salam walakum to all.

**Khadijah1** · 11-21-2013

I go by the name Khadijah

I am now 46 years old and grew up in a small town located in the Panhandle of Florida. The walk in life of learning and gaining Knowledge I have come to find my peace and place in life is with Allah and Islam.

I have been on my spiritual quest since I was a little girl and I had that one question that no one could answer, and many times got yelled at… that questions was WHY…so in my studies of over 18 different Religions, trying to find my way, looking for what is call the Holy Grail to the Fountain of youth. I came to learn that the Holy Grail is your heart and the Fountain of youth is your mind and my peace was Islam.

When it came to Religion, I would tell people Religion causes War while Spirituality brings life, and for 13 years when someone asked me what religion I was… I just said I was a Spiritualist Independent and that seem to never be questioned. Today I know that I am a Muslim and the Islamic way is my home and even though there are many people still against Muslims; I am proud to say I am an American Muslim. I became more serious about Religion when I had a car accident in 2003. This accident that everyone said I should have died. At that time I worked for the State as a Correctional Officer.

Taking 15 staples to close up the cut on the side of my head, released by the hospital I was now cleared to go back to work only 3 hours after the accident. Shorthanded at work and due to not taking any pain medication I returned to the facility, but at the same time I truly believed if I went home I would die. I was not ready to die; I had two small boys I had been raising up as a single mother and too much still left to do…was my thinking. Two days later I ended up calling a friend to drive me to the hospital where I passed out; I had an infection from the staples and a full concussion. I believed that night of the accident that two angels were watching over me.

Then after I saw the car and heard the story from others, I am blessed. I will admit that going back to work right after that type of accident was a lesson learned and what could be called stupid thinking.

All I can say is Allah works in ways only he knows and if it really was that stupid my eyes would not have opened more to seeing what I needed to see. I learned that Inmates were people too. I learned that just because you wear a badge does not mean you are always good. I learned that not only was it inmates against officers or inmates against inmates I also learned there are Officers against Officers and they like to use the power they think they hold and it is an evil place to work, but that is another story on its own. My first encounter with Islam was in the prison system where I worked and the month of Ramadan was coming therefore, as an officer we had to know what it was about.

I wanted to learn more but with a busy lifestyle and only reading when I could about this subject my learning went slowly. I became an Ordained Minister in October of 2003 being non-denominational and my training in Ministry becoming more serious and still watching 675 men every day and/or night you hear stories and you see things that the outside society will never see and rarely hear for it truly is another world. In 2005 I made a leap of faith and I did the best thing that would change my life; I opened up my business and quit working for the State

Several years later and while at the local hangout where I live, talking to a good friend over a cup of coffee whom I had known for over 8 years, I brought up how I had met a Muslim girl named Brook and she made me realize that for the last several years I had been living just like the ways of being a Muslim and I told him I didn’t realize all I had to do was say Ash hadu alla ilaha illa Allah, wa ash hadu anna Mohammadan abduhu wa rasuluhu.

All I heard him say to me was “Welcome home, I was wondering when you would find your way”. I was shocked!!!! I come to find out he was Muslim also, never did he say anything to me and that was in Sept 2011. I then decided to publicly convert at the local Mosque in Oct of 2011 and it has been a test ever since..

Which now knowing it is for the sake of Allah i do not mind. right now i have become I feel so advanced that i am hitting a wall and need to move to a bigger place that has more muslims or move to the middle east where my heart i feel belongs.

**Nur Student** · 11-21-2013

Wa alaykum salam Sister,

Welcome to the forum. I hope you'll enjoy being here.

If you don't mind, can you edit your post so that everybody can easily read your amazing story? It is hard to read when it is in italic, and one single long paragraph.

**Khadijah1** · 11-21-2013

walalkum salam sister.. i would go back and edit it.. When i wrote it, it posted came all together.. and i can't seem to go back and edit it.. it is not allowing me too