im only fifteen but i currently am suffering from major depression. when i was in year4 i was sexually assaulted by my best friend. my father and brothers have all been found watching porn and stuff. my father left us a couple of years ago. when i was in primary school for three years i was constantly bullied both physically and emotionally. the few friendships i ever made usually ended because i was used for some purpose or another.
i have lost my trust in people. life has always been constant hell. everyday my mother constantly is on my back. im always the target for her anger.
so i turned to cutting myself. it was bliss. i loved it. it was a release from all the pain. the one friend i have is making me promise not to cut for a few weeks at a time. trying to wean me off. but in the meantime, i am turning to other sins such as music.
i cant stop thinking about cutting, i have scars all up my arms. please can someone offer advice?
salam
sorry 2 hear that. i used 2 cut myself as well, but its not worth it. chek this hadith out
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "(The significance of) this
world (in comparison) to the Hereafter (is similar to) one of you dipping
his finger in the ocean and then examining what has stuck to it."
-- Sahih Muslim
I understand why you've resorted to cutting yourself, it's because cutting yourself is a way of relieving your pain and not having to face your real life. You have to always remember that no matter how hard you try, you will still have to face the hardships of Dunya. You say that you've been through a lot and people haven't been there for you when you needed them but you should always acknowledge that Allah Almighty is always with you even when you feel he isn't. You can connect with Allah by performing prayers, reciting Surahs, and making Dua for yourself. Allah is there for you no matter what and there are people in the same situation you are or even worse but just always remember to trust in Allah. Insh'Allah by being strong in your deen and imaan, you will be of the ones accepted in Jannah al-Firdaws and you will have no more problems to face. It will be eternal bliss. Unlike the temporary bliss you felt when you cut yourself(istaqhfurallah), this will be everlasting. I also advice you to speak with a Sheikh or Imaam and inshallah they will help you with your problems. Ameen.
im only fifteen but i currently am suffering from major depression. when i was in year4 i was sexually assaulted by my best friend. my father and brothers have all been found watching porn and stuff. my father left us a couple of years ago. when i was in primary school for three years i was constantly bullied both physically and emotionally. the few friendships i ever made usually ended because i was used for some purpose or another.
i have lost my trust in people. life has always been constant hell. everyday my mother constantly is on my back. im always the target for her anger.
so i turned to cutting myself. it was bliss. i loved it. it was a release from all the pain. the one friend i have is making me promise not to cut for a few weeks at a time. trying to wean me off. but in the meantime, i am turning to other sins such as music.
i cant stop thinking about cutting, i have scars all up my arms. please can someone offer advice?
Peace young sister.
This is not an uncommon problem. Self mutalation appears to some degree in nearly all people at different stages of life. Some times it is very limited and somewhat controle, such as biting of fingers nails or chewing on the inside of ones cheek or side of tongue. Other times it is a full fledged self attack upons ones body.
Keep in mind that this is giving you a certain level of comfort and it does feel good to you. This is a false and addictive form of self pleasure, the best way to escape from it is to wean yourself away from it. Self healing of this is difficult, but can be accomplished.
As already been said make frequent Du'as for the strength to escape from this "habit". If need be, try to temporarily substitute another action that is less damaging.
Remember, that the comfort the self damage brings is very temporary and of no long term value. You need to do your best to establish a goal for your future and seek to fulfill that goal. You are facing a difficult challenge and sometimes we all need help to face our challenges. If at all possible seek out the advice of a stable Female adult, you trust and can confide in. Share your problems with her. Sharing a problem immediatly cuts it in half.
Just wanted to add that our bodies are an amanah from Allah swt. Therefore it is our duty to protect and nourish our bodies. Harming your body isnt just injustice to yourself but also disobedience to Allah swt.
I also suggest you talk to someone you can trust.
....If thou knowest not thy God, thou art a slave of men;
And if thou dost, thy slaves are kings and potentates.
The heart’s freedom is kingly; its slavery is death,
It is for thee to decide — to be a king or a slave.
[Baal-e-Jibreel, Allama Iqbal 1935]
The advice given by the brothers and sisters here is very true. I would support the advice given by the brother who recommended the support of a trusting a female friend. You mentioned one sister in your post. Inshaa'Allaah, take your strength from her initially...and take benefit of the time she spends with you. There is nothing better than a sincere companion in your most desperate hour, no advice better than from someone who is willing to share your difficulty with you and no love better than the love of a sister who loves you for the sake of Allaah.
By recognising the sin of music, your heart requires a change-for the better! Alhamdulillaah. That's a good start. Take advantage of the times when your heart feels strong like this. And keep the company of those who will make you strong.
Ultimately though, I hope you eventually find the inner strength to battle it through.
May Allaah make it easy for you.
Wassalaamu-alaykum.
...I wonder at the one who extends his right hand
To his beloved at the time of seperation and he hastens therein!
I felt weak and incapable of saying farewell when I saw him
So my heart shook his hand whilst my eye wept....
I am so sorry to hear of your abuse, but please do not give up, you can overcome all these troubles.
Prayer is at the heart of any lasting and meaningful recovery; and there are a couple of things you can do alongside prayer to divert your energy into something more positive.
Volunteer for something; voluntary groups are always looking for people who can help. If you help another person and share their problems you will find it helps to take your mind of your own problems. This is a long term strategy and not really a short term fix.
Sadly many young girls are abused in the way you have been, search out a self help group with other victims. If there is no group could you get one started?
Take up some kind of sport and gradually push yourself to go faster, longer and constantly look to improve. You don’t have to compete to win rather compete to push yourself. In a strange kind of way pushing yourself harder in sport is kind of like punishing yourself, but it has all the positive side affects.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a great mystery, Lord give me the peace and serenity to face this day and every day always one day at a time knowing that you hold me in the palm of your hand.
In the spirit of facing Life always one day at a time,
Eric
In the thread where all the Reversion Stories are... you will find many a similar stories - even worse.
I recall the story of Emily, she was literally abused from chilldhood up to her adult life... but Sabr was given to her by Allah and eventually, she is now a free and happy woman.
We cannot change the past... but you can always control whats going to be your future. todays' grace is sufficient for today.
I pray to Allah sister that HE will guide you and bless you and keep you always under his mercy and grace and that HE will increase your Guardian Angels and that from today and all the days of your life... You will rise to see the morning sun as if it is the very first morning. Be sad no more.
Remember, you are more important to Allah than all the mosques in the world combined. And that Allah loves you so much... he will not give you a burden you cannot carry. The fact that you are here in this community... is already a manifest divine provision.
jazakallah for your replies. ill try to follow your advice as much as possible. just please keep me in your duas
Sister, I am so happy to read ur response.... after starting to read the thread from the start, i was beginning to think you did not read the support comments sent to you.... and then the final shining letter came from you....
Sister, i know someone that went through something similar..... a sister that actually got raped by her 3 brothers that looked at way too much porn.... and mashallah, if you see her now, she has three children, a great husband and lives far from them but visits them from time to time. Her Imaan in Allah SWT got her though it and she lives a life of happiness now. Sister, i will make dua for you enshallah everytime i remember......
I am sorry about your story. But instead of harming yourself try reading Quraan. Be sure you will feel yourself better. I think It is the biggest remedy of all illnesses
im only fifteen but i currently am suffering from major depression. when i was in year4 i was sexually assaulted by my best friend. my father and brothers have all been found watching porn and stuff. my father left us a couple of years ago. when i was in primary school for three years i was constantly bullied both physically and emotionally. the few friendships i ever made usually ended because i was used for some purpose or another.
i have lost my trust in people. life has always been constant hell. everyday my mother constantly is on my back. im always the target for her anger.
so i turned to cutting myself. it was bliss. i loved it. it was a release from all the pain. the one friend i have is making me promise not to cut for a few weeks at a time. trying to wean me off. but in the meantime, i am turning to other sins such as music.
i cant stop thinking about cutting, i have scars all up my arms. please can someone offer advice?
Im very sorrt to here this, but please dont hurt your self
If you feal like hurting yourself go a read the quran or play it or somthing,
your in piramry school yes? tell ur teacher they will help u
Depending on where you live you can get alot of help regurding bullying
talk 2 advisions here: http://www.connexions-direct.com/index.cfm?pid=223
they dont know who u are they will help u
My freinds sister got bullied in primary school when he found out, we paid a visit 2 the school and told the teacher and they helped his sister
tell the teachers about the problem - please if your in the UK get in contact with Connexions they will help you please please get in contact with them!
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