Dear brothers and sisters in Islam, Assalam-u-Alaikum!
I'm a 28-year-old, university graduate woman in desperate need of help. I was born in a Pakistani Sunni-Muslim family following the Hanafi sect (please remember in Pakistan faith and religion come after the absurd Hinduism-influenced "traditions") and have practiced Islam ever since I grew up. While I know I'm not absolutely thorough in my knowledge of Islam, I still know a lot more than a lot of people in my society.
I have always condemned people leaving the faith or religious practices (both out-loud and in my heart) and try my best to keep up with the obligatory Salah 5 times a day and fasting in Ramazan. I have also been to both Makkah and Madina on Umrah several times including a couple of months ago (Alhamdulillah) and I should also mention I'm very much influenced by the Sufi scholars in my faith. I strongly condemn Qadyanis/Ahmaddiya community and such groups. I have always heartily condemned all the acts involving blasphemy towards our religion and every false thing people do in the name of religion.
Now I'd describe my problem. I was talking to my mother yesterday and she accused me of blasphemy and leaving the faith because I just said to her "it's Allah (SWT) and his Prophet's (Sal-lallah-u Alieh-i Wassalam) business". I only said this (in my heart I know this, and Allah knows this) as a way to say that it's Allah's and his Prophet's authority/decision/will. I don't know what she thought I meant because she accused me of blasphemy and Kufr right away and had my father hit me in the face for it. I was physically, emotionally, mentally abused for this for hours and when I gave them 1000s of explanations they all calmed down and never said a word nor showed a sign of apology.
So tell me please, brothers and sisters, is this right, the way I was treated for my faith and tactlessness? Is this how a person deserves to be behaved towards when they never mean whatever they're accused of saying?
I remember this Hadees
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, 'If anyone says to his brother, 'O misbeliever! Then surely, one of them such."
Reference: 6104
English reference: Vol. 8, Book 73, Hadith 125
In-book reference: Book 78, Hadith 131
Grade: Sahih
Is this how a person deserves to be behaved towards when they never mean whatever they're accused of saying?
I believe your parents overreacted based on what you described.
People are of different temperaments. Some are soft in their approach and dealings with people whereas others are more straight to the point and "harsh". It seems your parents fit into the harsh category and don't appreciate the subtle points of things before reacting.
Personally, I'd make dua for them and myself and draw a line under what's happened and move on.
I was said this while talking to my mother about myself getting married. I don't want to get married. I just think I'm not responsible enough and I don't feel any "needs" physically or emotionally or mentally. I have tried to reason with my parents that I will live this life in peace and remain on the right path and don't want to decieve anyone by marrying them and not fulfilling my duties. Well you know how parents take things like this. I have also a good career and I won't need any financial assistance from them in future insha Allah. But my mother is obsessed with me getting married soon. I just cannot live a life of deceit and lead someone to believe I want them in my life only to get out of a relation soon after.
My mother is adamant that I should believe in her good will for myself (which I know very well exactly how sincere she's with me, neither of my parents care about me, they just want their own ego satisfied and social status intact) and I should belive in Allah and the Prophet's (Sal-lallah-u Alieh-i Wassalam) rule and mercy. I do belive in Allah and the Prophet's (Sal-lallah-u Alieh-i Wassalam) rule and mercy, but I do not believe in my own self. I know I'm not the right person to get into such an important social contract and living without marriage while avoiding sinful acts is much simpler (well very natural) to me. My mother just hates the fact that I'm not as dependent on my parents as I should have been and she tries her best to get me cornered through one of her schemes.
I only used the word to say ultimately it's Allah who has business as in authority/decision to whatever happens in our life. Is this wrong to say? Like you say, a person is a CEO of a company, he's the boss it's his business whatever he chooses to do and whatever he decides. Is it wrong for me to say that the whole universe or whatever Allah has created is Allah's business and that he has the ultimate authority over everything?
I only used the word to say ultimately it's Allah who has business as in authority/decision to whatever happens in our life. Is this wrong to say? Like you say, a person is a CEO of a company, he's the boss it's his business whatever he chooses to do and whatever he decides. Is it wrong for me to say that the whole universe or whatever Allah has created is Allah's business and that he has the ultimate authority over everything?
If this is the case, then nothing wrong in that at all. In fact, it's a true statement. Everything happens by the will of Allah. I can only assume that your mother reacted the way she did out of frustration with you for not agreeing with her desire to see you married.
In any case, Allah has created us such that we are liable to make mistakes and sin. He has also given us the opportunity to seek forgiveness for our mistakes. Simply ask Allah to forgive you if what you said was wrong and that's the end of it.
Yes, thank you brother, I just checked the posts there. I had to confirm what happened to me from as many people as I can possibly do. I'm still very shaken, never in my life I imagined that my own parents would fall to such a degree of ignominy in their spite and prejudice... I just pray to Allah that my anguishing current situation ends soon.
Allah's business is Allah's, and He cannot be questioned for His acts whilst people will be questioned and judged by Allah for their own acts with all circumstances being taken into account.
Blaming Allah for our own failings - whilst taking credit for our successes is wrong though. We are required to sincerely try to do our best given the circumstances and we often fail even then, and a sincere measure of tawbah (returning to Allah) is required along with istighfaar (seeking Allah's forgiveness), and a sincere will and yearning to walk according to what we know and sincerely believe to be Allah's most current guidance and will is necessary since Allah is the Most Knowledgeable and Wise.
It is important to point out that submitting to Allah's laws the best we can is also Allah's will, that attributing our successes to Allah, constantly turning in repentance to Allah, seeking His forgiveness for our failings (and there are many), are also Allah's will, and that the unseen is in Allah's hands though we try to make what sense of it we can in truth - when people keep trying to wrongly throw their rotten fruits at Allah.
I'm no angel for sure, but keeping these things in mind help me to try and stand up when I fall - or bow to Allah's might and perfection when I stand too high.
Your description in the first post was highly encrypted and prone to exacting wild cards, and the second part could have been much clearer, so I hope i did my sincere best in conveying what is certain given the data in the thorny field of uncertainty.....
And Allah knows best the truth of all matters.
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