Jihad or Suicide?

[NobleMuslimUK]

This is a controversial issue among the non-muslims and muslims, my fears are have the non muslims ended up dictating to muslims what jihad is about now. The western media potrays jihad as a person with an explosives belt attached to them, then the person detonates this belt in the event killing themselves and along with them many other not at all discriminating between targets, where women and children sometimes lose their lives too. The jihadi who martyrs his life for God will receive a place in heaven and 72 virgins.
What I know of jihad is its a struggle one has against one's self, this means abstaining from evils, obeying the laws of Allah SWT, following the sunnah of Prophet Mohammad PBUH, and spreading Islam by example and by education. The bigger jihad where you have to fight off occupiers of your land the case as it is in Palestine, well your going to die anyway it might as well be a martyrs death and with just cause too.
This issue cannot have a blind eye turned to it, where its potentially used as a method of a means of escape from a hard life, whether this be socially, mentally or financially escaping the bitter realities.
This method may be justified in some parts of the world, such as Israel or Iraq against military or foreigners, but there has been a surge of these types of methods in countries such as Saudi and Pakistan. I am just wondering how far this method is taken as jihad, because these countries are majority muslim. Can we please have shariah laws on this as to how far this form of jihad is permitted or can it be classed as jihad according to shariah. Please take into consideration todays modern weaponry, and the fact that muslims overall are so disunited and weak faithed that this method is adopted now not only as a last resort in case of Palestine, but in other countries as a direct attack with very little achievements overall.
I dont mean to offend anyone but as a muslim living in the west among some frantic and confused non muslims these questions are thrown at me constantly and I due to lack of knowledge on this subject find it hard to explain.

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One thing - blowing oneself up or killing oneself in anyway is SUICIDE. And Allah says in the Qur\'an;

[b]O ye who believe! Eat not up your property among yourselves in vanities: But let there be amongst you Traffic and trade by mutual good-will: Nor kill (or destroy) yourselves: for verily Allah hath been to you Most Merciful!
[Qur\'an, 4:29]