Need some advice,

[ikz.93]

Asalaamu Alaykum,

I hope that you are well, I just wanted to get some naseeha/advice on this matter..

I am 20 years old and I am thinking of getting married. There is this guy that I have in mind and he is a few years older than me; quite religious and practising. I've always admired and respected him. I do feel something for him and he doesn't know this, but I know he is looking to getting married soon and I want to somehow tell him how I feel but I don't know how & I'm scared that i might not be good enough for him or that he might reject me.. I have a past and I've made many mistakes which I genuinely regret, but I've mend my ways and become a better muslim.. Alhamdulillah! Now, I don't want to get any sin by talking to him bc I know how wrong it is islamically to speak to one another or have any kind of contact etc and I don't want to tell my parents about him either, not yet anyway.. What would be the best thing to do in this matter?

Jazaka'Allah Khayr 🌸

[Lady A]

If there is someone older who is trustworthy and can speak with the brother about your interest then go that route. If he shares mutual interest he can be advised to approach your parents. :sunny:

May Allah bless you both good in this life and the hereafter,

[greenhill]

You'll miss a possible chance and forever be regretting.

Tell your parents and ask them to sort out for you. You can't be silent and hope things happen. You got to DO something about it.

Good luck.

[ardianto]

Assalamualaikum.

There is important lesson about love and marriage that I have learned since I was kid. Getting a spouse is different than buying t-shirt. If I want to buy t-shirt I could go to a shop, choose the t-shirt that I like, buy it, then this t-shirt belong to me. But if I want to have a wife?. I could easily find the right woman. However, if this woman was not interested to marry me, then I could not marry her. That's why then I prepared myself to face possibility if the woman that I like is not interested to marry me.

Yeah, when I was young and unmarried (now I am 47 years old widower) I interested to a woman too. But then when I realize that she was not interested to accept me, I told myself "It's okay. She is not for me. In Shaa Allah, in the future I will meet another woman who will become my wife". And finally I met the woman who then became the mother of my children.

Young sister, the first thing that you should do now is prepare yourself to face two possibilities. First, that brother interested to marry you too. If this is happen?, ... Alhamdulillah. Second, that brother is not interested to marry you. If this is happen?. Don’t be sad. It’s mean that brother is not for you. Always believe that later Allah will give you another man to become your husband.

Now how to make that brother come to you?. You can ask help from third party. However, there is something they you must aware. Different than men who are in position which they come to women and propose. Women are in position which they wait for proposal. So, I suggest the third party to not tell that brother blatantly like "Bro, sister IKZ is interested to marry you!". But the third party should tell him in the smoother way like "Bro, you are looking for a wife, aren't you. So why don't you consider sister IKZ?. She can be the right wife for you".

Okay, young sister. May Allah give you easiness.