Mothers day ( 3rd March ) in the UK is fast approaching and im really a little unsure about what to do about it.
I am aware that islam teaches muslims not to celebrate birthdays, valentines and such, and that for instance mothers day is everyday
And then also islam teaches muslims to respect, love and cherish their parents.
This is all well and said if you grew up as a muslim and in a musilm household.
But i did not. My mother is Christian and some of these social events like birthdays and mothers day is hard for me to know what im doing correctly.
For instance it was my birthday last week, and because it was the first time in years my mother actually had a day off from work on this day, she went ahead and made plans to sort of 'celebrate' this. I respected her wishes and went along with it, allthough we did have a conversation and i mentioned to her that birthdays etc were not celebrated in islam, and she replied
" thats ok, you dont have to celebrate, but i want to celebrate the day i gave birth to you, so if i can make you feel special today i will be happy for the rest of the year"
So with the knowledge that doing this would make my mother happy i went ahead and enjoyed the day. No parties or anything, a day out to a museum and a meal afterwards. So i think and hope inshaAllah i did the right thing on this account...
now getting back to mothers day..
I know 100% that if i didnt get a card my mother would be hurt and upset that i didnt acknowledge the day. I was planning to buy a big bunch of flowers and a card, i know for my mom a card would be enough but i thought since im not rich why couldnt i spend a few quid at least on this day which is special for her.
So as islam teaches us not to celebrate such days yet at the same time to respect and love your parents, this can be quite confussing when your a member of an inter-faith family.
Im intrested to know how other reverts have handled situations like this.
Obviously its love. How could a piece of card compare?
Its simply a gesture which in the past - befor i reverted i would always send a card because i would not be able to see her. For me, Id call it more tradition than religious, but i really dont know the ethics behind 'mothers day' ive just always known to my mother this day is for her to relax, unwind and be spoiled with love ( with a few gifts thrown in as suprises ). I have a very complicated family system so spending time with her is very difficult.
Would giving a piece of paper ( a card ) with some well wishes on ( non religious ) and a small gift ( on a day my mother considers 'special' ) really be putting my own faith into question?
Must i completely ignore her faith, beliefs and traditions and simply follow islam, even tho islam teaches us to respect our parents?
Of course id love to send a card and flowers and spoil my mom with love everyday, but that isnt practicle.
trying to find a blanace is difficult, thats why i asked what other reverts have done in situations like this...
But also come to think of it... For those who have been born and brought up in a muslim household... regardless of mothers day etc, do you buy your mom flowers or maybe a gift with a card that has some well wishes on ? and how often?
Maybe i could set aside this date and tell my mom i will suprise her later in the month or something... But then.. would she be offended that i didnt wish her ' a happy mothers day' ?
If you feel you would like to show your love for your mother, then go ahead and show her 365 days a year. Including this day that you call "mother's day" :rolleyes:
There is no imitation involved. Focus on your intentions and the things you do on behalf of Islam and you are in no way imitating non-believers.
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Obviously its love. How could a piece of card compare?
Its simply a gesture which in the past - befor i reverted i would always send a card because i would not be able to see her. For me, Id call it more tradition than religious, but i really dont know the ethics behind 'mothers day' ive just always known to my mother this day is for her to relax, unwind and be spoiled with love ( with a few gifts thrown in as suprises ). I have a very complicated family system so spending time with her is very difficult.
Would giving a piece of paper ( a card ) with some well wishes on ( non religious ) and a small gift ( on a day my mother considers 'special' ) really be putting my own faith into question?
Must i completely ignore her faith, beliefs and traditions and simply follow islam, even tho islam teaches us to respect our parents?
Of course id love to send a card and flowers and spoil my mom with love everyday, but that isnt practicle.
trying to find a blanace is difficult, thats why i asked what other reverts have done in situations like this...
But also come to think of it... For those who have been born and brought up in a muslim household... regardless of mothers day etc, do you buy your mom flowers or maybe a gift with a card that has some well wishes on ? and how often?
Maybe i could set aside this date and tell my mom i will suprise her later in the month or something... But then.. would she be offended that i didnt wish her ' a happy mothers day' ?
when you can snatch the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to go...
my own opinion is that until you can figure out something Islamically better, buy the card.
OR buy her some cool Islamic stuff instead, such as clothing that she might like or some good lecture or book. [a copy of the movie The Message, maybe...]
In Sha'a Allah there will be a day when you make her feel like everyday is Mothers' Day. it's actually part of your Deen, do something for your Mom on Mother's Day and then the next month tell her that you have to "cover" that you did something on Mother's Day and do something special AGAIN!
and the next month and the next month and the next month...
until you can do bi-weekly!
Had the non-believer known of all the Mercy which is in the Hands of Allah, he would not lose hope of entering Paradise, and had the believer known of all the punishment which is present with Allah, he would not consider himself safe from the Hell-Fire http://www.muftimenk.co.za/Downloads.html
ok just to put things straight.
I am not IMITATING, this is something that is important to my mother who is NOT muslim.
And i do show her love everyday to the best of my abilities, i dont believe in such days like mothers day or valentines day etc. I honour her everyday and thank Allah everyday for blessing me with a loving mother, I do not limit this to one day. Nor do i need to be questioned that i am 'imitating', or that i only show her affection and love on ONLY one day.
What is important to me is my mothers HAPPYNESS. I guess some of you would think it right just to ignore her feelings for fear of 'imitating'.
I know islam teaches very important lessons regarding 'respecting' your parents, but how do you deal with this when your mother is not a muslim?
In Sha'a Allah there will be a day when you make her feel like everyday is Mothers' Day. it's actually part of your Deen, do something for your Mom on Mother's Day and then the next month tell her that you have to "cover" that you did something on Mother's Day and do something special AGAIN!
and the next month and the next month and the next month...
until you can do bi-weekly!
i like this idea very much! I guess i could use Sunday ( Mothers Day - officially in the uk ) as a starting block and then make frequent suprises after that so that then next year, it wont be an issue, money is a problem ( isnt it always in the world were livign in today ) but i will make more of an effort to save harder and to spoil my mom with love everytime i see her... which now is around 1-2 times a week... but sometimes i dont see her for months... even if she lives 18 miles away.. ( complicated family )
i won't advise you but i agree with the above - it's all about finding balance.
and i think you raised a good question.
Yea... where is the balance... i cant treat my mother as a Muslim and do Islamic things with her because she is very strong in her Christian Faith and i try and avoid 'religious conversation' with her for now, until of course i am more knowledgable inshaAllah.
If Vedad, IslamiCompare and aminahgorilla are reverts with families of different faiths i would like to know how you dealt with situations like this, and if your not reverts is it possible for you to use empathy and put yourself in my place and give advice to how you would deal with it rather than just stating 'imitation' is not allowed ( which i allready know )
Im looking for co-existance of my family being Muslim/Christian, not create conflict.
To be honest respecting other peoples religious days wouldn't hurt (my religion don't disrespect) Yes I know Mothers Day is not a religious day. I think it's complete nonsense when some Muslims decide to attack other ways that are diffrent, yet they demand they are respected but do not show the same courtesy!
I've got numerous Muslim friends, who respect Sikh holy days, and vice versa. Only recently have I heard/seen Muslims suddenly introduce this disrespect for other people, and their ways. This Isn't Satan worship!
My advice is, perhaps go out somewhere with your mother, also, Muslims buy Eid cards so why can't you buy your mum a Mothers Day card stating how you love her. Although you'll get a few extremist views (& have) God sees within your heart, so you should not upset your mum, or what's the point in following Islam.
Last edited by AvarAllahNoor; 02-27-2008 at 08:44 AM.
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My advice is, perhaps go out somewhere with your mother, also, Muslims buy Eid cards so why can't you buy your mum a Mothers Day card stating how you love her. Although you'll get a few extremist views (& have) God sees within your heart, so you should not upset your mum, or what's the point in following Islam. [/B]
What he said. If failure to do so will be considered disprespectful, or is likely to upset your mother just buy her the card, and maybe some flowers and chocs to boot. I haven't seen an even vaguely plausible reason in this thread for not doing so, even from what I assume to be the Islamic perspective. Of course, spend time with her as well if you can but doing one is no reason not to do the other. It is not a religious thing, so how can it possibly have anything to do with "imitating the disbelievers"?
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