for my blog im addressing the intermingling of the opposite gender and the likes. i want to know if there has been any artistes written previously concerning how to deal with mixed environments such as work and uni, etc. i would write something myself, except i don't have the time or knowledge. any ideas where i can get anything like this from??
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
whilst im at it, could i get some feedback on this article i wrote. a few months a sister on another forum suggest that i write about the dangers of internet intermingling and how one may use the internet for ill intentions in regards to the opposite gender.
your thoughts?
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When interacting with the opposite gender, sometimes a situation may occur which may cause us to lapse from upholding the required etiquette. As result, we may find ourselves letting our guard down, opening the doors to a potential disaster.
One such situation which may cause us to slip in this regard is interacting with the opposite gender online. It may be easy to slip in this regard, as one cannot directly see or talk to the other, thus a certain mindset begins to form in that we trick ourselves to believe that it is okay, there is little or no risk involved and/or that we have nothing to lose.
Such a pattern of thinking has the potential to lead to a dangerous situation/s for two important reasons
1. by being unmindful and deceiving our ourselves to believe such behavior is acceptable, we put ourselves in a situation where we easily pay no attention to our actions by seeing them as something minor, eventually reaching the stage where we disregard the sin altogether via the means that had originally caused us to fall into a greater predicament (i.e. disregard for the sin), that is deceiving ourselves and coming up with excuses to justify our actions.
2. How the effects of knowing that we are interacting from behind a screen, may have on us. When sitting behind a screen, it is easy to forget that since we aren’t speaking face to face or are in the direct company of one another. Often we can easily slip and feel this gives us the license to be a little more careless when interacting with the opposite gender. This is a grave error wherein which we risk putting ourselves in a position of vulnerability and could easily lead us to what we have previously been avoiding offline, such as unnecessary talking, openly flirting, talk too freely with the opposite gender and other similar actions. In extreme cases, this may lead us to meeting up face to face with the opposite gender with no mahrams present and so on.
Another phenomenon and error which people fall into, is specifically interacting with the opposite gender online, in attempt to fill a void such as loneliness, getting back at someone who has hurt them or are getting over a break up. Consequently, some people in such a predicament may turn to the most accessible source, i.e the Internet, in order to redeem themselves and/or regain that unique companionship they once had shared with someone. This affect is more commonly known as “The ‘rebound.’”
Naturally such behavior may eventually develop into an impressible (haram) relationship with the opposite gender, whilst at the same time, being oblivious of the hurt that they may cause to the person on the receiving end who cannot perceive their real intentions and motivations.
This is something that we, as both the correspondent of this and as the initiator of this, must be cautious of. In such circumstances, a “two way street” concept must be applied and implemented by both parties. In the case of the former, it is important that we abide by the proper guidelines Islam has laid out, as to avoid falling into such a dilemma to begin with, and thus avoid potential hurt.
Likewise as the latter, we need to take it upon ourselves to be considerate of other people feelings and place ourselves in their shoes, that is just because we cannot directly see others, it does denote that they are free of feelings and emotions and it also does not mean they have ill intentions like we may.
At the highest risk of being targeted and falling into the wrong traps, are children and young teens. With many young people having easy accesses to the wide world web, many children and young teens are at a higher risk of falling into danger online due to a premature intellect which deprives them of the ability to perceive and comprehend the dangers that the World Wide Web may present. In fact you will see that people of a young age tend to be more trusting of others who present themselves as kind people. Though suspicion breeds dislikable characteristics in one, it is still necessary and advisable that parents and guardians (especially those who are of migrant background and are not fluent in the language their child speaks) to know and understand how to use the internet and familiarize themselves with the type of websites and online facilities that not only present a potential danger to their children, but also one which their child has access to. One way in which to approach this problem is to install the proper internet safety devices/programmes which help to curb potential dangers online. However this isn’t by any means the only method to prevent this.
One must also remember that parenting does not only consist of authority, but it also consists of understanding and developing a healthy relationship with your child. Hence speaking to your child at a suitable and relevant age and explaining to them in a gentle and sympathetic manner the potential dangers of the internet, causes the child to be more conscious when surfing online
...desperate for husnul-khitaam...
please make dua that Allah grants me a good end (to my life). please make dua that Allah guides me.
for my blog im addressing the intermingling of the opposite gender and the likes. i want to know if there has been any artistes written previously concerning how to deal with mixed environments such as work and uni, etc. i would write something myself, except i don't have the time or knowledge. any ideas where i can get anything like this from??
I hope you speak arabic. This is a website in Arabic giving many information about the topic : حكم الاختلاط
Last edited by marwen; 06-28-2010 at 11:54 AM.
"O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]
Mashallah the article you wrote is very interesting.
One must also remember that parenting does not only consist of authority, but it also consists of understanding and developing a healthy relationship with your child. Hence speaking to your child at a suitable and relevant age and explaining to them in a gentle and sympathetic manner the potential dangers of the internet, causes the child to be more conscious when surfing online
This is a very hard issue : how to make your child control his actions when using Internet. You know it's quasi impossible to be always with your children in every thing they do, we have to admit this. The problem is how to build their character and give them a strong personality to be sure they are safe from Internet dangers when they found themselves alone.
A big work is to be done to define a good methodology to solve this problem. I don't have a clear answer, so I'll let this open to discussion.
"O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]
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