,nothing beats a mothers love, advice and desire for her children to be the best they can. She guides with the bigger picture in mind.
Anonymous,
Give yuor mum a break and you might just be amazed at how easy it is to talk to her. She may reproach you for a careless word, thought or action but in the end, she has said enough duas to make her the lovely mum that she is to you.
I couldnt read all the posts, but as a mother i can tell you that i'd never feel awkward or embarrassed if my son came to me with a problem. I'm sure your mother would feel the same. After all sis, no one else can feel more for you than your mother hence her advice will be the most genuine for your welfare. Please trust her. She is asking you because she can't possibly know what advice you may be being given from your friends. You are so lucky she is there for you like that.
format_quote Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
I couldnt read all the posts, but as a mother i can tell you that i'd never feel awkward or embarrassed if my son came to me with a problem. I'm sure your mother would feel the same. After all sis, no one else can feel more for you than your mother hence her advice will be the most genuine for your welfare. Please trust her. She is asking you because she can't possibly know what advice you may be being given from your friends. You are so lucky she is there for you like that.
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Very true words from JUNIOR........However i do understand that it sometimes may be easier to talk to your friend rather than your mum about delicate "issues"....................
:thankyou:
format_quote Originally Posted by J.U.N.I.O.R
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