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Marriage pressure from parents

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    Kazi6066's Avatar Limited Member
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    Marriage pressure from parents

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    I am a 25-year-old male currently living in the US. I am not a perfect Muslim, but I always tried to better myself. I would rather admit to myself that I am not a perfect Muslim and ask for forgiveness from Allah SWT rather than pretend to be one.
    According to society and my parents, I have reached the age of marriage. My parents have brought up the topic since I was 23 years old. My parents think marriage is essential, which I agree with. But their dreams about my partner and my marriage might never come true. If I get married by force, I will stay with the person for the sake of keeping my end of the marriage contract and not because I would have any attachment to that person. I am not sure what plan Allah SWT has for me, but I hope it doesn't involve a life where I have to be a fake person. He is almighty, and I believe in him, and I also fear him.
    The reason for me being like this is also because I have someone I like. She is lovely, well educated and a family person, as any guy would want. But she is an atheist and is trying very hard to believe in Allah SWT. She wants my help to believe in him. But no matter how hard she tries, she might never win my parents' approval. She even said she would spend her entire life serving my parents and keeping them happy if they gave her a chance.
    I love my parents, but we are opposites. My beliefs about life and their beliefs about life are very different. They are very sociable, and I am a very private person. They think more about what society would think of them, and I would think if I were happy with it or not. Whenever they are around, I am tense and nervous as I know they would bring marriage into the talk, and I have no interest in anyone else. I am always under stress and depressed. I have prayed to Allah SWT to guide me through this time and help me as much as possible. I am not sure what to do or say to my parents or how long I can live like this. Even if I communicate with my parents I am not sure they are ready to listen.
    Someone pls help me.
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    Muhammad's Avatar Administrator
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    Re: Marriage pressure from parents

    السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    It is true that you should be planning for marriage as it is a very virtuous endeavour and one which should be started early.

    But you must know that it is not allowed for a Muslim man to marry an atheist woman. For a person not to believe in Allah سبحانه وتعالى is a very serious matter which opposes the very purpose of our existence on this earth. There is no doubt that such a person is not suitable to be a life partner for one who recognises Allah سبحانه وتعالى and walks the path of guidance and light. You can direct her to resources and places where she can learn more about Islam but you need to safeguard your own religion and follow the guidelines in interacting with a non-mahram woman.

    With regards to your parents, they should not force you to marry someone you don’t want to, but at the same time you need to be realistic and be open to accepting other people who are righteous and upon the religion of Islam. Only Allah knows who is the best person for you, so keep turning to Him and asking Him to guide you.
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