as the title says it. im scared of getting married. actually rather im scared of the mentality of my future hubbi. you see i grew up seeing my mum copping a beating almost everyday from my dad :'( and well ive just grown a fear/hatred/insecurity of men. im worried about the guy i will, (inshllah) get married to.
in islam the hubbi's rights are great and i will inshallah treat my hubbi well and all, but what if i get someone who abuses/uses his rights over me. what if he turns out to be the biggest idiot :X ill feel so trapped and irritated!:enough!: what do i do then?
this is just weighing me down
Last edited by anonymous; 08-11-2008 at 09:10 AM.
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Is there a man you are going to marry, or are you just speaking hypothetically?
I suggest that you find help in working through the abuse you witnessed as a child. No wonder it has affected how you view men ...
I also suggest you take a lot of time to get to know (and trust) your hubby-to-be.
There are many wonderful loving and caring men out there - but you have to recognise that for yourself!
To be honest (and this is probably completely unIslamic), I think that spending time (appropriately and safely) with men may help you to learn that not all men are evil!
Don't rush into anything. Take your time and be patient! Seek professional help.
I hope things will work out for you,and you find the best man IN THE WORLD!
Peace glo
Here I stand.
I can do no other.
May God help me.
Amen.
Come, let us worship and bow down •
and kneel before the Lord our Maker
[Psalm 95]
salam alaikum sis, who said in islam that the hubby's rights are greater???????
men and women are equal in islam so dont forget that.
stick to your salah sis and make loads of dua and ask Allah swt to bestow upon you a righteous husband....
or if it has already been arranged then pray for this guy Insha'Allah i pray that Allah swt answers all your duas and bestows your future marriage Insha'Allah with many barakahs and happiness and joy.
ma salama
I know that at times i may be annoying or mistaken when i say some things or it may unintentionally God forbid offend u & if that is the case then i sincerely apologise from the bottom of my heart & ask Allah swt's & ur forgiveness, so please do Insha'Allah forgive me and correct me.
men and women have equal rights in marriage!!!!!!!!
sister, not all men are like that, its easy to do, but you shouldnt base your assumptions on a majority of people, just because of one or a few of them, thats like me sayin, all bangalis love fish but not all of them do, or all blacks are thiefs, because its not true
and even if majority of men are fools or idiots, remember there are still some decent people out there, like the Prophet (saw) he was a man! remember enough said!
now marriage fear, you cant know somethin till you actually see it, before you marry the person, your allowed to see them and even arrange a halaal meetin, so you can get to know them! dont be afraid of somethin, you aint experienced thats my advice
Jaa-Ro-Nee-Mo!!!
"they ask you when will the help of Allah (swt) come! Certainly Allah (Swt) help is always near"
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:'( and well ive just grown a fear/hatred/insecurity of men. 
but not all of them do, or all blacks are thiefs, because its not true
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