I was with friends and we talked about marriage, we talked about 4 wives in islam.
what i am confused is about the rights of a man and women and the reason to marry more than 1 wive.
they said, if a man want another wife, he has to ask the first wife for her permission because it is her right to know and what about the man's rights? I wonder if that is true or not.
also, they said, there must be a reason to marry another wive if the first wive have a problem with birth or anything other situation such as illness or whatever it is. I am not sure about having a "reason" to marry another wive as the man's rights seem to clash with reasoning.
Please clarify for me.
wasalam.
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they said, if a man want another wife, he has to ask the first wife for her permission
no , it's not a must. At least , not mentioned in holy Quran.
there must be a reason to marry another wive if the first wive have a problem with birth or anything other situation such as illness or whatever it is.
no such verse in holy Quran.
related links.
Women inIslam Versus Women in the Judaeo-Christian Tradition The Myth and The Reality
By: Sherif Abdel Azim, Ph.D.- Queens University, Kingston, Ontario, Canada
I was with friends and we talked about marriage, we talked about 4 wives in islam.
what i am confused is about the rights of a man and women and the reason to marry more than 1 wive.
they said, if a man want another wife, he has to ask the first wife for her permission because it is her right to know and what about the man's rights? I wonder if that is true or not.
also, they said, there must be a reason to marry another wive if the first wive have a problem with birth or anything other situation such as illness or whatever it is. I am not sure about having a "reason" to marry another wive as the man's rights seem to clash with reasoning.
alhamduillah, these links are the great sources BUT "they said, if a man want another wife, he has to ask the first wife for her permission because it is her right to know" seem to condriact the sources.
For example, a man who is not satisifed with his wife and wants another wife but he has to ask her for permission?
Also, "reasoning" fits the criteria of those sources but then the islamic society of women in the UK refutes the idea of "polygamy".
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...BUT "they said, if a man want another wife, he has to ask the first wife for her permission ".
who are ' they ' ?? Tell them to bring proof to justify their claim.
".
the islamic society of women in the UK refutes the idea of "polygamy".
it does not matter who accepts or refutes the laws of Allah , His laws will remain valid till the last day.
It's not a must for any wife to accept another wife. If she can't tolerate it , then she can stay in seperation or ask husband to divorce her . But she should give a try as many Prophets pbut had more than one wife .
And Allah Knows Best.
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
well, they are my friends. they claim to say that men and women have equal rights therefore women have right to know/give permission to.
What authority do your "friends" have to over rule the permission Allah has given to men to marry more than one wife? There is no such condition that a man has to gain permission from his first wife in order to get married again. If that were the case then the majority of women would never allow their husbands to marry another wife and polygamy would be non existant.
The only condition Allah has put on men is that he treat his views equally and fairly. Faure to do so is a major sin resulting in the man being half paralysed on the day of judgement. So it is a big responsibility not to be taken lightly. What a women can do is make it a condition prior to marriage that he cannot marry another wife whilst his current wife is alive and healthy.
Men are polygamous by nature and on top of that there are already far more women than men looking for marriage at the moment. So there is a lot of wisdom in polygamous marriages but it is only for some men. Most are happy and content with one wife but circumstances change.
So you must warn your friends not to hold such dangerous views for tgey are putting their deen and deeds at risk. One must NEVER make what is permissable as impermissable otherwise they risk being out of the fold of Islam.
well, they are my friends. they claim to say that men and women have equal rights therefore women have right to know/give permission to.
equal rights don't mean ' same ' rights in everything. In some cases , women have 'more ' rights than men . Such as it's not a must for women to earn for herself or any of the family members. But it's men's responsiblity. If a wife is rich and husband is poor , still it's husband's duty to spend for wife and not the vice versa .
It's a must for men to go to war if necessary . Women's are not obliged to go to war . Men should offer salat at mosque but women will get same rewards as men if they offer salat at home etc.
We may argue if husband must inform wife about his another wife. If not , then in many cases , he will have to lie . Where he will stay tonight , where is he spending money etc ? So , to avoid lies , there is no way but to inform wife about another marriage .
And Allah Knows Best.
Christ will never be proud to reject to be a slave to God .....holy Quran, chapter Women , 4: 172
I don't know what's a name for men like this. Their religion in ID cards is Islam, but they often miss salah, miss fasting, never pay zakah, and do not know anything about Islamic knowledge. However, when their wives found them have other wives, suddenly these "Muslims by ID cards" turn into "temporary scholars" and tell their wives : in Islam men are allowed to marry up to 4 wives, in Islam men do not need permission to marry new wives, in Islam, .... in Islam .... in Islam ....
Sadly, some of people like these are my friends.
Muslim men are allowed to marry up to 4 wives, and do not need permission to marry the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th wife. This is a privilege that given only to the male Muslims. But unfortunately this is the privilege that commonly misused by people who follow their lust. They made a statement "Islam allow men to marry more than wife, because men would not satisfied if marry only one woman. So, we should marry more than one wife or we will fall into zina" ..... Astaghfirullah ! they use Islam to legitimate their lusty behavior ! No wonder if in Hollywood movies Muslims usually described as sex maniac, beside terrorists.
Yes, Muslim males have this privilege, but unfortunately, many Muslim males who use this privilege forgot, behind every privilege there is a responsibility. Muslim males are allowed to marry up to 4 wives but must always fair. Now open your eyes and look around, count, how many 'polygamy men' who can fair to all of their wives and can make their wives always happy, and how many 'polygamy men' who unfair and their wives are unhappy ?. The first one are smaller in number than the second.
Okay, let me remind you the purpose of marriage. Scholars in my place said, the purpose of marriage is to build a family that Sakinah, Mawadah, wa Rahmah. No matter how many wives in the family.
Sakinah. Family live peacefully, and free from fear. The wife is not afraid to the husband, the husband is not afraid to the wife. The one does not impose the will on the other. Both parties respect each other, feel comfort and enjoy this marriage life.
Mawadah. Something that binds the husband and wife as a couple who love each other. The one always care to the other. Husband always makes the wife happy, the wife always makes the husband happy.
InshaAllah, if husband and wife can build Sakinah and Mawadah atmosphere between them, then Rahmah (bless) would comes to the family.
I have heard a true story from a wife who lives in polygamy marriage, together with 3 other wives. She's happy because her husband (who is Islamic teacher and success businessman) always fair to all wives in the family. The husband could build friendly atmosphere between all wives. Relationship between a wife and other wives is good, they respect each other.
That's the example of the right polygamy. A polygamy where the wives and the husband are happy to live in.
So, brothers, would you marry more than one wife in polygamy marriage ?. If you can build the Sakinah and Mawadah family like that man, go ahead.
But if marry more than one wife makes your wives live in fear, always afraid you will not fair, always afraid you will not love them anymore, .... don't marry more than one wife. If marry more than one wife makes you lose your love to the old wife, or makes your old wife lose her love to you, .... don't marry more than one wife. Because rahmah would not comes to you.
Now, without intention to show off. It's not difficult for me to marry more than one wife. I know how to get woman. But I would not do it.
My wife wish me, not to have another wife. My wife is a good wife who always serve me with the best service that she can give. She always try to make me happy. So, if my wife always want to make me happy, should I make her unhappy ?. That's why I never want to marry more than one woman although as Muslim male I am allowed to do it.
It's true, Muslim males are allowed to marry up to 4 wives. But not true if Muslim males are obligated to marry more than one wife.
well, they are my friends. they claim to say that men and women have equal rights therefore women have right to know/give permission to.
If any man had any respect for his wife he would tell her. There is no secret marriage in islam. He dont need her permisssion but she can divorce him if she really cant stand it.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one.." [Bukhaari].
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