I have to agree with sister Charisma on this. When we get involved in any relationship, that relationship can override our own sense of being and we start think of all of it as one unit rather then thinking of ourselves as an individual who needs to deal with the situation in the relationship and treat the relationship as a separate unit you are part of.
Abu Hurayrah (radi Allahu anhu) reported: I heard the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) saying, “Man follows his friend’s religion, you should be careful who you take for friends.” Prophet Muhammad also reiterated this point when he told the story of the blacksmith and the perfume seller. The example of a good companion (friend) in comparison with a bad one is like that of one who sells musk and the blacksmith. From the first, you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell, while from the blacksmith you would either get burned or smell a bad scent.
I"m not saying the hadith to break up with your fiance but to make a different point. The hadith talks about rubbing off of on you and the influence a companion has on you. Normally there are two types of people. The one who influences you and the one you influence. Which one is which depends on who has stronger and overpowering personality. There are friends who make their bad friends become good and friends who turn their good friends into bad like them. I think you have the weaker personality in that you are influenced by his depression, so much so that now it is affecting you as well. First, you have to realize that you are being affected by this and it's turning you into same as him as far as your state of mind is concerned. You have to step back and remember who you were and what made you happy and outgoing person before. Write down all the things that made you what you were before and then write down all the stuff that is stopping you from being that way. And then see how you can change that.
While I do understand your need to help your fiance out of depression. Being in the same state won't help him. Rather you should be the positive force that makes him see the positiveness of life and snap out of it. Also, as Charisma said, he is your fiance and not your husband. He is still a non-mahram and you may be too invested in this emotionally and you may need to step back a little and see it from your old self and see how you can help in light of Islam and as the old you. Being too emotionally attached will affect you and may hurt you more if he can't get out of it and wants to call it all off.
Regarding being alone. It can be hard to make friends when you are depressed. You should go to halaqas at your masjid or some other Islamic gatherings where you can meet sisters. Being in positive environment will help you get out of your depressive state inshallah. Also, see if you can pick out one sister you think is similar the old you and someone you can get along well and approach her alone and make friends with her. Trying to make friends with everyone can be exhaustive. Focus on one person and try to make friends with her. This way not only you will end up with quality friends but they will slowly grow as well.
Also, the charity and volunteering helped, even if a little. Don't quit on those and inshallah continue to work with them. Helping others gives one a sense of purpose and accomplishment. It also helps realize one realize that others, despite all their hardship, are still struggling to live a happy life. It makes you appreciate life a bit more. It's something you should have your fiance do as well. Being a loner will only make depression worst. He should get out and meet people and do volunteer work.
Lastly, do not give up your salah. Rather you should increase in it. Prayer is a shield against the shaytan and his diseases like depression. Read the Quran as there is healing in it and play Quran in the house, especially the last Quls and surah Baqarah to make the shayateens run away from your house.
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