We always hear that we should respect parents and do what they know best.
But what happens when your unhappy in your marriage, you and your partner do not get on, yet your parents want you to be together and be happy?
Do you carry on to respect your parents wishes and stay unhappy or rebel and try be to make your own happiness (eventhough you'll never be totally happy because your parents aint)?
But what if they keep suggesting u keep try at it, but u yourself feel like you and the partner jus are tooo different and getting on in the future looks very bleak.
Yet each time u say that to parents, they turn a blind eye and say try again....
salamu 'alaykum,
I have a problem with you saying "even though you'll never be totally happy because your parents aint".
I'm sorry but you have to grow out of that sister/brother. That is how we feel when we are very young but when you become an adult you have to mature out of it, for your own good.
If you make your happiness dependant on someone else's then it's difficult to make your own choices. Maybe you are doing that to avoid taking any responsibilities for your actions. Think about that. Are you using your parents as an excuse so that you don't walk out of the marriage, maybe because you feel you will be lonely? No? Yes?
There is really no point in staying in a marriage where both partners are not happy at all. So talk to your parents and make your decision.
Your parents will get over this. They are your parents after all. But the real question is, will you get over this? Are you afraid of being single again? Are you after of what may come after divorce? Think about that. You need to face those fears to grow stronger.
I hope this helps.
Most parents want you to be happy and if you are they will be. Maybe they can't see you two are unhappy. Talk to them. If they don't understand consult a sheikh for extra counselling to help you in this delicate matter.
Marriage is one of the toughest things you will ever face in life, and nothing ever really prepares you for the problems that lay ahead. The opposite sex are such a pain, and always seem to want things done in a different way. The longer you are married the harder you have to try and persevere with loving kindness
The longer you are married the more chances you have of upsetting your partner, there are so many conflicting needs in a marriage. Suffering with PMT. Or being on the receiving end every month is a challenge. Lack of money, lack of time, being tired, demanding kids, conflicting ways of dealing with the kids, the in laws, there are so many pressures on a marriage that cause problems, time after time, year after year.
These things can drive a wedge between you, and the marriage ends in divorce; or you find ways to cope with these recurring problems time after time. I seem to remember in the UK the average length of a marriage is just 11 years, so many kids grow up knowing different step parents; that is so sad.
Talking about the problems is good, forgiving is even better, without forgiveness the marriage cannot grow. Even if it seems that just one of you is doing most of the forgiving, you must persevere for love to find a way. The test to see if you have forgiven your partner is when you have an argument, do you keep bringing up stuff that happened years ago?
I have known my wife 25 years, the first 25 years have been a challenge, we are slowly changing, maybe if we have another 25 years we shall get a few things right. We still do things that upset each other.
Despite all the problems, arguments, compromises, and disagreements that have happened in our marriage, I am so pleased we have managed to persevere together.
I became a Christian about ten years ago; and my wife became a Christian seven years ago. This has also caused conflicting needs over the last few years, gradually we are coming to the understanding that we both need to put God first.
In the spirit of praying to a merciful and forgiving God,
Eric
You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.
One could listen to their parents, why is it called rebelling if you dont do what your parents say. I would thought that is called making up your own mind.
At the end of the day your parents will not be with you on judgement day. When before your creator and asked to explain your actions, you cannot say because I was told by others to do thus, this will not suffice.
You should feel confident to exercise the right to make up your own mind and deal with the consqeuences, or blame others when things do not work out, its your choice.
I hope you make the right one for you.
Peace
We always hear that we should respect parents and do what they know best.
But what happens when your unhappy in your marriage, you and your partner do not get on, yet your parents want you to be together and be happy?
Do you carry on to respect your parents wishes and stay unhappy or rebel and try be to make your own happiness (eventhough you'll never be totally happy because your parents aint)?
Ignore Soloqi who is an imposter Muslim.
Persevere and see if things get better. Give it a year or two and if its not better then think about divorce. Let your parents know about your suffering honestly.
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Posting Permissions
Bookmarks