I have a predicament I would like some advice on. Basically I know my father gambles, and he asks me for money in order to do it. He never tells me he gambles with it, but my suspicions lie there as he is known to go to the casino every sunday night, then his bank account is clean on monday morning, meaning he clears out his own benefit money for the purpose of gambling.
My question is, should I give him the money if my father asks for it, even tho i suspect it is going to haram means? Or is there a level of respect I must give and give him the money anyway. What is the entitlement of a father over his childrens money?
I have a predicament I would like some advice on. Basically I know my father gambles, and he asks me for money in order to do it. He never tells me he gambles with it, but my suspicions lie there as he is known to go to the casino every sunday night, then his bank account is clean on monday morning, meaning he clears out his own benefit money for the purpose of gambling.
My question is, should I give him the money if my father asks for it, even tho i suspect it is going to haram means? Or is there a level of respect I must give and give him the money anyway. What is the entitlement of a father over his childrens money?
Asalaamu Alaikum, the following answers your question:
Father gambles and wastes money
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Indeed it is the prescribed duty of the child to love, honor, serve and be humble to his parents in Islam.
But if one fears that his father gambles with the money, or abuses it in any of the things which are declared Haraam by Allah and His Messenger (saws); the child is not duty bound to fund or facilitate these evil habits with his hard-earned money.
The child must strive to pay for the upkeep of his parents in an equitable way; but if he refuses to service, fund or facilitate his father’s evil habits of the haraam, there will be absolutely no sin on him.
But you must still honor and respect your father as ordained by Allah Subhanah in all other aspects of his life. If polite counseling does not work, there is absolutely no sin on the son if he talks to the bank or the people who loan the money to his father than in future he will not be responsible or repay the debts his father might take for his evil habit of gambling, etc.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Brother you should try and get your father help because he has a serious addiction. This addiction may well lead him to hell if he does not give it up as soon as possible for death can strike at any second particularly if one is old then they should be more concerned. You should continue to treat him with the utmost honour and respct for he is your father and you will be rewarded for being patient with him and treating him the best regardless of how he treats you or behaves and your reward is with Allah. But you and your family must encourage and push him to get help because he really needs it.
Make sincere dua for him particularly in the latter part of the nights at Tahajjud time or just before Suhur for Allah to guide your father and help him to stop such an evil and destructive addiction.
May Allah guide your father to the straight path and enable him to stop such a terrible habit. Ameen
I have a similar case for you brother, my mom is weak & soft heart, over kind, in return whatever amount father used to ask her she would give,
the result? he had 4kids outside the marriage... i told mom before that we are sending money to support and pay the bills and its okay to give him some allowance but not so much,
because she's supporting his craziness, i knew because my nephew said he would ask so much all the time, kids dont lie...
well she didnt blv he has gf's until she saw it in her eyes, she even talk nice to that woman but oh well poor mom, cried alot, inshallah she will be Muslim one day, she suffer alot in this life.
Now she stopped giving, and yeah he is out of GFs now.
So before the things becomes a dilemma, if you are 100% sure he gambles, dont be part of it please. Quran says such money wasters are brothers of satan.
salam
Last edited by Riana17; 08-17-2011 at 09:15 AM.
The HIGHEST accomplishment I can achieve in this worldly life is to be a TRUE MUSLIM. (me)
So before the things becomes a dilemma, if you are 100% sure he gambles, dont be part of it please. Quran says such money wasters are brothers of satan.
salam
Jazakallah for your response Hamza and Riana, it makes very good sense to me and this is the approach i know is the right one for me.
However, what am I supposed to do, if he argues with me about not giving him money? Can I persist in not giving him anything even though he is angry with me? What if he lies and says he needs it for something important like food, but i dont have proof, should I give it then? My father has got imaan and watches hadith programmes and stories about the times of our Prophets on the television. I am thinking, if he has this interest and understanding of our religions qualities, what kind of person is he if he gambles once a week say £60 approx losing? I only ask this because I am both afraid that he will no longer like me if I dont give him even a small amount of money every 1-2 weeks. I dont want our relationship to weaken either, which is why it is a tough problem for me to deal with. It looks like both ways I am going to get bad feelings...
why dont you shop the food for him, human needs the basic to survive, nothing more. Money will spoil the weak.
Brother, addiction never starts with worst. It will slowly eat you. He may hate you in the beginning but if you help him with the process, he would surely appreciate it in the end. May Allah grant you sabr.
We cant rely on suspicion, however if he insist that he doesnt gamble, then you may please follow him one day and surprise him at the casino.
salam
Last edited by Riana17; 08-18-2011 at 06:09 AM.
The HIGHEST accomplishment I can achieve in this worldly life is to be a TRUE MUSLIM. (me)
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