i am getting married next year but my marriage will be destroyed

**Alphadude** · 10-29-2010

i am getting married next year but my marriage will be destroyed bcoz i have 2 tattoos and i had one of them while i was young and in love and second one while i was depressed and wanted to commit suicide then i had the second one bcoz i tought i am gona die so i will have one i was stupid and know i will get married next year and engagement is after 3 or 4 months so i am scared i get suicide toughts again bcoz if my wife sees it then it will destroy my life and ruin everything and my wife is not from back home so she does not know anything about these things i cant afford to pay for the laser tattoo removal it cost allot of money and i am working hard to make money for the engagement and wedding so i need some help i dont know what to do i know if she sees it then it will ruin the marriage and i dont know what i am gona do please help me show me a way to remove it and can i burn it will that remove it its quite big both of them i am lost and been thinking about suicide lately bcoz i feel so bad about my self of what have i done.

**Alpha Dude** · 10-29-2010

Wa alaykum salam,

I think you're just overreacting/being paranoid. Trust in Allah.

InshaAllah it will be ok. You have no idea what's going to happen and just having pessimistic thoughts for nothing.

**Hamza Asadullah** · 10-29-2010

Originally Posted by Alphadude

i am getting married next year but my marriage will be destroyed bcoz i have 2 tattoos and i had one of them while i was young and in love and second one while i was depressed and wanted to commit suicide then i had the second one bcoz i tought i am gona die so i will have one i was stupid and know i will get married next year and engagement is after 3 or 4 months so i am scared i get suicide toughts again bcoz if my wife sees it then it will destroy my life and ruin everything and my wife is not from back home so she does not know anything about these things i cant afford to pay for the laser tattoo removal it cost allot of money and i am working hard to make money for the engagement and wedding so i need some help i dont know what to do i know if she sees it then it will ruin the marriage and i dont know what i am gona do please help me show me a way to remove it and can i burn it will that remove it its quite big both of them i am lost and been thinking about suicide lately bcoz i feel so bad about my self of what have i done.

Asalaamu Alaikum, my brother do not despair. Here is an alternative to laser treatment and is much cheaper too: http://www.tattooremovalcream.co.uk/

Whatever has happened in the past then put it behind you now. Try this cream and inshallah it will work and within a few months get rid of your tattoo. Have faith in Allah and put your trust and reliance in him.

Do not listen to shaythan trying to make you fall into desperation and anguish. He just wants your destruction and that is why he gives you thoughts of ending your life and tells you it is the easy way out.

Would you rather take your enemys advice who hates you and wants you destroyed? If not then turn towards Allah and strive to be the closest to him. Ask of him and share all of your pains, worrys and feelings with him. Rely on him and put your faith and trust in him. Inshallah this cream will get rid of your tattoo.

Whenever you go through any pain, stress, worrys, trials or hardships then turn towards Allah and rely on ONLY him and that way whatever shaythan says to you then you will disregard and reject it.

And Allah knows best in all matters

**Alphadude** · 10-29-2010

Originally Posted by Hamza81

Asalaamu Alaikum, my brother do not despair. Here is an alternative to laser treatment and is much cheaper too: http://www.tattooremovalcream.co.uk/

Whatever has happened in the past then put it behind you now. Try this cream and inshallah it will work and within a few months get rid of your tattoo. Have faith in Allah and put your trust and reliance in him.

Do not listen to shaythan trying to make you fall into desperation and anguish. He just wants your destruction and that is why he gives you thoughts of ending your life and tells you it is the easy way out.

Would you rather take your enemys advice who hates you and wants you destroyed? If not then turn towards Allah and strive to be the closest to him. Ask of him and share all of your pains, worrys and feelings with him. Rely on him and put your faith and trust in him. Inshallah this cream will get rid of your tattoo.

Whenever you go through any pain, stress, worrys, trials or hardships then turn towards Allah and rely on ONLY him and that way whatever shaythan says to you then you will disregard and reject it.

And Allah knows best in all matters

i know brother but i dont think the cream works they are all fake and and i dont have that much time and i dont want her to see it brother if i got married in london then maybe she would have understood and i could have explained to her before the engagement but my family choose her so and i agreed with them i i am sure it will destroy my marriage and as said on the website u gave me

usually say on average a small tattoo usually requires a 6 or 9 month supply, a medium sized tattoo usually requires 9 or 12 months and for a very large or several tattoos a 12+ month supply.

if it works and i dont wanna waist my time on that and the money if it does not work and my tattoos are quit big so as said it will take 12+ month its on the back of my shoulder one of them and the other on my arm i can burn the arm one but i cant reach the back i dont know how to burn the back one and i am worried about the one on my back of the shoulder bcoz its a naked devil women so u tell me m i wrong ?

**Tilmeez** · 10-29-2010

Try to learn forgiving your own mistakes. You seem to be very weak and lack self confidence. How come a childish mistake can ruin your marriage?
Talk to you fiancée, if its that necessary, and let her know. What? She will break engagement? Let it be. She is not the last women on earth. Trust in Allah SWT and trust yourself too. Don't allow situations drive you. Take the charge. Act like men do.

if you still want to remove it, talk to a doctor instead of burning it. See if he can cut upper skin for you. It will be better and easier than burning it.

**Alphadude** · 10-29-2010

Originally Posted by Tilmeez

Try to learn forgiving your own mistakes. You seem to be very weak and lack self confidence. How come a childish mistake can ruin your marriage?
Talk to you fiancée, if its that necessary, and let her know. What? She will break engagement? Let it be. She is not the last women on earth. Trust in Allah SWT and trust yourself too. Don't allow situations drive you. Take the charge. Act like men do.

if you still want to remove it, talk to a doctor instead of burning it. See if he can cut upper skin for you. It will be better and easier than burning it.

i understand what you mean brother as you said that i should tell her right? but it was decided by my father and and her mother and father so we cant just break the marriage ok once its done then its done but i can maybe she breaks the marriage or me it will be a big shame for both family,
and i spoke to my doctor he said that we cant remove it bcoz it falls under cosmetic surgery and i dont see any options.one more thing i forgot she is a vilage girl not from the city and i am from afghanistan and she is 2 but i live in london and lives back home thats the main point of i cant tell her.

**Muhaba** · 10-29-2010

Tell your wife-to-be about the tattoos. Most women will understand that young people are silly and do foolish things, etc. Try to make her understand that you were different then and have changed, etc and that you will get rid of the tattoos when you have the money. Insha-Allah she will understand. In the mean time, get the cream and start using it to remove the tatoos, at least parts of it and if you see progress, then continue. No matter what, don't burn yourself as you will get permanent marking and that might be even worse, as there may not be any way to remove them. Don't consider suicide as it is haram. You can't take a life that Allah created. Only He has the right to give death. If you do that, you will be in hell forever and that is worse than anything in this world.

Also you can make some excuse for getting the tattoos, like peer pressure or something.

**Tilmeez** · 10-29-2010

Someone just told me there are free tattoo removal programs in US. Try searching for any such in UK.

I could not google any better than this for you if it works for you.

Last but not the least: Get them all black! Yes, go to a tattoo artist and ask him to make all the area black. It might look bad but your tattoos are gone.

Workable:><:

**Hamza Asadullah** · 10-29-2010

Originally Posted by Alphadude

i know brother but i dont think the cream works they are all fake and and i dont have that much time and i dont want her to see it brother if i got married in london then maybe she would have understood and i could have explained to her before the engagement but my family choose her so and i agreed with them i i am sure it will destroy my marriage and as said on the website u gave me

if it works and i dont wanna waist my time on that and the money if it does not work and my tattoos are quit big so as said it will take 12+ month its on the back of my shoulder one of them and the other on my arm i can burn the arm one but i cant reach the back i dont know how to burn the back one and i am worried about the one on my back of the shoulder bcoz its a naked devil women so u tell me m i wrong ?

Asalaamu Alaikum, my brother burning your skin is not even an option so you should get these absurd thoughts out of your mind. You should use the cream and start applying it as soon as is possible for the only way to know is if you try. Yes it will cost you around £100 and take 6 months + but there is no other viable alternative. Go ahead with it and do not even consider burning yourself as you may do permanent damage to yourself as well as a possibility of infection and all kinds of other complications.

You should not think that she will divorce you. You do not even know her so how do you know she will react in such a way? Maybe she will be understanding towards you once you have explained that this was the result of your past which you regret. Not everyone is narrow minded as you would think. She may be a very understanding person who will look past this error of yours because she will realise that it was your past. So my brother do not listen to the whispers of your enemy shaythan. Disregard him and put your reliance in Allah. Try the cream and make much dua to Allah for your tattoos to be removed from using it. Whatever is best will happen inshallah but do not think that she will leave you as this is just your own paranoid thinking.

And Allah knows best in all matters

**Strzelecki** · 10-30-2010

Bro. Maybe just be open and honest with her.
Tell her this is your past, this is your history and provide her with the lessons you have learned in hopes of benefitting her. Who knows, kheyr inshaAllah, may she could pass such lessons on to someone in need someday.

But being open with her is the best thing you can do. For you sake and hers. Who knows? Allahu alim, she could really respect and appreciate that!

May Allah swt grant you what's best. Ameen.

**Rafeeq** · 10-30-2010

Tell her every thing true and you both can save some money to remove them after marriage. Let the things happen in its normal pace. Your worries might be useless. Trust in Allah and go ahead.

**Muhaba** · 10-30-2010

save a fraction of the amount needed and then get the laser treatment a few weeks before the wedding.

or get a loan from a friend.

or ask your parents to give you the money and if they refuse then show them one tattoo and tell them you need to get it removed if you're going to get married. or is that impossible? do you think your father will have a heart attack if he sees it? or will they stop the marriage? or will they just give you the money to save face?

**Muslim Woman** · 10-30-2010

Salaam bro

I think u are overreacting . Having tatoo is haram ? Even if u did a haram thing , sincere repentance removes the sin .

So , as already suggeted , talk to her that u have got a tatoo and you are trying to get rid of it.

Ask Allah to help you and don't get frustrated so easily. Nothing bad happened to you yet and you are so upset ? Strange .

**Alphadude** · 11-07-2010

thanks every 1 i am thinking of covering it with another tattoo a black one and in the future if i could afford it i will do the laser tattoo removal

**Strzelecki** · 11-07-2010

^ You don't lose haram with more haram bro!
Why be so paranoid you'll commit another sin?
Man up. Leave it. Be open and honest with your future wife, and make no excuses but sincerely show that you're all regrets and apologies. Seriously, if you can't be yourself and share you mistakes and failings with your wife, well, who can you be yourself around?

Get rid of it when you have the means, tattoos aren't cheap, nor is laser surgery! Why not save the money you will be paying to cover it up and put it towards the laser removal? I'm sorry, but another tattoo just sounds batty. Two wrongs don't make a right, and covering things up and not being open with your wife, well, I hope you guys have a good relationship otherwise inshaAllah.

***charisma*** · 11-13-2010

Assalamu Alaikum

Yes, do NOT go and cover it up even more with more tattoos. You made your mistakes and that's that. You have to man-up and tell her otherwise you will always feel like you're hiding something or lying ot her. If she's going to be your wife she has to accept you for how you are and just the same, you have to be open and honest to her. You don't have to tell her the whole entire story, but tell her you have some tattoos that you had when you were younger and immature, you plan on removing them in the future inshallah and you would just like her to know so it doesnt seem as a huge surprise to her. That's it, don't make such a big deal out of it like you are..it's like you're going to kill yourself over this girl lol chill..and even if it doesnt work out, oh well..itll give you time to actually save money to remove it properly so that next time you won't have to go throught his predicament..it's a win-win situation the way I see it.

Inshallah khair

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

**GuestFellow** · 11-13-2010

Originally Posted by Alphadude

thanks every 1 i am thinking of covering it with another tattoo a black one and in the future if i could afford it i will do the laser tattoo removal

I think your overreacting. There is no need to get another tattoo. The solution is quite simple. Tell your future wife that you have tattoo. If she breaks the engagement, is not going to be the end of the world.

**Ummu Sufyaan** · 11-14-2010

Originally Posted by Alphadude

thanks every 1 i am thinking of covering it with another tattoo a black one and in the future if i could afford it i will do the laser tattoo removal

why dont you just explain to your future wife why you put it there in the first place (if she asks, etc) and that you are over that period in your life.

dont do anything rash by getting another one-then you may just find that you have more explaining to do.

**Alphadude** · 11-14-2010

Originally Posted by buriedaway_4536

^ You don't lose haram with more haram bro!
Why be so paranoid you'll commit another sin?
Man up. Leave it. Be open and honest with your future wife, and make no excuses but sincerely show that you're all regrets and apologies. Seriously, if you can't be yourself and share you mistakes and failings with your wife, well, who can you be yourself around?

Get rid of it when you have the means, tattoos aren't cheap, nor is laser surgery! Why not save the money you will be paying to cover it up and put it towards the laser removal? I'm sorry, but another tattoo just sounds batty. Two wrongs don't make a right, and covering things up and not being open with your wife, well, I hope you guys have a good relationship otherwise inshaAllah.

Originally Posted by *charisma*

Assalamu Alaikum

Yes, do NOT go and cover it up even more with more tattoos. You made your mistakes and that's that. You have to man-up and tell her otherwise you will always feel like you're hiding something or lying ot her. If she's going to be your wife she has to accept you for how you are and just the same, you have to be open and honest to her. You don't have to tell her the whole entire story, but tell her you have some tattoos that you had when you were younger and immature, you plan on removing them in the future inshallah and you would just like her to know so it doesnt seem as a huge surprise to her. That's it, don't make such a big deal out of it like you are..it's like you're going to kill yourself over this girl lol chill..and even if it doesnt work out, oh well..itll give you time to actually save money to remove it properly so that next time you won't have to go throught his predicament..it's a win-win situation the way I see it.

Inshallah khair

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

Originally Posted by ProfessorSunday

I think your overreacting. There is no need to get another tattoo. The solution is quite simple. Tell your future wife that you have tattoo. If she breaks the engagement, is not going to be the end of the world.

Originally Posted by Ummu Sufyaan

why dont you just explain to your future wife why you put it there in the first place (if she asks, etc) and that you are over that period in your life.

dont do anything rash by getting another one-then you may just find that you have more explaining to do.

since you all posted the same answer i will give you the answer as i said i have 2 tattoos 1 of theme is a tribal tattoo wich i dont mind but the other 1 is a devil girl and she is naked i hope you get me and i dont get banned for saying this if she sees this what will she think u know,its better black then a naked devil girl right? and the thing is i cant realy afford anything at the moment bcoz i need to save the money to engagement and wedding i might save some money to cover it up.TELL ME IF I AM WRONG.

**GuestFellow** · 11-14-2010

Originally Posted by Alphadude

since you all posted the same answer i will give you the answer as i said i have 2 tattoos 1 of theme is a tribal tattoo wich i dont mind but the other 1 is a devil girl and she is naked i hope you get me and i dont get banned for saying this if she sees this what will she think u know,its better black then a naked devil girl right? and the thing is i cant realy afford anything at the moment bcoz i need to save the money to engagement and wedding i might save some money to cover it up.TELL ME IF I AM WRONG.

Yes, I actually worked it out myself that the tattoo was embarrassing, otherwise you would not go to such extreme lengths to get it covered up.

I understand the predicament you're in. However, in the long-term it is better to tell the truth. You will feel guilty that your hiding something from your wife. Honestly is a key ingredient in a healthy relationship. You would not like it if your wife had something to hide from you, I think you would be concerned. If the engagement is broken, then she is not right for you to begin with. She should have understood that it takes a lot of effort it takes to tell the truth.

If something bad does happen, it happens for the best. Think positive.