Assalamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH tAALA wabarakatou,
Brothers and sisters i really need your advice and help regarding my close friend , She is a very good lady , Very beautiful out and inside , Shes married more than 3 years with a man a bit older than her with 15 years , Her husband is a good person , Hes giving her money and buy to her what she want but only one thing he does not make love with her , Shes tried her best to help him to know what is the problem but in vain without any results , She proposed to him to see a doctor but he refused , She tried to attracted him but nothing changed and always when she is asking him why hes not making love with her he answered her that he is tired from work and may be later but there is no later , Could you image he didnt make any love with her more than 5 months and my friend shes on her first 30 th full of life and she need it because she get married to have a family please what do you advice her to do and what is the islam opinion regarding this matter jazakoum ALLAH SWT kher
Re: What is the islam opinion regarding this matter?
format_quote Originally Posted by heavenlyspot
He should get medical help, sister, or perhaps be honest with his wife about what the problem may be.
May Allah help their situation, surely He knows best.
Jazaki ALLAH swt KHER SISTER,
I just met her yesterday and she said that he told her that he never have make love before in his life when he was tenager and that he is very stress at work and tired thats why he cannot make love with her but as you said he should seek medical advice
Re: What is the islam opinion regarding this matter?
Islamically speaking this is a great grievance and harm to the wife. It can cause her to go astray and look for love and physical intimacy elsewhere.
He needs to know that under islamic laws governing marriage and such, it is a valid grounds for divorce for grievous harm. It is a marital obligation. If he hadn't made love to her EVER since they wed, they are actually NOT YET consummated the marriage.
If he does not solve his problem medically, she can be separated from him.
However I really suggest that your friend take it easy in the approach and not scar his pride with attacks or threats, there may be something deeper there as obviously the whole "tired and stressed" from work is a silly excuse. She needs to be gentle (don't mix that with eternally patient or self-sacrifice, just gentle) and soft, but she needs to get to the bottom of this.
_____________________________________________
Iblis's eternal destination in the Hellfire is due to Arrogance, not Disbelief.
Re: What is the islam opinion regarding this matter?
tired and stressed? what about weekends?
Well quite honestly, he's not providing all the rights to the wife.
During the rule of Hadhrat 'Umar (RadhiAllahu Anhu), there was a woman whose husband went out to fight in the way of Allah and remained absent from her for a long time. She yearned for him and felt pangs of great loneliness; the heat of lust and the fire of desire began to burn within her. Nothing stopped her from satisfying her desires except her fear and faith of Allah. One dark night as 'Umar passed by her house, he happened to hear her reciting the following verses of poetry:
The night has become long, and this time has blackened
It pains me that I have no lover to play with
I swear to Allah, if it were not for my fear of punishment,
I would commit adultery on this bed
The next day, 'Umar asked his daughter Hafsah, "How long can a woman be patient if her husband is absent?" She answered, "Four months." Thereupon 'Umar sent a message to his military leaders in the heat of battle telling them, "Do not keep any soldier away from his family for more than four months."
Source - Islam and Love by 'Abdullah Nasih 'Ulwan
He seriously needs to consult his doctor, overcoming all the inhibitions he could be having.
If Allah helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in Allah (Alone) let believers put their trust.
Surah Ale Imran : 160
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) climbed up Uhud, accompanied by Abu Bakr, ‘Umar and ‘Uthmaan, and the mountain shook with them. He struck it with his foot and said: “Stand firm, O Uhud, for there is no one on you but a Prophet or a Siddeeq or two martyrs.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3483)
Allah (Subhaanahu Wa Taala) does not inspire seeking forgiveness in a slave whom he wishes to punish.
Re: What is the islam opinion regarding this matter?
format_quote Originally Posted by Sampharo
Islamically speaking this is a great grievance and harm to the wife. It can cause her to go astray and look for love and physical intimacy elsewhere.
He needs to know that under islamic laws governing marriage and such, it is a valid grounds for divorce for grievous harm. It is a marital obligation. If he hadn't made love to her EVER since they wed, they are actually NOT YET consummated the marriage.
If he does not solve his problem medically, she can be separated from him.
However I really suggest that your friend take it easy in the approach and not scar his pride with attacks or threats, there may be something deeper there as obviously the whole "tired and stressed" from work is a silly excuse. She needs to be gentle (don't mix that with eternally patient or self-sacrifice, just gentle) and soft, but she needs to get to the bottom of this.
Asslamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH Taala Wabarakatou,
My friend is a very good religious lady and she is fear from ALLAH , She never commited any adultery in her life because shes is very fear from ALLAH SWT punishment she told me that she is very patient because she loves her husband plus she discovered that her husband he does not know how to make love at all , He used to make love with her when his is on a holliday but when he started work he become more lazy and tired to do it please pray for her that ALLAH SWT gives her more patient and power to resist INSHALLAH and to cure her husband he might have a physicall problems as well
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