format_quote Originally Posted by
Sampharo
Dear anonymous,
I have read your post carefully, and I can appreciate your feelings and emotions, and I can also tell very clearly that your father has installed in you through action rather than words, the ethics and morality of what a good muslim man is. That is a legacy that he can be proud of.
You owe it to him to pray for mercy and his forgiveness of any sins every day, with every prayer. It is one of only three ways a person can continue to earn good deeds after his death, that is a good son to make prayers for him. You can also use some of your money that you inherit to set up an ongoing charitable setting (Sadaqa Jariya), like pay for a part of the foundation of a masjid or buy medical equipment for a charitable hospital. He gets rewards every time someone prays in the masjid or someone gets treated using those equipment.
However, even though your father told you to do as you please with the lawyer with the money, trusting you and your decision, you actually must obey Allah's shariah laws of inheritance, not your desires, be it your father's or yours.
If he has not left a Will, then the money and property HAS to be distributed as per Shariah. That is one-eighth of the total estate to your mother, his widow, before you distribute the money EQUALLY amongst you and your brothers.
If your brothers agree to the idea of taking the property they used to manage, you MUST get them valuated, and then offset from the cash money whatever needs to be offset in order for all of you to get equal amounts.
These are of course generalities, and you need to consult a proper scholar with your precise family members and precise estate details so that he tells you the proper shariah distribution. You will be questioned on the day of judgement if you neglect fulfilling this, no matter what you do otherwise and no matter how fairly you think you did it.
In case your father left a Will, or told you to do something, that is only valid up to a third of the estate by the way.
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Now as for your relatives. You are not required to give anyone any money, unless they are entitled under Islamic shariah for some inheritance. Be it they were nice or bad to you, their rights need to reach them, and if there are none, then that is it.
After that, you are of course not required to send them any money that they do not need for necessity. The charity is indeed better for relatives than strangers, but that is if they are in need. If they are not then you are surely wasting God's gift, and if you know things like they are gambling or using them in ill-ways, you are OBLIGATED not to give them any money.
If one of the relatives falls into hardship, then you can give money ONLY as much as needed to meet the great necessity (shelter, sustenance, clothing etc.). So if they need rent before being evicted, or money to buy their basic groceries and food needs, then of course you should provide (unless you know they're lying and will use in other useless or evil ways), regardless of your feelings towards them, as you should remember you are doing this for Allah's sake, not for theirs.
But more importantly, hats off to your father. I pray that Allah receives him with forgiveness and mercy and satisfaction, for leading a righteous life, being generous with his kin, and spending enough effort and time with his son that you turned out this loyal and pious, to ask about what is cruel or not regarding those who have hurt you. I hope you will remember not to neglect my suggestion regarding the daily supplication on his behalf and setting a running charity.
Wassalamu Alaikom
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