I feel there is so much hype in getting married, and then not turning out the way you wanted it to be.
Please comment...
FiAmaaniAllah
Only because usually those that really want to get married spend their single days wishing they were married and not getting themselves ready for things that come after it. If people educated themselves about marriage, from an Islamic perspective and from other variant perspectives as well such as psychological etc, as they would for any other thing in life, they can make it work out very well.
So it's how you utilize your time that can make it good or bad. If you spend your single days moping about how you're not married and aren't doing anything about it, then you're going to be very miserable. However, if you spent that time using your desire for marriage and companionship into proactively learning about marriage and training yourself for it, it's going to get good now and down the line Insha'Allaah. Personally, I hate being single, but I try not to let that get into the way of me doing things that I need to do and working my way towards a married life.
“Do not argue with your Lord on behalf of your soul, rather argue with your soul on behalf of your Lord.” - Dhul-Nun
"It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness." - Victor Frankl
But until i do get married, is there anything good about being single?
A great deal, most of which you don't appreciate until you no longer are!
The main one is freedom, the ability to do what you want when you want, and have the time to do it. You just can't do that when you are married. Don't get me wrong, it's a freedom you voluntarily give up in favour of responsibility, mutual respect, partnership and (hopefully) increased happiness. My point is just enjoy it when you can; you will miss it from time to time no matter how much you love your wife!
And as for the onewho fears standing in front of His Lord and restrainsthe soul from impure evil desires and lusts, verily, Paradise will be his abode [79:40-41]
rather what's wrong with being single..
don't think about marriage as an obligation. it's not something that you have to do, well we mostly do, but that's instinct. been single as well as getting married are both self serving in the end.
You can dedicate a bit more time to your ibadah that you would otherwise give to your spouse, his/her family, and his/her friends. (I know, marriage is ibadah too, but you'll miss being able to read 1 juz or whatever a day when you're married.)
You don't have to be responsible for another individual's needs and feelings at least 50% of the time.
You can eat what you want every single day of the week, never wondering, "Hmmmm, what would he/she like for breakfast, lunch and dinner?"
You can do your laundry when you need it done, not when he/she does.
You can leave your dirty socks lying in a pile by the side of your bed without knowing your husband/wife thinks you're so gross.
You can wear that ratty old flannel shirt to bed without your wife/husband saying, "Honey, here's the credit card, go buy nicer sleepwear."
Et cetera ad nauseum.
Sure, this all sounds like stuff you don't need...but when you're married, you just might miss it. So, close your eyes and imagine how life will really change when you're married and you just might find the good parts of being single.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. But at least the wub is back.
I think that there are things we can do in our singledom which we cannot do during marriage. Especially with refence to things involving our deen and Iman.
Whilst you are single, you are supposed to grow spiritually, as much as you can and do dawah and just seek knowledge etc.
After you are married, you are restricted in many ways. Family life takes a toll on you and you work out new ways to grow spiritually etc. Serving your family becomes a way of expressive your love and respect for you deen etc.
So the best of both worlds is what you should be looking for, bro.
On a practical level, both are hard and easy. It is all about getting to know yourself in relation to yourself and then getting to know yourself in relation to living with your partner. You are, essentially, a whole new person. While you are single you might hate being alone. Then when you get married, you might pray for a lonely minute. So are you a person who likes or dislikes alone time? Both. Two different people in two different worlds.
Wasalaam.
"'Cause I hear the whispered words
In your masterpiece beautiful
You speak the unspeakable through
I love you too"
Its hard being single, you want to share your joy and sadness with someone , with my case just having someone to talk to.
When Getting married , you now have to take someone else's feelings into consideration.
Its a life changing thing for most of us. You cant do as you please all the time,
you cant meet up with the boys when you want and come home when you like.
Like now for example , im in my room with the light on, on L.I. if i were married i would have to think oh my wifes asleep, i dont want to disturb her .
If my wife were to follow my routine day in day out, she would get very bored.
My room is a mess, my wardrobe is my floor , theres so many sweet wrappers in the bin,
socks on the floor, man im gonna miss these days.
someone said to me when you getting married, just to get the laugh i said the washing machine aint broke yet.LOL
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