I am 2 months pregnant with 4th, alhamdillah. It was not planned by my husband and I at all. Everyone in our family is happy, but I am extremely anxious and I don't feel happy. I was so happy with my 3 kids and now enjoying them grow up (9,7,4), doing the whole pregnancy & baby thing over again is giving me anxiety.
I realize it's part of Allah'a plan and I am saying alhamdillah but it's been difficult to wrap my head around. I am feeling very guilty for not wanting this.
It's quite possible to feel this way sister, we like to some extent feel we have a certain amount of control in our lives and be able to plan some things such as careers, marriage, children. You might be having anxiety as things haven't gone quite to plan...
But it's always important to keep in mind that while may plan all we want, Allah swt is the Best of Planners, and ultimately everything that happens is by His decree, whether we plan it or not. And whatever He does decree, is for only our good, even if we may not understand just then.
Children are such a blessing, and while you might be finding it a little 'out of place' as you had already imagined yourself as only having three children, just take it as a wonderful blessing from Allah swt, because that is what it is. You will love this child as much as you love your other children, and will in'sha'Allah be so grateful this 'accident' did happen.
btw, mabrook, may Allah swt make everything easy for you, and may your children grow up to be righteous believers. Ameen. x
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