I'm a 16 year old boy who lives in the US. I pray 5 times a day timely, read the Quran, listen to my parents, and try to do other good deeds, but It seems impossible to stop one thing. I can't stop watching porn and masturbating. I've tried to stop so many times and repented so many times, but random urges come up and I just end up doing it. the maximum I've stopped for is about two weeks then its back to the cycle again. Its too overpowering, I've tried fighting back but it just overpowers me. I don't know what to do. I tried fasting, asking Allah for help, and reading the Quran. Please help, I feel like I'm stuck to this and I can't find a way out.
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1st step : Are you eager enough to free yourself from the shackles of porn?, if you aren't - no point going to step 2.
2nd step : try to create an internet free environment in your house, that means no mobile internet or internet access on your computer - smash the router, if you can't achieve that then try to create a porn free environment by installing k9 web protection on every single PC that has internet access, that way you'll have internet access without the porn.
3rd step : You are addicted to porn because it gives you relief, after each porn-watching session different chemicals are released into your brain, in gigantic volumes, this makes you feel wonderful whenever you are angry, sad, lonely, tired, bored - you name it. Porn acts as a coping mechanism to help you with whatever life throws at you. Basically, negative thinking = Porn, you have programmed your brain to function in this way. Whenever you are angry, sad, lonely, tired or bored your brain has different options on what can give you relief from these negative emotions, and porn is the best option because it releases the most amount of feel-good chemicals.
So what you have to do is start having a positive outlook on life, Turn every situation into a positive one in your mind. If you lost your wallet dont be angry, just say : I can always buy another one and so on. (Not the best example but i hope you understand)
4th step: Worship, Worship and more Worship ( I am happy that you're already doing that )
5th step : Activity: you really need to keep yourself busy...stay away from computers as much as you can.....play football, converse with your mum, your friends, your father atleast 1 hour a day. hit the gym, go for a jog.
6th step : Avoid things that could triggers urges, for example, stay clear away from tv shows which has a lot of suggestive behavior or nudity, etc.
7th step : Monitor your progress by having a journal...jot things down every few days, on your front page you could write how porn has reduced you to a person who once had a life but now is on the verge of losing it completely, this will motivate you insha'Allah
8th step : Education : Learn why you are addicted to porn, this is probably the biggest exam you'll probably ever do, and it wouldn't be wise to sit any exam with little or no studying done on the subject you are being tested on, would it?
Marriage is not the cure, the same way marriage will not cure a heroin addict - you are addicted to chemicals which are produced in your brain, what unlocks these chemicals? Porn, you need an equilibrium, a balance of some sort and inshaAllah after a few months you will be cured , but only if you change your lifestyle, and if you are lazy one second just one second, you will have lost the battle, always be on your toes and make dua for Allah to make it easy for you, because they say that it's harder to quit than cocaine.
Check this website out for more info : Yourbrainonporn.com
Last edited by Cabdullahi; 09-28-2012 at 03:11 PM.
Just pray lots k n try dng other things like Umm go out play foot ball or something keep yourself busy n stay away frm such things. Recite ur morning n evening duas dun let shaitan come near u. N try waking at nite pray tahajjud trust me it's the most amazing thing ever inshaAllah Allah will help u dun worry Akhi inshaAllah u won't go near those things again. May Allah keep u safe frm all kinda of evils ameen.
Allah made everyone different thats what makes them special,so no matter what ppl say just remember you're SPECIAL!! "You are with the one you love"
Nem0
Regarding dhikr, remember that it should be in accordance with what Allaah (swt) or the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wasallam, have taught us. For example see this link:
This happened to me but then stopped but I don't know how to recover because I want to forget bout this because when ever I think I will be good I think about this and don't. This is poison
Salaamz,
Find out what times you're at risk, avoid them! (e.g., alone in room with computer?--no computer in room!/phone in room late at night on phone--phone in flight mode in room, etc.). Write out what reasons you want to stop doing it, put it in those places where you are at risk. Notice what things you're saying to yourself when you talk yourself into it ("It's not really that bad... I'm not actually having sex" etc.).
This is not psychological advice only friendly advice. You should see a behavioral therapist to help if you find this continues to be a problem.
Best wishes brother!
H
Salaamz,
Find out what times you're at risk, avoid them! (e.g., alone in room with computer?--no computer in room!/phone in room late at night on phone--phone in flight mode in room, etc.). Write out what reasons you want to stop doing it, put it in those places where you are at risk. Notice what things you're saying to yourself when you talk yourself into it ("It's not really that bad... I'm not actually having sex" etc.).
This is not psychological advice only friendly advice. You should see a behavioral therapist to help if you find this continues to be a problem.
Best wishes brother!
H
I'm a 16 year old boy who lives in the US. I pray 5 times a day timely, read the Quran, listen to my parents, and try to do other good deeds, but It seems impossible to stop one thing. I can't stop watching porn and masturbating. I've tried to stop so many times and repented so many times, but random urges come up and I just end up doing it. the maximum I've stopped for is about two weeks then its back to the cycle again. Its too overpowering, I've tried fighting back but it just overpowers me. I don't know what to do. I tried fasting, asking Allah for help, and reading the Quran. Please help, I feel like I'm stuck to this and I can't find a way out.
There is always a way out. Never feel like you're doomed because you aren't. It isn't easy due to the society we all in live in today, however, with enough prayers and duas you can stop. Determination is key. If you are determined enough you will find a way to stop. I suggest you start looking into blocking pornography on any device you have, such as your computer, laptop, android/iPhone. Here are some programs you may want to consider:
K9, an amazing program that filters out whatever you want and effectively does it. Used mostly for computers. Have a spare email at hand, make one that you will never need basically. You can look up K9 web protection on google and it should be the first one. Fill in the information with anything doesn't need to be your personal info. But remember what you put down. Next use the fake email you created too get your license. its totally free so don't worry!! Open notepad or any note program, close your eyes, and type in 15 random keys, this is going to be used as a password so you'll never remember the password. Save it temporarily and then open k9 and log in and set the restrictions for pornography. Make sure to save the activity and log out. Delete the note document and delete the fake email you created through the server you used to make it, (gmail, aol, yahoo, etc). You'll have no way to undo what you did, thus pornography has been blocked off your computer for good!!
Next is your phone, download an app called Mobicip, type in any random email to use to register and any random password, again go to notes type a few letters copy and paste it. This app is a bit tougher when it comes to restrictions and restricts social media such as tumblrs website, not the app!! You can set the app to block chrome and safari/internet completely unless you know the password. Mobicip itself is an internet browser that is based off of firefox and it is pretty fast, I use it myself. Within the setting you can turn restricitions such as installing new apps or accessing the app/play store. Once you set this restriction, for blocking new apps, you wont be able to install any new apps and expect to use them without the password and random email. By the way, you wont be able to uninstall Mobicip either. Its a really good app for a really determined person.
If you don't feel comfortable about using mobicip, you can also use Secure Teen however you'll only have a 15 day free trail, this one is more convenient as it filters out pornography without locking any apps, so you can use chrome or safari/internet but the nude related websites will be blocked. The fee for the app is 40.00$ for the year and you can use it for 3 devices.
This would be a good start because when you fall into temptation you'll realize you cant even watch it because you blocked yourself out of it.
After this begin training yourself to lower your gaze and fast more often to help reduce your sexual desires and become more involved in your Islamic community by attending prayers at a mosque and going to study the Qur'an.
Hopefully this will help a lot of brothers and sisters too, in stopping themselves and restricting the common zina that became a drug in this society.
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