A few things has happening to me the last 4 month and I hate myself and can't stand my life anymore. This is not the first time I have felt depression but This is the first time the pain have lasted This long. I'm allways angry and sad and wallahi I only blame myself. People allways tell me that sadness have become my nutruall face. Latly I have had these suicidal thoughts as I just want the pain to end. I can't take it anymore. I have even begun to think on how I should end it all becouse seriously I can't see the Light at the end of the tunnel.
I always ask myself what's kepping from ending it all and then I remember that it is haram. But now I just can't take it any longer.
I just so tired and sick of it all...
A few things has happening to me the last 4 month and I hate myself and can't stand my life anymore. This is not the first time I have felt depression but This is the first time the pain have lasted This long. I'm allways angry and sad and wallahi I only blame myself.
Assalamualaikum
I have courier agency that send package to the destination. One night an army colonel came to my office to send package, but all packages had been departed. But he agreed if I send his package next day. That's cakes.
I stored his package in office room and went sleep. But something happened, a rat entered my office room and ate that cakes!. I forgot about rat. That's my fault.
I knew it in the morning. I was so shocked, of course. But I tried to control myself and started to thinking "Now what?". I decided to phone the colonel, told him what happened, and offered him a compensation. But he told me "You must be know the cake shop where I bought that. I want you buy same cakes and send to the destination".
So I went to the cake shop, bought same cakes, and send these to the destination. Problem was over although I must spent some money.
Back to you bro. As human we are not free from mistakes. I could make mistakes, you could make mistakes too.
But bro, you don't need to blame yourself because it will not change anything, and even will make you fall into depression. So, it's better if you start thinking "Now what?". Then try to find the solution of your problems, and start to do something. In Shaa Allah, your problems can be solved, the situation will be better, and you will feel better too.
This world is a test and sometimes we all need to reflect on that, especially me. Fajr will always be my favorite time of day, but I have caught myself rushing prayer a few times in the past, astaghfirullah.
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