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An Arabic funny

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    An Arabic funny

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    واحد مصرى يقول
    سافرت إلى السعوديه صغيرا
    منذ كنت فى الصف الثالث الإبتدائى مع الوالد يرحمه الله
    بدأنا فى الصف الأول الإعدادى دراسة اللغة الإنجليزية

    كان الطلبة السعوديون يعتبرون اللغة الإنجليزية

    شيئا شيطانيا لا يمكن فك طلاسم شره وسحره

    وكان يدعم ذلك بعض الفتاوى التى ترى بحرمة دراسة هذه اللغة

    بإعتبارها لغة الكفر

    تجاوزنا الصف الأول والثانى الإعدادى ومعظم الطلبة لا يعرفون نطق الحروف أساسا

    كان الأمر مختلفا بالنسبة لى ببساطه لأن والدى يُدرس اللغة الإنجليزية

    فى المعاهد العليا وهو خريج كلية الأداب قسم اللغة الإنجليزية


    عندما وصلنا إلى الصف الثالث الإعدادى تولى تدريسنا أستاذ سعودى نراه لأول مرة

    كان إسمه له وقع عجيب فقد كان إسمه الأستاذ (جربوع الجربوع)

    والجربوع عائلة معروفة

    المهم أن استاذنا كان عائدا لتوه من بعثة فى الولايات المتحدة لدراسة أحدث أساليب تعليم الإنجليزية

    دخل إلى الفصل قائلا
    Good Morning every body

    رد عليه أربعة طلاب فقط من أصل 28 طالبا

    بينما فغر الباقون أفواههم دهشة

    حاول المسكين أن يستمر فى مخاطبة الفصل بالإنجليزية

    فلم تنقض خمس دقائق حتى صرخ بصوت كهزيم الرعد

    (
    وراكم ماتردون يا الثيران)

    فقال أحد الطلبة - وكان مشهودا له بشدة الغباء-

    (
    حنا ماندرى وش تجول)

    كانت هذه نقطة تحول فى فكر الأستاذ جربوع نحو تعليم الإنجليزية

    فقد أخذ على نفسه عهدا أن يعلم الطلبة بأسلوب جديد

    دخل الحصة التالية حاملا عصا تشبه عصى عساكر الأمن المركزى

    وبدأ بتعليم الحروف فطلب منا أن نذاكر الحروف السته والعشرين خلال إسبوع

    على أن يعقد لنا إختبارا بعد ذلك

    فى يوم الإختبار صاح
    (
    A)

    كتب من شاء الله لهم ذلك الحرف الصعب فى أوراقهم

    ثم قال
    (
    B)

    هنا خرجت عشرة أصوات فى نفس الوقت تسأل

    أم كرش ولا أم كرشين ؟

    هكذا علمهم الأسبقون أن

    أم كرش P
    و
    أم كرشين B


    هنا أصيب الأستاذ جربوع بلوثة مفاجئة

    وأنهال بالعصا ضربا على رؤوس الجميع وهو يزعق بصوته الجهورى

    (
    والله لأدبغكم دبغ)

    بمعنى حيهرينا ضرب



    أصر الأستاذ جربوع على تعليمنا تصريف الأفعال فى اللغة الإنجليزية

    وكانت الطريقة أن يعطينا 10 أفعال وتصريفها فى حصة

    ويتم (التسميع) فى الحصة التالية

    وكانت الحصة التالية حصة تعذيب يشيب لهولها الولدان

    فقد كان الأستاذ جربوع يدخل إلى الفصل مندفعا دون أى مقدمه

    وعصاه مرفوعة لأقصى حد فوق رأسه

    ويصرخ فى أول طالب من اليمين

    ( Break)

    وهنا يصرخ الطالب مثل العساكر الذين يؤدوون التحية العسكرية

    ( Break Broke Broken )

    فإن لم يقلها صرخ الأستاذ جربوع

    Haaaands

    فيفتح الطالب ذراعيه ويناولة الأستاذ ضربتين مهولتين

    يتركان يديه قاعا صفصفا لاترى فيهما عوجا ولا أمتا

    كان غالبية الطلبة يستعدون للحفلة (أقصد الحصة) ليس بالحفظ

    ولكن بفرك أيديهم بشده لتكون ساخنة إستعدادا للضرب

    لأنه من المستحيل ن يحفظوا كلمات لا يستطيعون قراءتها أصلا

    وكان لا ينجو من الضرب سوى 5 أو 6 طلاب فقط على أحسن تقدير

    فى صبيحة يوم لا ينسى دخل الأستاذ جربوع إلى الفصل

    وصرخ فى وجهى

    ( Speake)

    فقلت بأقصى قوتى

    Speak ..Spoke..Spoken

    فتركنى وتوجه للطالب التالى وكان طالبا سوريا

    فما أن وقف حتى إرتعد وكاد أن يغمى عليه

    فصرخ فيه الأستاذ لمعرفة ما به

    إيش فيك ؟

    فصاح الطالب بأقصى قوته

    إيشفيك إشفوك إشفوكن


    إحمر وجه الأستاذ جربوع وصمت للحظة مذهلة وخيل إلى أنه سينفجر

    ولكنه ألقى بالعصا وإستدار خارجا من الفصل




    ولم أشاهده أبدا بعد ذلك اليوم
    An Arabic funny

    Text without context is pretext
    If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him 44845203 1 - An Arabic funny

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  3. #2
    marwen's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    hahaha I just can't stop laughing Really good one !
    An Arabic funny


    "O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]

    يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِۦ آل عِمرَان - 102



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  4. #3
    Danah's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    lol. OMG thanks for the laugh at the morning

    I feel pity for that poor teacher, I bet he gave up teaching that pathetic class....I liked the part of B and P, that's hilarious!!

    The beginning of the story reminded me of myself. When my father (who was studying English in Uni) was always teaching us in home beyond the level we were studying in elementary school, I remember how I didn't like that but now I am very grateful to that whenever I remember the past


    English teaching in Arab countries was very poor in the past but its getting better now.
    An Arabic funny

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    Myself's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    wish i understood arabic. : (
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    ژاله's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    thanks for the laugh though i could understand only half of it...i dont get the part about B and P? could someone please elaborate?
    jazakumullah.
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  8. #6
    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    format_quote Originally Posted by marwen View Post
    hahaha I just can't stop laughing Really good one !
    ha ha very funny, marwen. I know Arabic is your first language.
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  9. #7
    marwen's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    format_quote Originally Posted by abdulmajid View Post
    ha ha very funny, marwen. I know Arabic is your first language.
    haha lol
    hey abdulmajid do you know some arabic ?

    I'm sorry I can't translate it correctly for the others, my english is not good, and it will lose the arabic humour in translation. Maybe more skilled person can do it.
    An Arabic funny


    "O you who believe! Fear ALLAH as He should be feared" [aal 'Imraan, 102]

    يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِۦ آل عِمرَان - 102



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    aysegul's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    i dont understand even a single word oh well
    An Arabic funny

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    'Abd Al-Maajid's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    format_quote Originally Posted by marwen View Post
    haha lol
    hey abdulmajid do you know some arabic ?

    I'm sorry I can't translate it correctly for the others, my english is not good, and it will lose the arabic humour in translation. Maybe more skilled person can do it.
    NO, bro I cant understand Arabic apart from some surahs
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    جوري's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    format_quote Originally Posted by Malaak View Post
    thanks for the laugh though i could understand only half of it...i dont get the part about B and P? could someone please elaborate?
    jazakumullah.
    kirsh = potbelly (Arabs in general have a problem with the letter P) so when he says it they go is that the one with one potbelly or two potbellies!

    An Arabic funny

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    Nájlá's Avatar
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    أم كرش P
    و
    أم كرشين B
    Thats got to be the funniest bit.... Miskeen al ustaath... lol thanks for the laugh.
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    kirsh = potbelly (Arabs in general have a problem with the letter P) so when he says it they go is that the one with one potbelly or two potbellies!
    lol hilarious. Jazakillah for explaining sis Skye...
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    ishfeek ishfook ishfooken lool , and the p and b one , the whle story is nice, beieve it or not i have had saudi stuendts , well like in heir thireies studying in aviation having probelm with p and b when i used to teach them n u know how severe the effects can be in aviation if u got the wrong thing , and english in general, but again i meet others that are completely the opposite.

    may Allah reward u for sharing thoughh had a good laugh
    An Arabic funny

    079186 1 - An Arabic funny
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    It is funny because the Saudis I have personally encountered were very intelligent Masha'Allah and incredibly kind especially more so those from the Hijaz area..
    speaking of aviation funnies I saw a clip once on youtube a parody of an egyptian air traffic controller ....I wish I could find it again.. it was positively hilarious but I can see where things wrong lol.. When I was a kid I used to have difficulty with d and b and in Arabic I had a heck of a time writing 7 and 8 (the Indian way) which was standard... wo wo wo..



    p.s the teacher's name is hilarious too.. Jerboa El Jerboa.. wonder if it were true or he added it in there for drama purposes..
    An Arabic funny

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    Re: An Arabic funny

    Since we are talking about English, watch this Saudi guy who is speaking English in different Arabic styles, I am sure you will like it :

    An Arabic funny

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    Re: An Arabic funny

    format_quote Originally Posted by Danah View Post
    Since we are talking about English, watch this Saudi guy who is speaking English in different Arabic styles, I am sure you will like it :

    Contains way too much profanity...but some parts are really hilarious lol, I know someone who speaks almost exact the same way that kid spoke in Saudi style.
    An Arabic funny

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    Ğħαrєєвαħ's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: An Arabic funny

    lol , thats funny
    An Arabic funny

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