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My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

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    My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

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    Assalam walakum

    My little sister is on the wrong path lately and haven’t been a good Muslim, everyday it gets worse and she does haram things with boys.
    I told my mom about it but not my dad and here’s the reason why, my dad is strict and crazy and if he finds out that my little sister was doing all that he’s going to kill my sister and mother and I don’t want that to happen so only mama knows but mama is not being strict enough to the point where my little sister is not changing and is taking advantage of freedom. I took away her phone and he got it back.

    I want her to change and be a good Muslim and be a good person but it’s not working she gets worse everyday, she isn’t respectful with her elders as well.

    Please tell me a way I can help her realize what she is going is bad and she will regret it one day because would want to marry someone who’s been used.

    Please help me out and tell me what I should do.
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    *charisma*'s Avatar Super Moderator
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by egyptiansister View Post
    Assalam walakum

    My little sister is on the wrong path lately and haven’t been a good Muslim, everyday it gets worse and she does haram things with boys.
    I told my mom about it but not my dad and here’s the reason why, my dad is strict and crazy and if he finds out that my little sister was doing all that he’s going to kill my sister and mother and I don’t want that to happen so only mama knows but mama is not being strict enough to the point where my little sister is not changing and is taking advantage of freedom. I took away her phone and he got it back.

    I want her to change and be a good Muslim and be a good person but it’s not working she gets worse everyday, she isn’t respectful with her elders as well.

    Please tell me a way I can help her realize what she is going is bad and she will regret it one day because would want to marry someone who’s been used.

    Please help me out and tell me what I should do.
    walaikum Asalaam,

    Are you older than her? And is she afraid of your father?
    My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    D e a t h

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    the hardest
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    Studentofdeed's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    May Allah make it easy for you. Try to be there for her and make dua for her. Inshallah Allah will help you
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by egyptiansister View Post
    Assalam walakum

    My little sister is on the wrong path lately and haven’t been a good Muslim, everyday it gets worse and she does haram things with boys.
    I told my mom about it but not my dad and here’s the reason why, my dad is strict and crazy and if he finds out that my little sister was doing all that he’s going to kill my sister and mother and I don’t want that to happen so only mama knows but mama is not being strict enough to the point where my little sister is not changing and is taking advantage of freedom. I took away her phone and he got it back.

    I want her to change and be a good Muslim and be a good person but it’s not working she gets worse everyday, she isn’t respectful with her elders as well.

    Please tell me a way I can help her realize what she is going is bad and she will regret it one day because would want to marry someone who’s been used.

    Please help me out and tell me what I should do.
    keep praying for her and Keep it in proper time with proper understanding her. God will help you to guide Him.
    My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

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    AbdurRahman.'s Avatar
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    Walaikum assalam rahmatullahi barakatuh

    In this situation there isn't really much you can do other than from time to time keep on telling her the harm she's doing her life and awful sins she is acquiring. Make her aware of venereal deseases she can catch too

    And keep on making dua for her, InshAllah this phase will pass and she'll stop these haram acts.

    You being her Sister cannot really be that harsh with her but your mum can, stress to your mum that she really needs to get much more strict with her.
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    CuriousonTruth's Avatar
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by egyptiansister View Post
    Assalam walakum

    My little sister is on the wrong path lately and haven’t been a good Muslim, everyday it gets worse and she does haram things with boys.
    I told my mom about it but not my dad and here’s the reason why, my dad is strict and crazy and if he finds out that my little sister was doing all that he’s going to kill my sister and mother and I don’t want that to happen so only mama knows but mama is not being strict enough to the point where my little sister is not changing and is taking advantage of freedom. I took away her phone and he got it back.

    I want her to change and be a good Muslim and be a good person but it’s not working she gets worse everyday, she isn’t respectful with her elders as well.

    Please tell me a way I can help her realize what she is going is bad and she will regret it one day because would want to marry someone who’s been used.

    Please help me out and tell me what I should do.
    If it was a brother going to the father would have been the right option, sometimes guys need a little straightening. However, any reaction from your father even if it was just scolding, would definitely make your sister incredibly rebellious, I'm 100% sure. Besides if you tell your father, she will probably feel you betrayed her and will emotionally seperate from you. Never mind the chance that she could leave islam as well.

    Your mother should be the one that handles it, trying pushing her more.

    Otherwise let life teach her some lessons. Anyways, religion and morality are not for everyone, and not everyone wants to follow the rules. There is nothing you can do to change her mind.
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    xboxisdead's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth View Post
    If it was a brother going to the father would have been the right option, sometimes guys need a little straightening. However, any reaction from your father even if it was just scolding, would definitely make your sister incredibly rebellious, I'm 100% sure. Besides if you tell your father, she will probably feel you betrayed her and will emotionally seperate from you. Never mind the chance that she could leave islam as well.

    Your mother should be the one that handles it, trying pushing her more.

    Otherwise let life teach her some lessons. Anyways, religion and morality are not for everyone, and not everyone wants to follow the rules. There is nothing you can do to change her mind.

    I agree! If the mother is liberal there is not much you can do about it. In the end the mother will pay the consequence for how she raised her children in the afterlife.

    format_quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth View Post
    Otherwise let life teach her some lessons.


    format_quote Originally Posted by CuriousonTruth View Post
    Anyways, religion and morality are not for everyone, and not everyone wants to follow the rules. There is nothing you can do to change her mind.
    Those are the people who are defective anyways or have diseases in their heart. Those are the ones who you see them pray and read Qura'an and do everything like that but at the time of death when they are lying down and going through death they disbelieve (even though we see them so good you ask yourself how is that be?). But some already express disbelieve while they are healthy and alive while others do it at their deathbed. People who are hypocrite in their hearts or have diseases in their hearts or wish to fulfill their carnal desires at the expensive of afterlife...those people you don't want anyways or care for anyways.
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    Wow, some of you are really nice siblings. I wonder if this is because you are not the eldest in your families.
    My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    D e a t h

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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Wow, some of you are really nice siblings. I wonder if this is because you are not the eldest in your families.
    Eldest is irrelevant. I have an oldest brother and he is no longer Muslim, he does magic and he does Zina. Who cares if you are first, last, eldest or youngest all of that are irrelevant. What counts it he heart.
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    Saira Khan's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by egyptiansister View Post
    my dad is strict and crazy and if he finds out that my little sister was doing all that he’s going to kill my sister and mother
    Then you must tell your dad about that. This is just Islamic way to first ask your sister to abandon all these things, but if she still continues the same, the final option is what your dad has to do as you have mentioned.
    Stay blessed.
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by Saira Khan View Post
    Then you must tell your dad about that. This is just Islamic way to first ask your sister to abandon all these things, but if she still continues the same, the final option is what your dad has to do as you have mentioned.
    Stay blessed.
    Wait...you are not suggesting that...he kills her, are you?
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Wow, some of you are really nice siblings. I wonder if this is because you are not the eldest in your families.
    Well I'm the older of two sons in my family. Thank Allah for that, less stress and pressure. It might sound harsh of me to say this, but I am really glad that my younger sibling is brother.
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by Saira Khan View Post
    Then you must tell your dad about that. This is just Islamic way to first ask your sister to abandon all these things, but if she still continues the same, the final option is what your dad has to do as you have mentioned.
    Stay blessed.
    Did you read what she said that her dad will probably kill her?

    If you did then I'm afraid this was a very irresponsible advice. People in that part of the world are known to kill their daughters for things like this.
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    Maybe they do not kill her but take any other way to stop her. like hardening etc.
    My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by AbdullahAziz View Post
    Did you read what she said that her dad will probably kill her?

    If you did then I'm afraid this was a very irresponsible advice. People in that part of the world are known to kill their daughters for things like this.
    I 'm telling the Islamic Shariah's verdict. For it comes under Hudud punishment. Since she is just 16, you can't convince her with mere soft advices. You have to save her from coming under Hudud by any means.
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by Saira Khan View Post
    I 'm telling the Islamic Shariah's verdict. For it comes under Hudud punishment. Since she is just 16, you can't convince her with mere soft advices. You have to save her from coming under Hudud by any means.
    Sorry sis what you said didn't make sense. Save her from hudud state punishment by telling daddy who might do more extreme punishment then hudud?

    And I don't think there is hudud in Egypt
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by Saira Khan View Post
    I 'm telling the Islamic Shariah's verdict. For it comes under Hudud punishment. Since she is just 16, you can't convince her with mere soft advices. You have to save her from coming under Hudud by any means.
    I am sorry sister but that is literally the worst advice you could ever give!! First, your advice would mean not only "murdering" someone who is still Muslim mind you but also destroying another muslim live and that is the father. Right now his hand is clean from blood, your advice means soiling a clean man hand with a blood of his own daughter who will now be resurrected in the day of judgement having his own daughter have her head on her hand and dragging her father at the court of Allah saying to Allah (while her head is on her hand) that this man have killed her (and that man is very own father). That is......literally....the worst.....advice you have ever given. You caused a Muslima to be murdered, you caused a Muslim to be the murderer and have his hand soiled with blood AND in additional to that...give further ammunition to the disbelievers that Islam is anti-female and Western way of life liberates women and YOUR ADVICE will now push MORE WOMEN who are weak in faith to leave their faith and become disbelievers and further empowering the evil feminism in the equation to further attack Islam.
    Last edited by *charisma*; 03-28-2019 at 07:06 PM.
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    *charisma*'s Avatar Super Moderator
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by Saira Khan View Post
    Then you must tell your dad about that. This is just Islamic way to first ask your sister to abandon all these things, but if she still continues the same, the final option is what your dad has to do as you have mentioned.
    Stay blessed.


    format_quote Originally Posted by Saira Khan View Post
    I 'm telling the Islamic Shariah's verdict. For it comes under Hudud punishment. Since she is just 16, you can't convince her with mere soft advices. You have to save her from coming under Hudud by any means.
    I have to agree with bro @xboxisdead . That's not the way to help someone and in fact is probably the worst advice.

    To the OP, what you can do is take the phone away from her, go through all of the messages, wipe it clean, and break it. Honestly that's what I would've done. If she gets upset then oh well. After she cools down you should talk to her and explain to her what she's doing is wrong and for her to fear Allah's punishment (let alone her father's). You don't have to tell your father about anything if he is truly that aggressive. I don't know if by "kill" you mean she will be punished severely or literally, but I think as an older sibling you can take care of it and find a way to keep your eye on her.
    My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    D e a t h

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    the hardest
    of all things before it
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    Saira Khan's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by xboxisdead View Post
    I am sorry sister but that is literally the worst advice you could ever give!! First, your advice would mean not only "murdering" someone who is still Muslim mind you but also destroying another muslim live and that is the father. Right now his hand is clean from blood, your advice means soiling a clean man hand with a blood of his own daughter who will now be resurrected in the day of judgement having his own daughter have her head on her hand and dragging her father at the court of Allah saying to Allah (while her head is on her hand) that this man have killed her (and that man is very own father). That is......literally....the worst.....advice you have ever given. You caused a Muslima to be murdered, you caused a Muslim to be the murderer and have his hand soiled with blood AND in additional to that...give further ammunition to the disbelievers that Islam is anti-female and Western way of life liberates women and YOUR ADVICE will now push MORE WOMEN who are weak in faith to leave their faith and become disbelievers and further empowering the evil feminism in the equation to further attack Islam.


    format_quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    I have to agree with bro @xboxisdead . That's not the way to help someone and in fact is probably the worst advice.

    To the OP, what you can do is take the phone away from her, go through all of the messages, wipe it clean, and break it. Honestly that's what I would've done. If she gets upset then oh well. After she cools down you should talk to her and explain to her what she's doing is wrong and for her to fear Allah's punishment (let alone her father's). You don't have to tell your father about anything if he is truly that aggressive. I don't know if by "kill" you mean she will be punished severely or literally, but I think as an older sibling you can take care of it and find a way to keep your eye on her.
    Everything is fine as far as just humanity or mercifulness is concerned but we have to look at what we have been ordered by Allah SWT.
    وَلاَ تَقْرَبُواْ الزِّنَى إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاء سَبِيلاً
    And do not come near to adultery, it is a shameful deed and an evil, and opening the road to other evils.
    Surah No. 17, Al Isra (Bani Israel), Ayat No. 32

    الزَّانِيَةُ وَالزَّانِي فَاجْلِدُوا كُلَّ وَاحِدٍ مِّنْهُمَا مِئَةَ جَلْدَةٍ وَلَا تَأْخُذْكُم بِهِمَا رَأْفَةٌ فِي دِينِ اللَّهِ إِن كُنتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ وَلْيَشْهَدْ عَذَابَهُمَا طَائِفَةٌ مِّنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ
    To the woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual relationship, flog each of them with one hundred stripes: let not compassion withhold you in their case, in a matter of punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the believers witness their punishment.
    Surah No. 24, An Noor, Ayat No. 2

    So when there are commandments from Allah SWT, we should not make our own rules and regulations out of our own wit.
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    Re: My 16 years old sister is on the wrong path

    format_quote Originally Posted by Saira Khan View Post
    Everything is fine as far as just humanity or mercifulness is concerned but we have to look at what we have been ordered by Allah SWT.
    [FONT="]وَلاَ تَقْرَبُواْ الزِّنَى إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاء سَبِيلاً
    [/FONT]
    And do not come near to adultery, it is a shameful deed and an evil, and opening the road to other evils.
    Surah No. 17, Al Isra (Bani Israel), Ayat No. 32

    [FONT="]الزَّانِيَةُ وَالزَّانِي فَاجْلِدُوا كُلَّ وَاحِدٍ مِّنْهُمَا مِئَةَ جَلْدَةٍ وَلَا تَأْخُذْكُم بِهِمَا رَأْفَةٌ فِي دِينِ اللَّهِ إِن كُنتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ وَلْيَشْهَدْ [/FONT][FONT="]عَذَابَهُمَا طَائِفَةٌ مِّنَ [/FONT]الْمُؤْمِنِينَ
    To the woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual relationship, flog each of them with one hundred stripes: let not compassion withhold you in their case, in a matter of punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the believers witness their punishment.
    Surah No. 24, An Noor, Ayat No. 2

    So when there are commandments from Allah SWT, we should not make our own rules and regulations out of our own wit.

    I agree! 100%. I am going to shut my mouth
    chat Quote


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