I don't know

[sevgi]

Ok, my turn to vent.

I don't know what is wrong with me tonight. Well, it is actually 4am where I live. I can't seem to grasp what is happening inside me.

I was angry earlier, due to an annoying encounter on another forum which I joined a few days ago. See, I have little to no tolerance sometimes when people act silly. I like things to be professional and orderly...so when I got annoyed on the forum, the way the forum officials reacted just angered me further.

I did live another encounter which frustrated me...but these things don't seem to be the problem.

To tell you the truth, I didn't get any work done and I have probably been weeping for a good four hours.

It started when I thought of our prophet sallalahu alayhi wa sallam. I just thought about how I wish I could be someone who puts a smile on his face. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to make him smile..but I just feel disgusting lately. I feel like I have let him down...for the first time I just felt so grateful to him...if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have my faith...but still, I don't appreciate sincerely.

Then I started thinking about the poor kids in Palestine. We are from such opposite worlds and I'm such a spoilt piece of crap. They are a thousand times more deserved of what I have...Just those kids...I don't know. Those dads who cry because they can't provide for and protect their families.

I don't know. I'm being emo. I know this isn't healthy...but I can't seem to come in the way of it today.

Am I a bad person for sharing this? Gah. I don't know what the purpose of this post is. I guess I feel like something is wrong on a deeper note and I feel like getting something of my chest, even if it isn't the real issue.

[sevgi]

Man I am such a sook. Urgh.

[czgibson]

Greetings,

We all feel down every now and then. Just keep telling yourself that better times will come.

I hope things work out for you and you feel better soon.

Also, getting some sleep would definitely be a good idea.

Peace

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I don't know. I'm being emo. I know this isn't healthy...but I can't seem to come in the way of it today.

nah its very healthy.

keep it up, seriously.

loving rasoolullah (sallallahi alaihi wasallaam) enough to shed tears, hating the bad things of yourself etc, its very praiseworthy.

however balance it out, hope for Allah, smile at the thought of rasoolullah and his sahabi's, feel tru love for Allaah... balance it. not all misery, but happiness and peace...

thats wat i feel anyway wen i think bout them. true peace...

[Danah]

my dear its totally fine to take out what u have in ur chest....and ur post is just reminding me of myself few days back I was exactly at the same position especially in ur forum story u mentioned...I had the same thing with another forum

when u feel like u cant handle things around u, just take a break from everything and think calmly on whats going on around u and why things turn to that. make it a conversation between u and urself.
sometimes we feel that we are not doing what we are supposed to as muslims, ignoring our people, abandon the sunnah of our prophet and many other things that Allah knows about.
I think being in such situation is good for us to make us feel stronger when we correcting ourselves, know what we have done, and always change to the better

and I think being wake until such a late hour is what made u feel even worse sis, try to get some rest from many things that have been annoying u and start again strongly

EDIT: All of what I can say is the may Allah grant u the inner peace and make things always easy for u sis

[BNDGR]

Asalam alaikum Sis,
Sometimes it just take ones stupid thing to set us off on a downward spiral. I think we have all gone thru this...
Also I'm sure that you could have put a smile on Prophet Muhammed's (s.a.w)
face he was such a kind, just and merciful person! He had love for everyone!
Inshallah I want to try to control myself and my feelings like that.
Don't beat yourself up!!!!!!!! We are blessed in comparison to soo many people around the world, just be humble and remember how blessed you really are!

[muslim sister)]

I don't know. I'm being emo. I know this isn't healthy...but I can't seem to come in the way of it today.

It is normal being emotional especially for us sisters,it happens to me as well sometimes I just get too emotional for no reason,just have some sleep InshaAllah tomorrow everything will be allright

[sevgi]

Thank you guys so very much.