Dear (his name)
asalam alaikum wr wb,
I find it difficult to talk to you about this, and that's why I'm writing it here. I came into Islam because I realised the Truth and the error of my ways. I felt grateful and happy to know that Allah forgave me my past sins when I became a muslim. It means so much to me to be a muslim and to forget the life I lived before that. Alhumdulillah my life is now pure of the actions of my past and I'm striving to continue being a good muslim.
But sometimes, I feel that my past has followed me into my new life. The questions you ask hurt me deeply as that part of my life is over and not one I am proud of. It's painful to be reminded of what I was and not be appreciated for what I have become. I feel humiliated and sad and wonder what I have done wrong to deserve this. I know you do not mean to hurt me, but the fact is that this is hurting me more than you can imagine.
I want to feel secure and happy in our marriage and look forward instead of behind. I cannot change my past, but for the sake of Allah I can make my present and future pleasing to Him. It's hard to live in the present when my past is thrown at me for no reason.
It's hard for me to understand this when Islam's message is the opposite.
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"Do not be envious of other Muslims; do not overbid at auctions against another Muslim; do not have malice against a Muslim; do not go against a Muslim and forsake him; do not make an offering during a pending transaction. O' servants of Allah, be like brothers (or sisters) with each other. A Muslim is the brother (or sister) of another Muslim; do not hurt him (or her), or look down upon him (or her) or bring shame on him (or her). Piety is a matter of heart (The Prophet (SAW) repeated this thrice). It is enough evil for a person to look down upon his Muslim brother (or sister). The blood, property and honor of a Muslim is inviolable to a Musilm." (Muslim)
The Prophet (SAW) said,
"None of you has Iman (faith) until he desires for his brother (or sister) Muslim that which he desires for himself (or herself)." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Quran: "...And lower your wing for the believers (be courteous to the fellow-believers)." (Al-Hijr 15:88)
I see that Islam forbids hurting another muslim, which makes me even sadder to know that happens. Please, don't be mad at me or think that I am disrespecting you or anything. All I am asking for is to not be reminded of my past. I love you and want to be the best wife to you. Please stop asking me questions that cause me so much pain and misery. If you can't do it for me, then please do it for the sake of Allah.
May Allah have mercy on us both. Ameen.
yours lovingly,
(Your name)
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